And, uh... now it's timeto play Is This News?
Is This News?
There's this form of attentionpolicing on social media
where people get upset abouta news site publishing a story
they don't find newsworthy,and they handle their outrage
in the mostproductive way possible:
by whimpering,bewildered, into the void,
"How or why is this news?"
So I'm gonna show you a tweet ofsomeone crying out in the dark
about a story they have deemedunfit for publication,
and for 250 points I want youto explain to them
why it is in fact newsworthy.First up,
"A water main breakis the lead story on the news.
One person is without water."
@AmericasBarbie asks,"Why is this news?"
-Ron Funches.-Uh, because it was Ariel
from The Little Mermaid.
Oh! Yeah, that'sreally important.
That's really important.
Uh, because that person is Jesus
and he has a wine tastingthis afternoon.
Wait a minute...Oh, I'm a little...
I'm sorry, I didn't...
You have to bring your own wineto the wine tasting?
He's a giver, all right? He doesn't want to take.
Hey, guys, I broughtmy own wine. Oh, Jesus,
-you're the best.-I am.
Oh, great.Next up,
"Jeremy Corbynwon't name his cat
and insteadsimply calls it 'the cat'."
@SuneiaO_o says,"Why is this news?" Ron.
Uh, because that's a dog, Chris.
Uh, because he named his son Sonand his daughter Lady Son.
Easy to remember.
Next up, "Kylie Jenner is down
to get hit in the facewith a hot dog."
-@emmaenders asks,"Why is this news? -(man whoops)
Don't "woo" that.
I know why you're "woo"ing that,and that's not okay.
I brought a hot dog...Put the hot dog away!
Why is this news?It... Because it means
she reads my letters, Chris.
Uh, because she has to findsomething to do
that her sistershaven't already done.
Next, you guys,uh, there's a cat
who looks like Adam Driverthat got adopted. Uh...
-YARD: That's so weird.-Yeah, dude.
That's so crazy.
I... I don't even know why wehave to answer why this is news.
YARD:It's totally news.
Why is this news, Ron Funches?
Uh, because that catkilled Han Solo.
All right, points.Points.
Finally, Mexicandrug lord El Chapo
had 'testicle implantfor erectile dysfunction'
while on the run.
@ogoeric asks,while laughing and crying,
"this is news because?"Jordan.
Well, because I thoughtI was donating my testicle
to a ball-less orphan.
It hurts so much to see itin front of me like that.
Uh, points. Mike.
Because Mexican doctorsare so skilled
that they can perform surgerywhile the patient
-is still running.-Yeah, points.