#HashtagWars - #MarriageAdviceIn3Words

Monday, September 14, 2015 09/14/2015 Views: 450

Chris got engaged, so Seth Green, Craig Ferguson and Greg Proops speak from experience and offer their tips on how to navigate the trickier parts of wedded bliss. (3:08)

IT'S NOW TIME

FOR THE #HASHTAGWARS.

(APPLAUSE)THIS IS A VERY BIG WEEKEND.

I'M PROUD TO ANNOUNCE THAT@MIDNIGHT WON AN EMMY OVER

THE WEEKEND WHICH IS-- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Chris: WE GOT AN EMMYAWARD.

AND THEN I ALSO GOTTEN ENGAGED.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)I GOT ENGAGED.

I KNOW.

>> HEY.

>> CAN I SAY ONETHING?

FIRST OF ALL, CONGRATULATIONSTWICE OVER,

AND ACTUALLY A THIRDCONGRATULATIONS FOR THE

CREEPIEST PICTURE OF YOU IHAVE EVER SEEN OF YOU IN MY

LIFE.

YOU'RE A HANDSOME YOUNG MAN, ANDLOOK AT THAT. "HEY, HEY, YOU

SEEN MY LADY? YEAH!"

>> Chris: THAT'S EXACTLYWHAT IT IS. WHAT I THINK THAT

IS IS SORT OF LIKE, "SHE'S WAYOUT OF MY LEAGUE."

>> YEAH.

>> Chris: YEAH THAT IS MY--

>> SHE KIND OF IS THOUGH.

>> Chris: SHE REALLY IS.

I COMPLETELY--THIS IS MYGIRLFRIEND, LYDIA HEARST.

THIS WILL BE THE FIRSTHEARST WEDDING IN HISTORY TO

INCLUDE THINK GEEK ON THEWEDDING REGISTRY.

I'M VERY EXCITED ABOUT THAT.

WE WENT TO THE EMMYS, I TOOKHER TO THE CHATEAU MARMONT

AFTERWARDS AND SAID THERE'S ANAFTERPARTY HERE, BUT THEN THE

AFTERPARTY--I HAD THEM JUSTTHROW WILDFLOWERS ALL OVER THE

ROOM AND I PROPOSED TO HERAND SHE SAID YES

AND NOT "POINTS," WHICH WASKIND OF DISAPPOINTING.

THAT WAS THE ONE OPPORTUNITY SHE COULD HAVE HAD.

(APPLAUSE)>> Chris: BUT YOU KNOW,

COMEDIANS, YOU GUYS ARE ALLMARRIED.

I RESPECT ALL OF YOU.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECTFROM THIS.

SO THAT IS WHY TONIGHT'SHASHTAG IS

#MARRIAGEADVICEIN3WORDS.

#MARRIAGEADVICEIN3WORDS

I DON'T WANT KNOW WHY YOUARE ALREADY UPSET ABOUT

THAT.

THIS COULD BE GOOD ADVICEYOU COULD TAKE INTO YOUR OWN

LIVES.

THAT'S VERY JUDGEY OF YOU.

EXAMPLES MIGHT INCLUDE: OLIVEGARDEN HONEYMOON OR ROBERT

DURST FAN, OR NOT DYING ALONE.

I'M GOING TO PUT 60 SECONDSON THE CLOCK, STARTING NOW.

CRAIG FERGUSON.

>> OPEN TO ANAL.

(LAUGHTER)YEAH!

YEAH!

COME ON, YEAH!

>> Chris: SETH.

>> REMEMBER HER NAME.

>> Chris: POINTS.

GREG PROOPS.

>> ASK KIM DAVIS.

>> Chris: POINTS, SETH GREEN.

>> LOCK BATHROOM DOOR.

>> Chris: POINTS.

>> SMELL MY FINGER.

>> Chris: POINTS.

>> THAT'S NOT EVEN A THING.

THAT'S NOT EVEN-- I JUSTHAVEN'T SAID THAT IN A WHILE

IT WAS THREE WORDS.

>> Chris: AM I ASKING MYFUTURE WIFE TO SMELL MY

FINGER?

THAT WOULD BE SO WEIRD.

ALL RIGHT.

>> NO, I MEANT SMELL MYFINGER.

>> Chris: POINTS, SETH.

>> EVENTUALLY YOU'LL DIE.

>> Chris: OKAY, POINTS.

MR. PROOPS.

>> GOT A SISTER?

>> Chris: YEAH, POINTS.

CRAIG FERGUSON.

>> DENY, DENY, DENY.

>> Chris: YES, POINTS.