#HashtagWars - #MOOvies

Monday, February 1, 2016 02/01/2016 Views: 152

Inspired by a cow's slaughterhouse escape, Alanna Ubach, Phoebe Robinson and Jonathan Kite rename popular movies after the fugitive farm animal. (2:07)

And now it's timefor tonight's Hashtag Wars.

(cheers and applause)

Last week in Queens, New York,

a cow escapedfrom a slaughterhouse

and went on the loose,

because he knewwhat was at "steak."

You're welcome.

Uh, the NYPD tried everythingto catch the cow.

They sent out tweets,like here.

They even consulted a medium,which was rare.

-Uh, well done, NYPD! Hey!-UBACH: Hey!

-HARDWICK: I know. Come on!-♪ Please, please, please.

Hey, kids. Come on, kids.

Oh, you kids.No, don't go to bed yet.

Your dad's lonely.

Your dad's lonelysince Mom moved out.

Come on, kids.The cops eventually called

an agriculturalprivate detective,

-a P.I.E.I.O, if you will.-(laughter)

Kids, come on.Your old dad'll get pizza!

-(applause and cheering)-Huh?


The script has already beenoptioned by Dairy Bruckheimer

and Steven Spielburgerto turn this into a moo-vie.

I can't stop.I literally can't stop.

So comedians, since cow punsare at full throttle right now,

tonight's hashtag is #MOOvies.

Examples might be Apocalypse Cow,

or Bridget Jones's Dairy

or While You Were Sleeping I Tried to Tip You Over.

I'm putting 60 secondson the clock.

And begin. Phoebe.

Ten Things I Hate About Moo.

-Points.-UBACH: Yeah!

Lactose the Future, starring Michael J. Cow.

Points. Fox, cow,well done. Alanna.

Honey, I Milked the Kids. -Yes, points.

Uh, Jonathan Kite.

Fantastic Four Stomachs.


-That's too... -Oh, you suckerpunched me with that one.

-That was good.-Alanna.

-My Left Hoof. -Points.

Uh, Jonathan Kite.

-Air Kud Two. -Points.

There ain't nothing in the rulebook that says a cow can't play.

Yeah. Phoebe.

-Field of Creams. -UBACH: Yeah. -Points.

But Fox would change thatto Field of Screams. Uh...


Tyler Perry Presents Why Did I Marry a Cow

When I Can Get the Milk For Free?

-All right, points.-Dude.