Extended - Rapid Refresh - Mayweather vs. Pacquiao & A Vegetarian Dino - Uncensored

Extended - Thursday, April 30, 2015 - Uncensored 04/30/2015 Views: 355

Nate Bargatze, Steve Rannazzisi and Nikki Glaser guess how Floyd Mayweather starts his day, list facts about a hipster dinosaur and learn about a British food promotion. (7:19)

RIPPED FROM TODAY'S INTERNETHEADLINES, IT'S RAPID REFRESH.

(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)THERE'S THE GRAPHIC THAT

CONNOTES THIS PART OF THE SHOW.

THIS WEEKEND, WELTERWEIGHT BOXERAND HEAVYWEIGHT BALLADEER MANNY

PACQUIAO IS TAKING ON FLOYD"MONEY" MAYWEATHER IN LAS VEHAS,

A SPECTACLE WITH ONLY SLIGHTLYLESS TESTOSTERONE THAN "FURIOUS

7."

(LAUGHTER)THE WORLD HAS BEEN WAITING FOR

THIS.

THREE YEARS AGO, TAIWANESE NEWSCREATED ONE OF THEIR BONKERS

AMAZING ANIMATIONS ABOUT THEEVENTUAL FIGHT NIGHT.

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING HAPPENSIN THE VIDEO?

A: PACQUIAO WATCHES A COCKFIGHT,B: MGM GRAND HOTEL BLOWS UP,

C: A GIANT BAG OF MONEY LANDS ONMAYWEATHER?

WHICH ONE OF THOSE?

(BELL DINGS)YES. NATE.

>> UH, WHICH...?

I'LL SAY, "A GIANT BAG OF MONEYLANDS ON MAYWEATHER."

>> HARDWICK: WELL, WE'RE ALLWINNERS, 'CAUSE IT'S ALL OF 'EM.

TAKE A LOOK.

>> OH.

>> HARDWICK: THERE'S THECOCKFIGHT.

THERE'S THAT.

AND HE'S BLOWING UP THE HOTELINSTEAD OF BEING IN THERE

FIGHTING.

AND... OH, DIDN'T MENTION...

HEY.

>> OH, MAN!

(APPLAUSE)>> HARDWICK: YEAH.

VEGAS IS WEIRD.

THAT'S HOW THEY PAY YOU.

THEY JUST FILL FILL A SACK OFGOLD, AND THEY DROP IT ON SOME

POOR BASTARD...

>> AND YOU STAY.

>> HARDWICK: YEAH?

>> WHATEVER HAPPENS IN VEGAS,YOU STAY IN VEGAS.

>> HARDWICK: YOU STAY, YEAH.

YEAH, YOU DON'T LEAVE.

>> YEAH.

>> HARDWICK: YOU DON'T LEAVE.

NOW, EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT A BOXINGFAN, YOU'VE PROBABLY SEEN

MAYWEATHER'SRELIGIOUSLY-FOLLOWED INSTAGRAM.

HERE'S A LITTLE TASTE.

UH, THIS "27 REASONS FLOYDMAYWEATHER IS THE GOD OF

INSTAGRAM" OFF OF BUZZFEED.

>> ♪ HYPNOTIZE MEWITH YOUR EYES... ♪

>> HARDWICK: NOW, TO READ THECAPTION HERE...

"THIS IS HOW I GET MY DAYSTARTED EVERY DAY!"

MR. MY LIFE IS THE SHIT.

(LAUGHTER AND GROANING)THERE HE IS TAKING... GET A

SPONGE BATH.

>> HIS MOM LOOKS GREAT.

(LAUGHTER AND GROANING)>> HARDWICK: SHUT UP! NIKKI!

(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)NO!

DON'T!

HE'S GONNA TAKE THAT SHIT OUT OFME, NOT YOU.

(LAUGHTER)MR. MAYWEATHER, I HUMBLY

APOLOGIZE FOR... NIKKI SPEAKINGOUT OF TURN, AND I HOPE YOU

UNDERSTAND WHY I HAVE TO GIVEHER POINTS.

(LAUGHTER)I'M SORRY.

(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)I THINK IT'S PRETTY RAD TO GET A

SPONGE BATH FROM A SULTRY LADYTO THE SULTRY SOUNDS OF "I LIKE"

BY GUY.

