Rapid Refresh - Just Depends on Where the Balls Are

Wednesday, June 25, 2014 06/25/2014 Views: 507

Steve Byrne, Owen Benjamin and Roy Wood Jr. learn more about a soccer player who likes to bite his opponents and then guess why the First Derm app is so expensive. (3:42)

>> RIPPED FROM TODAY'S INTERNETHEADLINES, IT'S RAPID REFRESH.

EARLIER THIS WEEK, THETWITTER-VERSE WENT CRAZY WHEN

URUGUAY PLAYER, LUIS SUAREZ,WENT FULL TYSON ON AN ITALIAN

PLAYER DURING THEIR WORLD CUPGAME.

I'M HALF ITALIAN. IT'S FUN TOBITE US.

WE TASTE LIKE MARINARA SAUCE.WE'RE DELICIOUS.

THIS IS THE THIRD TIME HE'S BITAN OPPOSING PLAYER.

TAKE A LOOK.

ONE, ONE URUGUAYAN BITES.

TWO, TWO URUGUAYAN BITES.

THREE, THREE URUGUAYAN BITES.AH-HA HA HA HA.

I CAN ONLY COUNT TO THREE. IDON'T KNOW WHAT COMES AFTER THAT

CORRUPT EURO-TRASHBALL KABALFIFA HAS OPENED DISCIPLINARY

HEARINGS AGAINST SAUREZ.

HE IS BEING CHARGED WITH THECRIME OF MAKING SOCCER

INTERESTING.

WHICH OF THESE LUIS SUAREZPHOTOSHOPS GOT THE MOST FAVORITE

ON TWITTER.

A, VAMPIRE SUAREZ?

B, DOG CONE SUAREZ?

THIS EXPLANATION OF HOW SUAREZVIEWS HIS OPPONENTS.

NOW, YOU CAN SEE HERE THETENDEREST MEAT IS RIGHT HERE,

AND WHEN URUGAY PLAYS ISRAEL,THE BRISKET'S RIGHT ACROSS

SO WHICH ONE OF OF THOSE GOT THEMOST FAVORITES.

STEVE BYRNE.

>> I'M GOING TO GO B., THE DOGCONE.

I DID SOME RESEARCH ON THISGUY. THE CRAZY THING, HE BITES

ON THE FIELD, IN BED, HE JUSTLIKES TO CUDDLE.

>> YEAH, JUST A CUDDLER.

>> HE'S EMOTIONAL.

>> IT JUST DEPENDS WHERE THEBALL ARE, IF THEY'RE ON THE

FIELD, BITING.

THE CORRECT ANSWER IS B. FOR 100POINTS.

NO ONE HAS DONE A FULL TIGERWOODS RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE LIKE

THAT, JUST RIGHT OUT OF THE -->> YOU'RE INTENSE.

HELLO WORLD.

I FEEL LIKE THIS CONE WOULDPROTECT HIM FROM BITING HIMSELF

BUT DOES IT REALLY PROTECT HIMFROM BITING OTHER PEOPLE.

>> THE WEIRD THING IS FOR THREEWEEKS IN THE EIGHTH DPRAID I HAD

TO PUT ONE ON MY RIGHT HAND.>> OH SURE. WE'LL THAT'S --

>>YOU COULD STILL JUST GO LIKETHAT.

>> YOU ALSO HAVE ANOTHER HAND.

>> YOU CHEAT ON YOURSELF!

THAT IS CRAZY.

GEEKOLOGY IS REPORTING THAT THENEW APP CALLED FIRSTDERM HAS

JUST BEEN MADE AVAILABLE, AND ITCOSTS IT COSTS 40 BUCKS

EVERYTIME YOU USE IT. COMEDIANS,WHAT COULD THIS APP POSSIBLY DO

THAT'S WORTH 40 DOLLARS?

A, ANONYMOUSLY SEND A DICK PICTO YOUR DOCTOR FOR STD ANALYSIS.

B, DIRECT CONTACT DERMOTMULRONEY, AND ONE LUCKY USER

GETS TO GO ON A DATE WITH HIM.

C, UPLOAD PHOTOS OF STRANGERSAND SEE IN APPROXIMATION WHAT

THEY WOULD LOOK LIKE NAKED.

OWEN BENJAMIN.

>> I'M GOING TO SAY A,ANONYMOUSLY SEND A DICK PIC TO

YOUR DOCTOR BECAUSE WEBMD KEEPSSAYING IT'S AIDS.

>> IT'S ONE OR THE OTHER.

IT'S EITHER AIDS OR CANCER.

LET'S FIND OUT, THE CORRECTANSWER IS A.

ACCORDING TO THE ARTICLE, YOUSEND TWO PHOTOS OF YOUR

TROUBLESOME PECKER WITH A TEXT.SOMETHING FUN LIKE, IF YOU THINK

THIS LOOKS BAD, YOU SHOULD SEETHE OTHER GUY.

THE DOCTOR GETS BACK TO YOUWITHIN 48 HOURS WITH A

DIAGNOSEIS AND PROBABLY HOW DIDYOU GET THIS NUMBER?

COMEDIANS, FOR BONUS POINT,PLEASE WRITE ME THE TEXT THAT

WOULD GO ALONG WITH YOUR RASHYDICK PIC.

OWEN.

>> MINE WOULD JUST SAY, "DOC, ISMY DICK SUPPOSED TO BE THIS

BIG?">> POINTS ROY WOOD JR.

>> MY TEXT WOULD SAY, "HEY,DUDE, IT'S ME.

AGAIN.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )