#HashtagWars - #3WordFashionAdvice

Wednesday, June 24, 2015 06/24/2015 Views: 265

To prevent injuries caused by ill-fitting clothing, Cameron Esposito, Hampton Yount and Todd Barry present a list of radically condensed fashion do's and don'ts. (2:00)

>> CHRIS: IT'S NOW TIME FOR THE"#HASHTAGWARS."

AN AUSTRALIAN LADY WORE SKINNYJEANS SO TIGHT THEY CAUSED HER

ACTUAL NERVE DAMAGE.

NOW, I ASK YOU WITH THE UTMOSTSINCERITY,

GUUURRL, HOW YOU GET IN THEMJEANS?

>> SHE WAS SQUATTING FOUR HOURSAS SHE HELPED A RELATIVE MOVE.

HER POSITION, TOGETHER WITHTHOSE TIGHT JEANS, LED TO WHAT'S

CALLED COMPARTMENT SYNDROME.

>> CHRIS: I DON'T KNOW WHAT'SWRONG-- OW, OW! OH MY BALLS.

>> THAT IS NOT THE ONLY PART OFHER OUTFIT I OBJECT TO.

SHE IS ALSO WEARING ASHORT-SLEEVED ANGORA SWEATER.

THAT'S STUPID AS ( BLEEP ).

>> CHRIS: EVERYTHING ABOUT THATIS WRONG.

TONIGHT, WE'RE DOING OUR PART TOPREVENT FURTHER FASHION-RELATED

TRAUMAS WITH THE HASHTAG WAR#3WORDFASHIONADVICE.

SOME EXAMPLES MIGHT BE:HELLO, TURTLENECKS, OBVIOUSLY.

OR WHATEVER CEE LO'S WEARING.

OR SOCKS, SANDALS, SUCCESS.

I'M GOING TO PUT 60 SECONDS ONTHE CLOCK RIGHT NOW AND BEGIN.

CAMERON.

>> FULL-BODY SPANX.

>> JIZZ-RESISTANT CAPES.

>> CHRIS: POINTS.

>> BEDAZZLED KNEE PADS.

>> CHRIS: POINTS.

>> DATE NIGHT DIAPERS.

>> CHRIS: POINTS.

CAMERON.

>> SHAPE THOSE PUBES, SHAPETHEM.

>> CHRIS: TODD.

>> TUXEDO WITH CROCS. >>CHRIS: POINTS. HAMPTON.

>> MORMON FACIAL PAJAMAS.

>> CHRIS: POINTS.

( LAUGHTER )THIS IS SO YOU CAN'T ( BLEEP )

MY FACE.

>> IT'S A NO-GO.

HAMPTON.

>> GRANDMA'S PUBIC SWEATER.

>> CHRIS: POINTS.

SO IT'S ALWAYS GOING TO COME INGRAY.

( LAUGHTER )>> FEMALE DADBOD.

>> CHRIS: POINTS.

TODD.

>> THAT STAIN'S FINE.

>> CHRIS: OKAY, POINTS.