#HashtagWars - #MyFinalTweetWillBe

Wednesday, October 12, 2016 10/12/2016 Views: 341

Russell Peters, Erinn Hayes and Yassir Lester prepare for the end by tweeting their last words. (1:35)

it's time to playtonight's #HashtagWars.

(cheering, applause)

When Twitter was created,we were all very excited

for a new way to share our ideasand connect with each other,

until the Twitter trolls showedup to ruin our good, clean fun.

So now we're forcedto share our timelines

with sexist trolls,racist trolls,

grammar Nazis, real Nazis.

-(laughter)-It is enough...

it is enough to make you yearnfor the end-- of Twitter.

But that is why tonight'shashtag is #MyFinalTweetWillBe.

Examples of this might be:Did you know you can tweet

from the insideof an alligator's mouth?

And-- Look out, Secret Service,you're about to get pranked!

I'm gonna put 60 secondson the clock, and begin.

-Erinn.-Hang on.

I'm taking my Galaxy 7off speaker.

HARDWICK:All right, points.


Picking up a couchon craigslist.

HARDWICK:Yes, points. Russell Peters.

Got a great dealfrom Malaysian Airlines.

HARDWICK:All right, I will give you...

(audience exclaiming)

...points, points for that.

Stretching the audience'sboundaries

of what they'recomfortable with.


What's a "check engine"light mean.

HARDWICK:All right, points.


-Can I pet your gorilla.-HARDWICK: Points.

-Russell.-Finally. Oh.

Chilling in the bathtubabout to make some toast.

HARDWICK:All right, points.

Russell, Russell.

That would be, um, watch me showthis cop how strong I am.

HARDWICK (laughing):All right, points.


Let's find out if Red Bullreally gives you wings.

HARDWICK:All right. Points.


-Sushi doesn't go bad right?Lol. -HARDWICK: Nope.



-(bleep) fish rattlesnake.-HARDWICK: All right, points.