Rapid Refresh - An R-Rated Teddy Bear

Wednesday, January 21, 2015 01/21/2015 Views: 306

Emily Heller, Rene Gube and Rory Scovel guess which movie inspired a teddy bear company's latest inappropriate toy. (2:42)

>> Chris: RIPPED FROM TODAY'SINTERNET HEADLINES, IT'S RAPID

REFRESH.

(APPLAUSE)

>> Chris: VERMONT TEDDY BEARCOMPANY, AKA A LAZY MAN'S BUILD-

A-BEAR, THEY ARE COMING UNDERFIRE THIS WEEK FOR WHICH OF THE

FOLLOWING MOVIE-THEMED BEARS.

A, AN AMERICAN SMIPER BEARWAY SNIPER RIFLE.

B, A 50 SHADES OF GREY BEARIN A SUIT AND HANDCUFFS.

C, A SELMA MARCHING MARTINLUTHER KING, JR. BEAR.

WELL, DON'T CLAP YET BUTJUST KNOW THAT ONE OF THOSE

IS REAL.

EMILY HELLER.

>> I'M GOING TO SAY, I HOPEIT'S B.

IF ONLY BECAUSE THAT'S NOTBASED ON REAL PEOPLE.

>> Chris: OKAY.

LET'S FIND OUT.

THE CORRECT ANSWER IS B, 50SHADES OF GREY BEAR.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> THAT WAS BASED ON REALPEOPLE.

>> Chris: FIRST OF ALL, THE BEARLACKS SUPERSURPRISED TO BE

CHRISTIAN GREY.

ME?

SO COMEDIANS, GIVE US A BETTERLINE TO SELL THE 50 SHADES

OF GREY BEAR TO ITS INTENDEDAUDIENCE.

EMILY HELLER.

>> THE SEX WILL BE BEARLYCONSENUAL

>> Chris: POINTS. OH, THAT'SPERFECT.

>> GOD DAMN.

>> Chris: EMILY IS OUT FORBLOOD, RORY, YOU BETTER SAY

GOOD-BYE TO YOUR FAMILY RIGHT[BLEEP]ING NOW.

>> BYE, FAMILY.

I LOVE YOU.

I DID, I DID LOVE YOU.

>> Chris: RENE.

>> YOU'VE READ THE BOOKS,NOW [BLEEP] THE BEAR.

>> Chris: YEAH, POINTS.

POINTS.

>> [BLEEP] THAT BEAR.

>> Chris: I FEEL LIKE YOU --THAT NEEDS LIKE A TV ANNOUNCER

VOICE, LIKE YOU'VE READ THEBOOKS, NOW [BLEEP] THE BEAR.

IN THE OLD DAYS WE [BLEEP]REAL BEARS.

YOU GODDAMN KIDS TODAY[BLEEP] YOUR FAKE BEARS IN

SUITS.

BACK IN THE OLD DAY, WE HAD TOMAKE A BEAR FOR A SUIT, PUT IT

ON HIM, TAKE HIS PANTS OFF, ANDTHEN [BLEEP] HIM.

IT WAS A PROCESS.

THINGS WERE BETTER BACK THEN.

RORY.

>> COME ON, SHERYL, TREATYOURSELF.

>> Chris: POINTS, YEAH.

BY THE WAY, RORY, YOU LOOK LIKE50 SHADES OF GREY BEAR.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: WELL DONE. THAT THEEND OF RAPID REFRESH.