The Internet offers a wide rangeof subscription services
that ship you a big boxfull of stuff every month.
Of course there's Loot Crate--great one.
Ships nerd culture collectiblesto geeks like me.
There's Birchbox, which sendsout a bundle of beauty products
to geeks like me.
Then there's Bate Crate,which has curated
an array of suppliesfor the avid masturbator.
(cheers and applause)
I-I'm really good at it.
I'm really good at it.
I'm so good at it.
Well, since it's 2017
and absolutely everythingis politicized
or something we can jerk off to,
now President Trump has his own.
Introducing the Big League Box.Um...
(audience groans, laughs)
I know.That's not Trump's euphemism
for Raquel Welch's vagina.
It is a new subscription service
offered by the Trump/Pencereelection campaign.
Yes, the reelection campaign.
We're in an unending hellof constant campaigning.
It never ends,and for the nice price
of $69 per month-- what?--
you'll be sent"a handpicked bundle
"of exclusive and vintage
official Donald J. Trumpmerchandise."
Uh, feels appropriate from a man
who gets his wivesthrough the mail.
So, comedians,what is something...
What's something you'd find inDonald Trump's Big League Box?
-(bell dings)-Sebastian Bach.
A Chachi tchotchke.
Yes, points. Very good.
But, like, in a pouch.
In a pretty pouch.
That's farm to table.
-A Fleshlight mini.-Yes, points.
It's about time.