Extended - Jimmy Buffett's Retirement Home - Uncensored

Extended - Thursday, March 9, 2017 - Uncensored 03/09/2017 Views: 5,276

Jimmy Buffett is opening his own retirement community, so Matt Braunger, Nick Simmons and Colton Dunn picture the types of nightlife activities that will be on offer there. (2:18)

Jimmy Buffett, a guy who

freaky-Friday'd with the Tommy

Bahamas, turned a couple of

catchy songs about drinking

margaritas into a multibillion-

with-a-B-dollar empire.

Well, now he's opening Latitude

Margaritaville, his own Jimmy

Buffett-themed retirement

community.

(audience whooping)

That is more reaction than that

deserves.

(laughter)

Known as Parrotheads to Florida

police, Buffett fans will be

able to crash with Jimmy after

they turn 55 and get kicked out

of Sammy Hagar's retirement

home.

(laughter, shouts)

Check out this description from

their Web site.

"Your new home in paradise

features exciting recreation,

unmatched dining and FINtastic

nightlife."

Boy, they really are putting the

"wasting away" in "wasting away

in Margaritaville."

What are some of the FINtastic

nightlife activities you might

find at this retirement home?

Nick Simmons.

>> Uh, liking piƱa coladas and

getting caught in the rain for

the very, very last time.

>> HARDWICK: Yes, points.

(laughter, groans)

Although, point of order, that

was Rupert Holmes.

I'm very old.

Uh, Colton.

>> Four words: Golden Girls Gone

Wild.

>> HARDWICK: Yes, points.

(cheering, whooping)

360-degree titty fuck!

(cheering, whooping)

Fuck it, let's do 720! Yeah!

(cheering, whooping)

>> This is the new gesture.

>> HARDWICK: Yeah, exactly.

I don't know what this is.

>> That's how you crank up that

vibrator.

>> HARDWICK: Yeah. No, you're...

you're pulling them back in like

an awning, I think is what's

happening there.

>> Oh, no, I got Chuck Norris's

balls!

(laughter)

>> It's like... it's like dough

through a pasta machine.

>> HARDWICK: Yeah, it's all...

the way through.

>> This is getting too visceral

for me.

>> HARDWICK: You don't have to

roll up Chuck Norris's balls.

They just snap back. Like, zing!

It's like a zip cord.

Matt Braunger.

>> Uh, drunk Parrotheads with

high blood pressure looking for

their lost shaker of Mrs. Dash!

>> HARDWICK: Yeah, points.

(laughter)

I love that you doubled down on

Mrs. Dash. Mrs. Dash!

>> You got to sell it.

I... I went with drunk uncle at

Thanksgiving.

You know, you know, they... they

wouldn't have salt.

They wouldn't have salt, you

see-- they'd have Mrs. Dash!

>> HARDWICK: Excuse me...

is there a... is there a Mr.

Dash in the picture? 'Cause...

>> Turn around, the butt of my

pants is cut out.

Walking away.