Yes! Uh, this week a seriesof overdue repairs got underway
in New York City's Penn Station,
the busiest transit hubin the entire country.
The delays are predictedto be so heinous,
New York's governor has alreadydeclared it
the "summer of hell."Very subtle.
Train service in some areasreduced by 20%,
meaning commuterswill waste more time
trapped in oven-hotsubway stations,
inhaling the stenchof evaporated urine,
while tryingto avoid eye contact
with the hobowho's cranking it. Uh...
So, you know, New Yorkers,there... there's this kind of,
like, one-sided warwith New York and Los Angeles.
So, New Yorkers talk a lotof (bleep) about Angelenos,
but seeing as thoughthey're faced
with some adversity right now,I would just like to say:
Suck my (bleep), Big Crapple,suck on it,
put your mouth right here!
While you're waitingfor your delayed trains...
-(cheering, whooping)-Wait a minute! Stop it!
Shut up! I'm not donebeing fake mad yet!
While you're waitingfor your delayed trains,
I'm gonna be sitting in my sweetair-conditioned car on the 405,
cruising at a sweet15 miles per hour
while cranking it.
Comedians, what's your tipto help New Yorkers cope
with the Summer of Hell?
-Arj Barker. -Let's see, theycould take their mind off it
by playing a fun game of WhatJust Bit My Leg? Rat or Human?
-All right, points.-(laughter)
-Or some hybrid.-And they could...
they could even follow it upwith What Kind of Poo Is That?
-Dog or Human?-We don't know.
We may never know.
Teller, do you wantto weigh in on this one?
-(audience whooping)-All right. Very good.
Points for that.