IT'D NOT WHAT I LIKE, BUT IT'SBETTER THAN A PACQUIAO TRACK, I

GUESS.

UH, COMEDIANS, IF MAYWEATHERSTARTS HIS DAY LIKE THIS, WHAT

DOES THE ECCENTRIC MILLIONAIREDO NEXT? NATE?

>> UH, HE LET'S JUSTIN BIEBERCOME UP FOR AIR.

(LAUGHTER AND GROANING)(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)

>> HARDWICK: OKAY, AGAIN, AGAIN,FLOYD...

FLOYD...

FLOYD... MR. MAY...

FIRST OF ALL, POINTS.

FLOYD...

(LAUGHTER)MR. MAYWEATHER, I AM SO SORRY.

I-I TAKE NO RESPON...

YOU KNOW HOW AT THE BEGINNINGOF... SOMETIMES THEY'LL BE,

LIKE, "THE OPINIONS, WE'RE,LIKE, DO NOT EXPRESS THOSE..."

THE, THE, THE. I AM...

THIS IS NOT MY OPINION.

(LAUGHTER AND GROANING)THAT IS NOT OPINION.

UH, MY FACE IS MALLEABLE ANDPUNCHABLE.

AND YOU ARE A TITAN, AND, UH,I'M SORRY.

I'M SORRY FOR THE HEINOUSBEHAVIOR YOU'VE SEEN HERE.

STEVE, I'M SURE YOU'VE GOTSOMETHING NICE.

>> WELL, HE PUTS ON HIS PANDASKIN UNDIES WHICH FEEL GREAT ON

HIS "D."

>> HARDWICK: OKAY.

THAT ACTUALLY MIGHT BE...

>> YEAH.

PROBABLY NOT GREAT ON HIS"A"...

>> HARDWICK: NO.

>> ...BUT GREAT ON THE "D."

>> HARDWICK: AND ALSO,IRONICALLY, THE MOST ACTION THAT

PANDA HAD ITS ENTIRE LIFE.

(LAUGHTER)POINTS TO STEVE.

UH, MOVING ON.

THE INTERNET'S NEWEST HEARTTHROBISN'T A WISPY MEMBER OF A

BRITISH BOY BAND OR A CAT THATCAN MEOW THE "CLARISSA EXPLAINS

IT ALL" THEME SONG.

(LAUGHTER)OH, NIKKI, DID YOU WANT TO HAVE

AN ANSWER, TOO?

>> YEAH.

>> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT...

OH, 'CAUSE YOU SAID THE FIRSTTHING...

>> I REALLY, I KNOW, I TOTALLY,I'M SORRY.

YOU-YOU DID THE RIGHT THING.

>> HARDWICK: GET THE MAYWEATHERBULLSHIT BACK HERE.

>> I REALLY LIKED MINE.

>> HARDWICK: COME ON.

NIKKI GLASER?

>> I'M PRETTY SURE HE RETURNEDTHE FAVOR AND GAVE HER A FACIAL.

>> HARDWICK: OKAY, POINTS.

POINTS.

(LAUGHTER, WHOOPING)>> HARDWICK: THERE'S NOTHING...

I MEAN...

(APPLAUSE)MOVING ON, THE INTERNET'S NEWEST

HEARTTHROB ISN'T A WISPYMEMBER OF A BRITISH BOY BAND

OR A CAT THAT CAN MEOW THE"CLARISSA EXPLAINS IT ALL" THEME

SONG...

(LAUGHTER)GOD, THAT WOULD BE RAD.

IT'S AN ADORABLY, NEWLYDISCOVERED DINOSAUR CALLED THE

CHILESAURUS, WHICH IS THIS.

NOW, ONE AMAZING FACT ABOUT THISLITTLE EXTINCT NUBBIN, IS THAT

DESPITE LOOKING LIKE AFEROCIOUS RAPTOR, HE WAS

ACTUALLY A VEGETARIAN.

OH... SO HE WAS ANNOYING.

UH... NO, I'M KIDDING.

I'M KIDDING.

(LAUGHTER)UNIVERSITY OF BIRMINGHAM TWEETED

THIS PHOTO AND IT LEAD TO MEMESLIKE THIS... RIGHT HERE.

(LAUGHTER)"I ONLY EAT VEGETABLES.

ALL MY FOOD IS UNDERGROUND."

SO HE'S LESS FROM JURASSIC PARKAND MORE FROM HIGHLAND PARK.

THAT'S A LOCAL REFERENCE...

FROM LOS ANGELES, AND I FEEL BADIF YOU DON'T GET IT.

UH, BUT...

(APPLAUSE)EVERYONE'S GOT A HIGHLAND PARK

OR A PARK SLOPE SOMEWHERE.

SOMETHING WITH A PARK AND ABUNCH OF HIPSTERS.

COMEDIANS, AS THE PALEONTOLOGISTWHO DISCOVERED THE WORLD'S FIRST

HIPSTER DINOSAUR, GIVE ME SOMEFACTS ABOUT THIS STRANGE

SPECIES.

STEVE?

>> HE SADLY WENT EXTINCT BECAUSEHIS FIXED-GEAR BICYCLE COULDN'T

OUTRUN ANY PREDATORS.

>> HARDWICK: YEAH, POINTS.

(APPLAUSE)NIKKI?

>> HE, UH, HE HATES "THE BIGBANG THEORY" YET HE DIED IN IT.

>> HARDWICK: OH, SO GOOD!

POINTS.

(BRITISH ACCENT): IT'S NOW TIMEFOR A BREAKING NEWS UPDATE FROM

OUR CONTINUOUS 24-HOUR COVERAGEOF ROYAL BABY WATCH 2015.

(CHEERING)YES.

I KNOW.

ALL RIGHT, SHUT UP!

SHUT UP!

SHUT UP, YOU DAFT CUNTS!

(NORMAL VOICE): KATE MIDDLETON,THE DUCHESS OF CAMBRIDGE, IS DUE

TO GIVE BIRTH ANY DAY NOW TO ANHEIR WHO WILL ONE DAY DRIVE THE

WHITE WALKERS NORTH OF THE WALLFOR GOOD.

(APPLAUSE, CHEERING)IN HONOR OF THIS, WHAT NEW

BRITISH FOOD PROMOTION ISHAPPENING?

A) A HUMAN BREAST MILK ICE CREAMCALLED ROYAL BABY GAGA?

B) SUPERMARKETS ARE GIVING AWAYFREE BABY CARROTS?

OR, C) A BREAKFAST CEREAL CALLEDPLACENT-O'S?

(AUDIENCE GROANS)(BELL DINGS)

>> WHOA.

>> HARDWICK: WHICH YOU KNOWWOULD BE IN A BAG AT THE BOTTOM

OF THE...

NATE?

>> UH, I'M GOING TO GO A)A HUMAN BREAST MILK ICE CREAM

CALLED ROYAL BABY GAGA.

>> HARDWICK: YES, DELICIOUSLY,THE ANSWER IS "A."

>> WOW.

>> HARDWICK: UH, THERE IS IS.

BRITISH ICE CREAMERY THELICKTATOR.

>> EW.

>> HARDWICK: THE LICKTATOR ISRELEASING ROYAL BABY GAGA MADE

FROM REAL BREAST MILK IN HOPESOF INSPIRING THE DUCHESS OF

CAMBRIDGE AND OTHER MOTHERSWORLDWIDE, UH, OF THE BENEFITS

OF BREASTFEEDING.

SO, COMEDIANS...

(LAUGHTER)CAN YOU EAT THE ICE CREAM?

LIKE, IS IT SERVED LIKE, IN ABOOB?

LIKE YOU...

>> YOU CAN'T EAT IT IN PUBLIC.

(LAUGHTER)>> HARDWICK: 100 POINTS TO NATE

FOR THAT.

(APPLAUSE)BUT THANKFULLY NOW YOU CAN

POST YOURSELF EATING PICTURE OFIT ON INSTAGRAM.

THEY'RE WIDENING THEIR RULES.

BUT I WOULD LIKE YOU GUYS TOGIVE ME THE NAME OF AN ICE CREAM

FLAVOR MADE FROM HUMAN BREASTMILK.

NATE?

>> UM, MOM-SHMALLOW.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

STEVE?

>> OREOLA AND CREAM.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

EXCELLENT.

WELL DONE.

NIKKI?

>> IT'S NOT YOUR MAMA'S ICE...

YEAH, IT IS, ACTUALLY.

IT IS.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.