It's 4/20, sort of. I mean,it's technically after midnight,
but you're still bakedfrom the same day,
so let's just sayit's (bleep) 4/20.
-Uh... which...-(cheers and applause)
I know, I know, I know.
You've been hearing it all day.
I do not partakefor three reasons.
Number one- I am sober,
number two--it makes me very paranoid,
and number three--uh, see one and two. Uh...
-(laughter) -420, by the way,is secret police code
for no woman, no cry.
And all across the countrytoday, stoners were stoning,
bongs were bonging, gatewayswere leading to cocaine.
Spencer's gifts sold enoughblack light astrology posters
to reach halfway to the moonbefore you had
to turn back around'cause you forgot your phone.
So far, 24 stateshave legalized pot...
Yeah. I don't know...
-(applause and cheering)-I guess...
I'll accept that you're gigglyalready, Steve Agee.
-I'll accept.-AGEE: Smoke it. Just smoke
24 states have so farlegalized pot
for medical use,like for cataracts or Coachella.
-WOMAN: Yeah.-(whooping, cheering)
But some are worried
that pot smokersare giving states a bad image.
For more on this, we take youto Colorado news toker
Jeremy Hubbard. Jeremy.
All right, Colorado,I love you,
but we got to start puttingon pants
-when we go to buy marijuana.-(laughter)
Please, please, put on pants.
That's all... I ask.
-(laughter) -That's it.-All right, well, I guess.
-(applause and cheering)-That seems like a...
But a simple request, right?
HARDWICK: This is just a littlemessage to you, Jeremy Hubbard.
I appreciateyour message, right,
for you and go and gettingyour official weed,
but this was suchan amazing opportunity for him
to have turned and walked awayand just had no pants on.
-(laughter) -Like, you totallymissed an opportunity, Hubbard!
-Get (bleep) together!-WOMAN: Yeah. -(whooping)
So, comedians,you may or may not smoke pot.
I don't know.I'm guessing you do.
What is another tipfor our viewers
that might have smoked too muchMary of the juana? Tyler Labine.
Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon
matches up perfectlywith Pink Floyd's The Wall.
-(laughter)-HARDWICK: Oh, crazy!
-Steve Agee.-In reverse.
Don't catch your crankin your zipper, dude.
(laughter and groaning)
Good advice. Doug Benson.
Chris, it's importantto pace yourself,
which I did not do today.
(cheers and applause)