#HashtagWars - #BroMovies

April 26, 2017 - #BroMovies 04/26/2017 Views: 179

Maria Bamford, Ophira Eisenberg and Henry Zebrowski come up with bro-inspired movie rewrites. (2:18)

Hey, you're here, I'm here,they're here--

let's do some #HashtagWars,you guys.

-(cheering)-It's time for the #HashtagWars.

As summer creeps closer,gyms are filling up

with dudes eager to turntheir soft, doughy flesh

into hard, veiny lumps.

Uh, like this one gym-goer

who bet his bro 20 buckshe could bench 185.

Let's see if he does it.

So, you go ahead, one time now.

BAMFORD:Oh, God, oh, God. Oh, God.

-Oh, God.-ZEBROWSKI: Do it.

(farts)

-(laughter)-BAMFORD: Oh, God!

(Bamford groaning)

-Is that...-What?

-Is that blood? Is he bleeding?-Is it blood?

No, no, no, it's...it's just poop.

Like, he (bleep),he (bleep) his pants)

-Oh, he (bleep) his pants.Oh, my God. -Yeah. Yeah.

I thought I saw pink,and I was like...

No, no, no, no, no.No, he's fine.

He just can never goin there again.

(laughter)

Now the whole gym just smellslike eggs and creatine and...

(laughter)

But you know what they say:No pain, no gain,

no underwear stain, you guys.

-(audience groaning)-So in honor of this...

BAMFORD:Hey, hey.

So in honorof this swole bro video

that has pumped its wayup Instagram,

tonight's hashtag is#BroMovies.

Examples might be-- Tinker Tailor Sigma Pi

and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Drunk.

I'm gonna put 60 secondson the clock, and begin.

-Ophira. -Fiddler on the Roofie.

-Points.-(laughter)

-Maria.-Uh, Dude, Where's My Car,

And By the Way, Did I Rape Someone?

-All right, points.-(laughter)

-Ophira. -The Princess and SeƱor Frog.

-Points.-(laughter)

-Henry. -Baby's Chest Day out at the Gym.

-Points.-(laughter)

-Ophira.-Uh, Citizen Chad.

-Yes, points. Very good.-(laughter)

-Bamford. -I Know You Sexually Assaulted Me Last Summer,

-Uh, 'Cause It Was Me. -All right, points.

-Ophira. -Se7en. Maybe an Eight.

-(laughter)-All right, points.

-Zebrowski. -Bromeo Must Die.

Yes, points. Zebrowski.

You Had Me at, "Hello? Is Tyler There?"

All right, points.

Bam Bam.

Uh, An Ed Hardy's Day's Night.

HARDWICK:Yes, points.

Henry.

Forget It, Jake. It's Flavatown.

HARDWICK: All right, points.Very good.

Bamford.

The Piano, uh, Sing-Along Bar

in Phoenix Near ASU.

HARDWICK: All right, points.Very good, perfect.

All Shows

#
A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
T
U
V
W
X
Y
Z