#HashtagWars - #BecauseIDied

Monday, February 2, 2015 02/02/2015 Views: 755

In honor of a depressing Super Bowl commercial about mortality, Nick Kroll, Seth Morris and Jon Daly describe the world after their untimely deaths. (2:53)

IT'S TIME FOR THE HASHTAGWARS.

A LOT OF THE COMMERCIALSFEATURED LAST NIGHT DURING

THE BIG GAME WHICH -- 115MILLION PEOPLE WATCHED --

DECIDED TO GO SENTIMENTAL INTONE, CHOOSING TO TUG OR

PUNCH AT YOUR HEART STRINGSLIKE THE COCA-COLA "MAKE IT

HAPPY."

THE BUDWEISER LOST PUPPY AD.

BUT THERE WAS ONE ADVERTISER WHOCHOSE, FOR SOME REASON, A

DISTURBINGLY DIFFERENTAPPROACH IN THEIR AD.

NATIONWIDE INSURANCE CHOSETO APPEAL TO THE WIDELY

SOUGHT AFTER DEMOGRAPHIC OFDEAD CHILDREN 18 TO 49

MONTHS.

>> I'LL NEVER LEARNED TO FLY.

OR TRAVEL THE WORLD WITH MYBEST FRIEND.

AND I WON'T EVER GET MARRIED.

I COULDN'T GROW UP BECAUSE IDIED FROM AN ACCIDENT.

>> CHRIS: WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?

WHAT?

WHAT -- THANKS FOR THEBUZZKILL.

I FEEL LIKE THEY SHOULD TAKETHE NATIONWIDE JINGLE AND DROP

IT INTO A MINOR KEY TO MATCH THETONE OF THE CAMPAIGN.

NATIONWIDE IS ON YOUR SIDE.

>> CHRIS!

>> CHRIS: YES NICK!

>> YOU STOLE MY MINOR KEY JINGLEJOKE.

>> SO SORRY.

NATIONWIDE MY DAUGHTER DIED.

>> CHRIS: 100 POINTS FOR JONDALY.

>> YOU REALLY DID HAVE AMINOR KEY.

>> CHRIS: SO IN HONOR OF THECOMMERCIAL EVERYONE'S TALKING

ABOUT, TONIGHT'S HASHTAG IS#BecaseIDied.

#BecaseIDied.

SO EXAMPLES -- THIS IS GONNA BEFUN.

EXAMPLES MIGHT BE, I'LL NEVERCONTRACT THE MEASLES AT A THEME

PARK.

BECAUSE I DIED.

OR I'LL NEVER HAVE TO WATCHMY MOM TWEET ABOUT HOW HOT

DAN PATRICK IS BECAUSE IDIED.

I'M GONNA PUT 60 SECONDS ON THECLOCK AND GO!

YES, JON DALY.

>> I'LL NEVER GET TO SEEWHAT THESE VINE STARS DO

WITH THEIR CONSIDERABLETALENT.

>> CHRIS: POINTS.

NICK.

>> THE FUTURE OF HUMANITY ISSAFE.

(LAUGHTER)

>> CHRIS: POINTS.

JON.

>> I'LL NEVER GET TO USE THEHASHTAG NO ROBO TO PROVE

THAT I'M NOT ATTRACTED TO AHOT MALE ROBOT.

>> CHRIS: POINTS.

SETH.

>> I'LL NEVER GET TO HAVESEX WITH A COACHELLA

BATHROOM AND JOIN THE PILED-HIGHCLUB.

>> CHRIS: POINTS.

NICK.

>> SERIOUSLY, I WAS PLANNINGA SERIES OF STORMS THAT

WOULD ATTACK MOST MAJORCITIES LEADING TO TOTAL

ANARCHY AND CHAOS AMONG ALLHUMANITY.

>> CHRIS: GOOD, POINTS.

JON DALY.

>> I'LL NEVER GET TO SEE JOHNNYDEPP TOP HIS WHIMISICALLY

PLAYFUL TURN AT MORTECAI.

>> CHRIS: POINTS. NICK KROLL.

>> I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO TELL MYFAMILY I NEVER REALLY LOVED

THEM.

>> CHRIS: POINTS.

SETH.

>> I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TOBUY CLEAN URINE FROM A KID

SO I CAN PASS MY UPSDRIVER'S TEST.

>> CHRIS: POINTS.