Indie No-Go - Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I'm a C**t

Monday, January 26, 2015 01/26/2015 Views: 95

A British hipster has been crowdsourcing money to fund his dates, so John Gemberling, Tymberlee Hill and Ken Marino come up with enticing incentives for his investors. (1:38)

AS WE JUMP TO THENEXT GAME, ENDIE NO-GO.

>> THIS WALKING MOLE SKINNOTEBOOK NAMED TOM PACKER,S

26-YEAR-OLD PART TIMEBRITISH BARTENDER HIP STER

WHO STARTED A ENDIE GO-GOCAMPAIGN TO PAY FOR HIS

SKATES Z HE BLOW ALL HISSHILLINGS ON WHIMSICAL

TATTOOS AND MONTHLY VESTBUDGET.

TOM PROMISES TO MAKE YOURINVESTMENT WORTHWHILE WITH

THESE INCENTIVES.

HIS PERSONAL DIARY, RECEIVEUPDATES IN YOUR IN-BOX ABOUT

MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE ON MYJOURNEY TO FIND LOVE.

[BLEEP] YOU, DUDE.

>> AND 500-- I WILL TAKE YOUOUT IN LONDON AS ONE OF MY

13 DATES AND WRITE YOU APERSONAL POEM.

ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS AREBLUE, I'M A [BLEEP].

>> COMEDIANS, LET'S HELP TOMOUT WITH MORE COMPELLING

INCENTIVES FOR HIS CAMPAIGN.

PUT 60 SECONDS AND GO.

>> FOR 200 POUNDS I WILLSCREAM YOUR NAME AS I'M

CLIMAXING.

>> POINTS.

>> FOR 50 POUNDS I'LL LETYOU LISTEN TO ME RAMBLE ON

ABOUT HOW MUSIC IS BETTER ONVINYL.

>> POINTS.

>> FOR ZERO POUNDS YOU CANNEVER THINK ABOUT ME AGAIN.

>> POINTS.

>> TYMBERLEE.

>> FOR 30 POUNDS YOU CANWATCH ME BEAT OFF INTO A

RUSTY TOBACCO TIN.

>> TYMBERLEE.

>> FOR 100 POUNDS YOU CANWATCH ME WHILE I CRY ABOUT

NOT BEING ABLE TO GET ANERECTION.