-It's time for our Hashtag Wars.-(applause and cheering)
Well, I'm glad...Thank you.
You know, I appreciate it whenyou appreciate these things.
We work hard on this (bleep).
-(cheering, applause)-Fire up those...
All right, all right, I get it.
Uh, fire up those grillsand daddy issues,
'cause this Sundayis Father's Day.
But it's not enoughto just buy an embarrassing tie
or some golf-relatedbull (bleep).
This is the man who carried youon his shoulders,
uh, pulled your finger, taughtyou jokes that can be bad.
Please make sureto go the extra mile this year
and tell him how you feel
the only way he'll understand--with song.
That is why tonight's hashtagis #DadSongs.
Examples might be, uh...
(to "I Will Always Love You"):♪ And I...
♪ Will always
♪ Love go-hoo-hoo-olf...
-Uh... and...-(whooping, applause)
And also,bitch better have my khakis.
-(laughter)-All right, in 60 seconds...
and begin.Matt Walsh.
"I Fought the Lawnand the Lawn Won."
Yes, points. Very good.
-"Stairway to Hooters."-Points.
-Paul F.-"My Neck, My Back,
My Bald Spot and My Hernia."
-Matt Walsh.-"Propane in the Membrane."
-Points!-(laughter, whooping, applause)
Paul F. Tompkins.
(to "Every Breath You Take"):♪ I was watching that.
♪ You can't always eatwhat you want. ♪
♪ And I am telling you...
jokes youwill roll your eyes at.
-Yes, points. Very good.-(laughter)
-Paget.-♪ Stand by your van.
Yeah, points. Very good.
Uh, Paul F. Tompkins.
"I'm All About That Bass,You Need to Turn It Down,
"I Could Hear It Two Houses Away
Before I pulledinto the Driveway."
-All right, points. Perfect.-(laughter)