President Trump will not beattending this year's
White HouseCorrespondents Dinner because
-he's taking his balland going home. -(laughter)
He tweeting this weekend,
"Please wish everyone welland have a great evening!"
Which is literally the nicestthing he's ever tweeted.
-(laughter and groaning)-Or thought or said.
The playful annual banquetof politicians, journalists
and entertainers has been aroundsince before the days of
President Warren G. Harding
and Vice PresidentNate Dogg Calhoun.
(laughter, applause & cheering)
Here they are in a file photoabout to regulate Wall Street.
Trump's decision is unusual,
but other presidents haveskipped the event in the past.
JFK in 1962
to protest the exclusionof women from the press corps,
Reagan in 1981 followingan assassination attempt,
and Bush in 2003 'cause
he locked himselfin the Lincoln bathroom,
He's trying to get that door.
I love that tiling.
Comedians, Trump's made a habit
of disregardingpresidential traditions.
What's he going to flout next?Slink.
I think this timeTrump is gonna defy tradition
by not lastingthe whole four years in office.
HARDWICK:All right, yeah, points.
-It's very possible.-(cheers and applause)
It's very possible.
He's not gonna pardontwo turkeys.
-He's gonna eattwo turkeys alive. -(laughter)
-HARDWICK: All right.-SLINK JOHNSON: Ah!
I think he's gonna changethe lyrics
of "America the Beautiful" to"America, the seven out of ten.
-Put some..."-(laughter, applause & cheering)
HARDWICK: Ah. "America,the seven out of ten.
-I'd still stick it in, but,you know." -PELUSO: Yeah.
-(laughter) -Put some fake titson her, make it nine out of ten.
-HARDWICK: Yeah, all right.-I don't know why
-he's Italianall of a sudden. -Hey.
-Hey! -Hey. -HARDWICK: Hey,I'm-a President-a Trump
-over here.-I know. I know.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.-BENSON: I like the tits yuge.
-Hey! -HARDWICK: Hey!-Hey!
-Oh. -HARDWICK: Come on!-(laughter)
-(applause and cheering)-Oh!
HARDWICK:By the way,
our good friendAnthony Atamanuik,
whose performed his incredibleTrump impression
on our showon countless occasions,
has volunteeredto attend in POTUS's stead.
A lot of peoplesupport the idea,
including Mark freaking Hamill,so let's make this happen.
Tweet at @whca, use the hashtag#MakeAnthonyTrumpAgain.
Let's see if we can get himat the White House
-Correspondents Dinner.-(cheers and applause)