Vital Peen-formation - Do You Think Boners Just Disappear?

Wednesday, October 21, 2015 10/21/2015 Views: 430

Michelle Wolf, Nikki Limo and Grace Helbig predict the next line of dialogue in clips from dubious sex education videos. (6:02)

IT'S TIME TO PLAY "VITALPEEN-FORMATION."

"VITAL PEEN-FORMATION."

THERE'S A LOT OF BAD INFORMATIONON THE INTERNET WHEN IT COMES TO

SEX.

YOUNG KIDS PROBABLY THINK THEYHAVE TO SNAPCHAT DICK PICS FOR

BITCOIN, OR GO TO SCHOOL ON THEBANG BUS, OR THAT IT'S

ACCEPTABLE TO DRAW EROTICPICTURES OF SONIC THE HEDGEHOG.

IT IS.

>> OH, NO.

>> THIS SONIC SPENDS ALL HISTIME COLLECTING [BLEEP] RINGS.

COMEDIANS, IN ORDER TO GIVE OURIMPRESSIONABLE VIEWERS SOME

USEFUL INFORMATION, I'M GOING TOSHOW YOU A CLASSIC SEX ED VIDEO,

AND, FOR 250 POINTS, YOU'REGOING TO GIVE ME THE NEXT LINE.

FIRST UP, THIS QUESTION ABOUTPREMARITAL RELATIONS.

>> WHAT IF I WANT TO HAVE SEXBEFORE I GET MARRIED?

>> WELL, I GUESS YOU JUST HAVETO BE PREPARED TO DIE.

[LAUGHING]>> Chris: ALRIGHT.

WHAT'S THE NEXT LINE, GRACE?

>> THAT'S HOW MY HUSBAND DIED,AND I DON'T MISS HIM AT ALL.

>> Chris: POINTS.

[LAUGHING]>> Chris: "BECAUSE I WASCHEATING

ON HIM WITH JESUS."

[LAUGHING]>> "WHO IS MY NEIGHBOR."

Chris: NEXT ONE.

THIS CLIP FROM "WHO AM I NOW."

>> YOU CAN ASK ME ANYTHING, GOAHEAD.

>> IT'S EMBARRASSING, BUT WHATABOUT, YOU KNOW, GETTING AN

ERECTION AT THE WRONG TIME?

>> I KNOW JUST HOW YOU FEEL.

Chris: NIKKI.

>> THERE IS NO WRONG TIME.

[LAUGHING][CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Chris: GRACE HELBIG.

>> AND LIKE YOUR TINY BONER IVANISH INTO THIN AIR.

[LAUGHING]>> Chris: WAIT, WHAT, WAIT A

MINUTE.

I'M SORRY, GRACE. DO YOU THINKBONERS JUST DISAPPEAR?

>> LIKE THAT.

>> Chris: NO THEY DON'T.

>> IT'S MAGIC.

Chris: THEY JUST HIBERNATE,THEY DON'T EXPLODE.

>> THEY EXPLODE.

>> THEY EXPLODE.

Chris: YOU'RE RIGHT.

>> WE WOULD KNOW.

>> WE'RE GIRLS.

Chris: YOU'RE RIGHT.

SORRY.

NEXT ONE, THISANTI-MASTURBATION VLOGGER.

>> WHEN YOU HAVE A FAVORITE PORNSTAR AND YOU THINK OF HER IN

YOUR HEAD, THERE'S A DEMON INTHE SPIRIT REALM ASSIGNED, A

PRINCIPALITY OR RULER ASSIGNEDTO THAT ACTRESS.

[LAUGHING]>> Chris: MICHELLE.

>> AND I SAY -- THESE DEMONS ARETHE ONLY FATHER FIGURES THESE

ACTRESSES EVER HAD.

[LAUGHING]>> Chris: POINTS.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Chris: NEXT UP THESE DIVORCED

ART TEACHER TYPES TEACHING GIRLSABOUT THEIR VAGINAS.

>> TODAY WE'RE GOING TO TALKABOUT --

>> TODAY WE'RE GOING TO TALKABOUT --

>> OH!

[LAUGHING]>> Chris: NIKKI.

>> WELCOME TO DAY CARE ATBURNING MAN.

>> Chris: POINTS.

GRACE.

>> KIDZ BOP GOT DIFFERENT.

Chris: POINTS.

>> IT TOTALLY MIGHT LOOK LIKETHAT, BUT WE CAN'T SEE.

YOU HAVE TO HAVE A MIRROR TOSEE DOWN THERE. I DON'T HAVE ANY

IDEA.

>> I'M A HUNDRED PERCENT, MINELOOKS LIKE THAT.

>> YA.

[LAUGHING]>> Chris: YA.

NEXT ONE.

THIS BOLLYWOOD-INSPIRED GUIDE TOCONDOMS!

THIS BOLLYWOOD-INSPIRED GUIDE TOCONDOMS!

>> Chris: MICHELLE.

>> WE'RE THE INDAN TELETUBBIESAND YOU CAN PUT US ON YOUR

TINKIE-WINKIE.

>> Chris: POINTS.

WELL DONE.

NEXT UP.

THIS PUBLIC PARK TROUBADOUR.

>> OUR ANUS IS A USEFUL THING,INDEED.

THE ANUS GIVES RELIEF IN TIMEOF NEED.

WE ALL HAVE AN ANUS, NO MATTERWHAT YOU'VE HEARD.

REMEMBER THAT ANUS IS THE PROPERWORD.

>> Chris: GRACE.

>> WHAT RESTRAINING ORDER? AM IRIGHT?

>> Chris: POINTS.

THEN THE REVERSE SHOT OF THEHORRIFIED CHILDREN ON THE

PLAYGROUND AND THEIR ANGRYPARENTS.

LAST ONE.

LAST ONE.

THIS LOCKER ROOMHEART-TO-HEART.

>> BEFORE WE MOVED HERE, I USEDTO GO TO A SCHOOL WHERE WE HAD

TO GO SWIMMING IN THE BARE.

I WAS SO EMBARRASSED ABOUT THESIZE OF MY PENIS THAT WE USED TO

DREAD THE DAYS WE HAD TO GOSWIMMING.

>> Chris: NIKKI.

Audience: CHOO CHOOChris: WELL PLAYED.

BEFORE THE SHOW I ASKED THEAUDIENCE TO MAKE A TRAIN NOISE

WHEN THEY FELT LIKE IT DURINGTHE SHOW.

YOU PICKED A PERFECT TIME.AUDIENCE POINTS TO YOU, MY

FRIEND.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Chris: NIKKI.

>> AND THAT'S WHEN I KNEW I HADTO GET REALLY REALLY GOOD AT

EATING [BEEP][LAUGHING]

>> Chris: POINTS.

MICHELLE.

>> JESUS, DAVE, I JUST ASKED IFWE HAD A QUIZ TOMORROW.

[LAUGHING]>> Chris: POINTS.