What's Your Emergency? - Most Likely Very Drunk

Tuesday, March 22, 2016 03/22/2016 Views: 94

After seeing stock photos of people on the phone, Jenny Johnson, Cameron Esposito and Rhea Butcher imagine the emergency situations they're calling about. (3:10)

It is time to playWhat's Your Emergency?

What's Your Emergency?

As we've establishedtime and time again here

on our little program,uh, whomever is in charge

of selectingwhat stock photos are for sale

is most likely very drunk.

For instance, when you searchfor "phone call"

most of the stock photoslook like

some kind of goddamn emergency.So, comedians,

I'm gonna show youone such stock photo,

and for 250 pointsI want you to give me a line

from its accompanying 911 call.

First up, this happy couple.This happy couple.


Hello, 911, we're doinga Scarface role play

and I would likea realistic police raid.


They really are.


Yeah, uh, 911,my wife and I are stuck

in the first two hoursof a David O. Russell movie.


Next up, thisworkplace accident.

This workplace accident here.


Yeah, uh, 911, I've beenpromoted, like, ten times

and I still make lessthan this guy.

Points. Points.


Hello, 911, I just

bought Oscar Pistorious' legson craigslist.

Wait a minute.

I'm sorry, Jenny,are-are you sure

you didn't buy that on legslist?

-Oh...-Come on. -No, no!


Guys, we can make fun of him,he did a bad thing.

Next up, these (bleep) clowns.

What are they...Cameron.

Hello, 911...

we've been marooned.

Oh... oh, my God.

Goddamn it. Points.

Yes, yes, yes, points.

Points. Oh, my God damn it.

-'Cause it's red.-HARDWICK: Yeah, I know!

'Cause it's red, Chris.

-I know. -BUTCHER: I get it.-Do you get it?

-BUTCHER: I get it, I get it.-It's red... -All right,

that one... that one got to memore than I thought...

All right, next up,this office pet.

This office pet.


No, I said"flaming hot Cheetos."

All right, points.Points.


Our Scarface role playhas gotten out of control.

Points.Oh, I love the arc on that.

I love the arc on that.

Finally, this rotary phone user.


Oh, my God, 911,we were just messing around

and he got in the hatand he disappeared.



You better bring a warren-t.

Huh? Because rabbitsare a warren of...

You laughed at so many puns!

He's calling the cops, theywould have to bring a warren-t!

(bleep) you, you're wrong!You're wrong! No, you're wrong!

No bunny gets you like I do.

Thank you.

You know, you love mea hare more than they do.