Modern Grammy Categories

Tuesday, December 6, 2016 12/06/2016 Views: 139

The list of nominees for the 2017 Grammys inspires Sam Morril, Janelle James and Mike Lawrence to create updated awards categories. (1:53)

Okay, the Grammy nominationswere announced today,

and leading the packwith nine nods is

the luminous, perfect, sun-madehuman on earth, Beyoncé!

This is very great newsfor music fans,

and also late-night comedyshow hosts

who can counton an audience going nuts

every timethey hear the word "Beyoncé."

-Beyoncé. See?-(cheers and applause)


The fact that Bae got top honorswas a big "No, duh!"

But there were... there weresome surprises in the mix,

like the fact thatthe Suicide Squad soundtrack

-got three nominations,suggesting that a... -(cheering)

-Uh, I don't know. Uh...-(laughter)

This might suggest thatGrammy voters are 19-year-old

Piercing Pagoda employees who...

"Don't have to call you 'Dad'just 'cause you married my mom,

Thom with an 'H.'"

-(laughter)-"Or is it 'Thom?'

You don't own me!"

Also a surprise wasa nomination from

the streaming-only release Coloring Book

-from Chance the Rapper,who's... -(cheers and applause)

Yeah. Oh,you like Chance the Rapper.

Very... way more successful

than his twin brother,Chance, the DMV Employee.

-He's much...-(laughter)

This is a very progressive movefor the Grammys.

So, comedians, nowthat CDs are just those things

that Dad keeps in his Prius,and records

are those things that hipsterscollect in lieu of having

a personality,what are some more...?

-(laughter)-Oh, man.

I'm gonna get (bleep) railedfor that.

You know, vinyl istechnically better than...

Yeah, I know, it's fine.Records are fine.

-(bleep) off. Uh...-(laughter)

What are some more updated,modern Grammys categories?


Best white girl acoustic guitarversion of Rihanna songs.

-HARDWICK: Yeah, yeah. Points.-(laughter)

-Points. Sung in a coffeehouse.-(applause)

-Sam Morril.-A reverse

in memoriam for rappersstill alive over 40.

-(laughter) -HARDWICK: Yeah.That's a great idea. Points.

-(applause)-Very good. Very good.

Mike Lawrence.

The Sting award

for annoying musicianyour mom wants to (bleep).