It is time to playWhat's Your Emergency?
What's Your Emergency?
As we've establishedtime and time again here
on our little program,uh, whomever is in charge
of selectingwhat stock photos are for sale
is most likely very drunk.
For instance, when you searchfor "phone call"
most of the stock photoslook like
some kind of goddamn emergency.So, comedians,
I'm gonna show youone such stock photo,
and for 250 pointsI want you to give me a line
from its accompanying 911 call.
First up, this happy couple.This happy couple.
Hello, 911, we're doinga Scarface role play
and I would likea realistic police raid.
They really are.
Yeah, uh, 911,my wife and I are stuck
in the first two hoursof a David O. Russell movie.
Next up, thisworkplace accident.
This workplace accident here.
Yeah, uh, 911, I've beenpromoted, like, ten times
and I still make lessthan this guy.
Hello, 911, I just
bought Oscar Pistorious' legson craigslist.
Wait a minute.
I'm sorry, Jenny,are-are you sure
you didn't buy that on legslist?
-Oh...-Come on. -No, no!
Guys, we can make fun of him,he did a bad thing.
Next up, these (bleep) clowns.
What are they...Cameron.
we've been marooned.
Oh... oh, my God.
Goddamn it. Points.
Yes, yes, yes, points.
Points. Oh, my God damn it.
-'Cause it's red.-HARDWICK: Yeah, I know!
'Cause it's red, Chris.
-I know. -BUTCHER: I get it.-Do you get it?
-BUTCHER: I get it, I get it.-It's red... -All right,
that one... that one got to memore than I thought...
All right, next up,this office pet.
This office pet.
No, I said"flaming hot Cheetos."
All right, points.Points.
Our Scarface role playhas gotten out of control.
Points.Oh, I love the arc on that.
I love the arc on that.
Finally, this rotary phone user.
Oh, my God, 911,we were just messing around
and he got in the hatand he disappeared.
You better bring a warren-t.
Huh? Because rabbitsare a warren of...
You laughed at so many puns!
He's calling the cops, theywould have to bring a warren-t!
(bleep) you, you're wrong!You're wrong! No, you're wrong!
No bunny gets you like I do.
You know, you love mea hare more than they do.