Extended - Make It Complicated - Harness That Power for Evil - Uncensored

Extended - Thursday, September 25, 2014 - Uncensored 09/25/2014 Views: 1,629

Writing the wrong Facebook status could bring a relationship to an end, so Nikki Glaser, Michael Kosta and Julian McCullough list updates that no significant other should see. (1:45)

MAKE IT COMPLICATED.

MAKE IT COMPLICATED.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

NOW, WRITING THE WRONG THING

ONLINE CAN END A RELATIONSHIP,

BUT WHAT IF YOU HARNESS THAT

POWER FOR EVIL AND USE IT TO END

THE RELATIONSHIP YOU WANTED OUT

OF ANYWAY BUT YOU'RE TOO LAZY TO

BE A GODDAMN GROWNUP ABOUT IT?

COMEDIANS, I WANT YOU TO COME UP

WITH AS MANY FACEBOOK STATUS

UPDATES AS YOU CAN THAT WOULD

MAKE SOMEONE BREAK UP WITH YOU.

I'M GONNA PUT 60 SECONDS ON THE

CLOCK.

LET'S BEGIN.

(BELL DINGS)

NIKKI.

>> JUST GOT A NEW PIXIE HAIRCUT.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

(BELL DINGS)

MICHAEL.

>> MY GIRLFRIEND'S MOM IS SUPER

FUCKABLE.

>> HARDWICK: OKAY, GOOD. POINTS.

(BELL DINGS)

NIKKI.

>> THREW OUT ALL MY YOGA PANTS

AND REPLACED THEM WITH ROMPERS.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

(BELL DINGS)

JULIAN.

>> DOES SEXUAL INTERCOURSE COUNT

AS CHEATING?

ASKING FOR MYSELF.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

(BELL DINGS)

YES, JULIAN AGAIN.

>> UH, HOW DO I HIDE THESE

UPDATES FROM COURTNEY?

>> HARDWICK: OKAY, POINTS.

(BELL DINGS)

NIKKI.

>> I DON'T GET NORM MACDONALD.

>> HARDWICK: OH, A-A COMIC WOULD

BREAK UP WITH YOU.

YEAH, TOTALLY.

>> BOYS LOVE NORM MACDONALD.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS, POINTS.

(BELL DINGS)

JULIAN.

>> SEEKING MINION OF LESHRAC

MAGIC CARD FROM THE ICE AGE

EXPANSION SET FOR MAGIC: THE

GATHERING.

IT'S A 5/5 BLACK DEMON WITH

TRAMPLE.

>> HARDWICK: OKAY, POINTS.

(BELL DINGS)

ALL THE GIRLS I KNOW WOULD FUCK

THE SHIT OUT OF YOU FOR THAT.

NIKKI.

>> UH, JUST HAD TO GET MY MOUTH

WIRED SHUT AFTER THAT ACCIDENT.

(AUDIENCE OOHING)

>> HARDWICK: WHAT ARE YOU OOHING

ABOUT?

>> SHE CAN'T GIVE BLOW JOBS

ANYMORE.

>> HARDWICK: YEAH. ALL RIGHT.

(BELL DINGS)

MICHAEL.

>> LOVE FOX NEWS.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS. POINTS.

(BELL DINGS)

NIKKI.

>> LETTING MYSELF GO!

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

(BELL DINGS)

MICHAEL.

>> ANY ADVICE FOR HIDING A

PREGNANCY?

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

(BELL DINGS)

JULIAN.

>> THINKING OF TRYING STAND-UP

COMEDY.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS. POINTS.