The Nation's Fapital

May 17, 2017 - #MakeASongBoring 05/17/2017 Views: 246

Washington, D.C., commuters were inadvertently treated to free porn, inspiring Gilbert Gottfried, Whitney Cummings and Jesse Joyce to create a new category of adult films. (1:52)

Commuters in Washington, DCwere treated Monday night

to a little free pornography,which is a step up

from their usual guybeating off on the bus.

This adult relaxation zoetropewas inadvertently projected

onto a public screenin Union Station.

Now, it's totally censored here,

but a lady, um, is, uh,butterflied

open and just playingthe washboard, uh, right there.

That is another way you couldget splinters in your vagina.

-(laughter) -I didn't evenrealize, but if you washboard...

HARDWICK: Between that and...yeah. Playing a washboard.

-(applause) -Yeah. That's whythere's not a lot of...

That's why there's not a lotof nude jug bands.

You guys, we have to hurry up.Gilbert's gonna fall asleep.

(laughter)

It's way past his bedtime.

(laughter)

What makes that funnier iswe're filming this at 4:00 p.m.

(laughter)

Anyone watching is like, "Oh,it's midnight." No, it's 4:00.

-(applause and cheering)-4:00.

This video was from...

-This video was from... -(likeGottfried): My bedtime was 1971!

(laughter)

(cheers and applause)

HARDWICK (like Gottfried):I got in my pajamas

-when Nixon resigned.-(laughter)

(applause and cheering)

Oh, (bleep).

(Cummings sighs heavily)

This-this video...

This view was from PornHub,

and apparently, played unnoticedfor three full minutes,

which is more than enough time

to rub one outunder your briefcase

before anyone realizesyou're Steve Bannon.

So, comedians,what are some DC

porn movies? What aresome DC porn movies? Whitney.

-The Oval Orifice. -HARDWICK:Yes, points. -(laughter)

Uh, Jesse.

Uh, The Gay-braham Blumpkin Memorial.

-(laughter)-Points.

Uh, Gilbert Gottfried.

All the President's Semen.

-Yes, points.-(laughter, applause)

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