Ripped from today's Internetheadlines, it's Rapid Refresh!
(cheers and applause)
Here's a list of stuff peoplecould not get enough of today.
First up-- Oculus Riff.Oculus Riff.
Coachella, the annual
music festivaland sunstroke pilgrimage,
announced a virtual reality app,which will allow attendees
to experience allthe sweaty desert fun
without having to massagesunscreens into their beards.
You see, you just puta little phone
and your little headset like so.
Here we go.Phwink, phwink, phwink.
And then, you're in Coachella.
-(applause and cheering)-There we go. -Oh.
HARDWICK:How else are....
do you poop at a rave?
I don't know how else you'resupposed to poop at a rave.
This.. this guy looks...this guy looks
like he's aboutto give birth to Prince.
-(laughter) -Uh, all of...-CUMMINGS: I actually think
this is American Apparel'snew ad campaign.
-(laughter)-HARDWICK: All of these people
behind him are like, "Why amI covered in brown glitter?"
what are some othervirtual reality experiences
you might getwith a Coachella VR app?
-Josh McDermitt. -You actuallyget all your (bleep) stolen
while you're wearingthose stupid goggles.
-Yeah. Points. Points.-(laughter)
-Whitney Cummings.-You can get virtually peed on
by R. Kelly's hologram.
-Nick Youssef.-You stand in line for two hours
for a Porta Potti,then you realize
they're sellingSam Smith shirts,
and then you(bleep) there anyway.
-All right, points. Points.-(laughter)
Next up, Basketball Promotions,Basketball Promotions.
The Sacramento Kings'basketball concern
unleashedan exciting halftime spectacle
that made the Internetsqueeeeeeee with eight Es!
What was said halftime show?
-Whitney.-I don't know!
-You buzzed in too quick!-I know, but...
All right,what's the question? Uh...
-(laughter) -Can we do this,like, what's it called,
uh, Price Is Right, where the audience helps me?
-Yeah, sure. -Okay.-(cheering, applause)
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
-So... -All right, audience,what do you think?
What's it gonna be?
-(audience shouting answers)-Is it a ba... Ah. Oh.
-Okay.-All right, Whitney.
You guys better not (bleep) meon this.
-(laughter)-Dropping the F bomb,
very commonon The Price Is Right program.
-Okay, but I should be, like,jumping, -What's it gonna be?
'cause they'realways jumping. Crazy.
It's C, Chris!
-(laughter, cheering)-All right!
You said C.
The audience also said C.
If you're right, you'regonna win a brand-new points.
That's not the correct answer.
-CUMMINGS: (bleep)!-(audience groaning)
The correct answerwas in fact...
Come on, Sacramento,let me hear you!
Landers taking a quick nap.
McDERMITT:No. Oh, my God.
(man shouting indistinctly)
And this is how Kobe Bryantreinjured his knee.
-He stepped on a baby.-He tripped over a baby.
-CUMMINGS: Goddamn it.-I just thought this was
more Coachella footage,just these...
The losing babies were sentenced
to a lifetime of servitudeat the nachos stand.
You should've crawled faster,you lazy (bleep)!
CUMMINGS: No, their punishmentis being the baby
of someone who would put themin that contest.
-Yeah, that's right. -They'regonna be really bummed out
when they find outthey live in Sacramento.
-Hundred points to Nick Youssef.-(applause, whooping)