Wonder Woman dominatedat the box office this weekend
with some of the best reviewsever for a superhero movie
and a record openingfor a female director.
It was also the rare DC Comicsmovie that wasn't so dark
and brooding you'd thinkit was written through a cloud
of vape smokein a hot topic break room.
But... but, of course,
not everyone was thrilledabout it.
The always in-touch and neverinsane pundits at Fox News
complained that Wonder Woman wasn't patriotic enough!
They were upset that her outfitwasn't red, white and blue,
and that the movie didn'tmention America enough.
Well, I guessthat would make sense,
except thatWonder Woman isn't American!
-There's a thing.How about that? -(laughter)
I mean, she's not...she's not American.
She's not American.Anyone who's even
passingly familiarwith the character knows
that she'sfrom the island of Themyscria,
or Themascareah,as she says it in the movie,
originally knownas Paradise Island before
the Crisis on Infinite Earthsstoryline in 1985.
Well, maybethey're more familiar
with Justice League storieswhere Wonder Woman's often seen
in the league's watchtower,except--
oh, wait-- that's on the moon,(bleep) wads!
And the last time I checked,the moon was not in America,
even though, apparently, thereis a flag on there somewhere.
Uh, so, who knows? Who knows?
Uh, maybe you guys are right,maybe I'm right.
But I feel like,maybe I know a little bit more
about continuity then Fox News,bitch.
That's why it's not called...
-(applause and cheering)-That's why it's not Fox Comics.
really great jobjerking yourselves off
about Wonder Woman's outfitcolors on a news channel,
'cause there's nothing elsegoing on
in the world at the moment,you guys.
So, comedians,what's another complaint
Fox News hasabout a big summer movie?
-Jon Daly. -Uh, well,Sean Hannity was saying
That Captain Underpants wasn't sexy enough.
-(laughter)-HARDWICK: All right.
-Points.-Like, lose the underpants.
-Too much underpants,too much underpants. -Yeah.
All the characters in Cars 3 are goddamn hippie hybrids.
-HARDWICK: All right, points.-(laughter)
Now, um,I'm not a map-matician, but, um,
I think the Caribbean issomewhere close to 'Merica,
so shouldn't there be a American Pirate of the Caribbean?