Once upon a time, Mitt Romneyand his haircut tweeted
about president-electand popular Sunkist soda flavor
Donald Trump "Hitting on marriedwomen? Condoning assault?
"Such vile degradations demeanour wives and daughters
and corruptAmerica's face to the world."
But after a whirlwind bromance
where the pair talked aboutthe secretary of state job
while dining on-- I don't know--probably frog legs
and bald eagle wings,I don't know what they eat--
Romney said this to reporters.
He won the general election.
What a cuck.
You couldn't actually seeTrump's lips moving
where he stuffed his handup Mitt's ass.
"I lost because it's official.
"Mr. Trump is a better personthan me, okay?
"I'm... I'm a big babywho goes poopy in his diaper,
"and Trump is my daddy.
"What the (bleep)do you people want from me?!
"I'm not enough of a monster?
"You want me to go out thereand grab a lady
"in the bathing suit areawhile drunk on caffeine?!
I have no dignity left."
All right, so clearly, clearly,Trump made Romney say all that,
so if he wants to becomesecretary of state,
he has to say that. Comedians,what are some other things
Mitt will have to admitto join Trump's cabinet?
-Janeane.-He will have to reveal
the Mormon who styleshis wigs and murkins.
-HARDWICK: Yes. Points.-(laughter)
Michael Ian Black.
Uh, he'll have to say,
"My carefully cultivated image
"as an elder statesmanof the GOP
"was actuallya tinsel-thin veneer
"I was willingto shove up my own asshole
in order to get a jobwith a man I swore to oppose."
-All right, yeah. I think...-(cheering, applause)
I mean, that's a paraphrasing,but yes, points.