A Farewell to Alarms - Send More Irish

Tuesday, June 30, 2015 06/30/2015 Views: 641

It's the 80th anniversary of the first emergency phone number, so Jonah Ray, Emily V. Gordon and Kumail Nanjiani imagine some early 911 calls. (2:03)

AS WE GO TO OURNEXT GAME, "A FAREWELL TO

ALARMS."

WHETHER YOU'RE HAVING A HEARTATTACK, GETTING ROBBED, OR IF

YOU JUST LOST SOMETHING IN AHOLE IT SHOULDN'T BE LOST IN

911 SAVES LIVES.

IT WAS ON THIS DAY NEARLY 80YEARS AGO

THAT THE FIRST EMERGENCY PHONENUMBER WAS INTRODUCED IN LONDON

BECAUSE, PRESUMABLY, SOME PEOPLEWEREN'T DEAD OF TUBERCULOSIS

YET.

YES, WE'VE HAD A LOT OF CLASSIC911 CALLS SINCE THEN, LIKE THIS

OLD CHESTNUT.

>> SOMEBODY'S REALLY DRUNKDRIVING DOWN GRANTON ROAD.

>> WHICH WAY ARE THEY GOING?

>> THEY ARE GOING, UMMM

>> OKAY, ARE YOU BEHIND THEMOR--

>> NO, I AM THEM.

( LAUGHTER )>> THAT IS WISCONSIN!

>> CHRIS: WISCONSIN!

LET'S GO BACK TO A TIME WHEN MENWERE MEN AND PEOPLE TALKED LIKE

THIS A LOT FOR NO REASON, ANDI'D LIKE YOU TO GIVE ME SOME

OLD-TIMEY EMERGENCIES YOU MIGHTHAVE CALLED BACK THEN WHEN THE

PHONES LINES FIRST OPENED UP.

LET'S BEGIN.

EMILY.

>> I ASKED FOR A CRUMPET AND GOTA SCONE.

>> CHRIS: YES, POINTS.

KUMAIL.

>> HELP, MY BICYCLE WHEELS ARETHE SAME SIZE!

>> CHRIS: POINTS.

JONAH.

>> HELLO?

POLICE?

I FOUND A WOMAN, AND SHE'STRYING TO VOTE IN AN ELECTION.

>> CHRIS: POINTS.

( APPLAUSE )KUMAIL.

>> HEY, GUYS, I THINK GERMANY'SUP TO SOMETHING.

>> CHRIS: POINTS.

JONAH RAY.

>> MY FACTORY'S ON FIRE.

SEND MORE IRISH!

>> CHRIS: POINTS.

OR CHILDREN, WHATEVER.

>> HEY, GUYS, IT'S ME AGAIN.

I CALLED 25 YEARS AGO.

I THINK GERMANY'S UP TOSOMETHING AGAIN.

>> CHRIS: POINTS.

EMILY.

>> MY RICKETS HAVE CHOLERA.

>> CHRIS: YES, POINTS.

KUMAIL.

>> HELP, THE RACES ARE MIXING!

THE RACES ARE MIXING!

>> CHRIS: HEY, YOU GUYS AREMIXING RACES.