The Word - President Barack Obama - To Health in a Handbasket

December 8, 2014 - Barack Obama 12/08/2014 Views: 1,259,875

President Barack Obama delivers a special edition of The Word, proving that he is perfectly capable of doing Stephen's job. (7:05)

(LAUGHTER)POINT IS, I COULD BE A

POLITICIAN LIKE THAT --(SNAP)

-- BUT A POLITICIAN COULD NEVERDO MY JOB, WHICH IS WHY EVERYONE

SHOULD LISTEN TO MY CURE FORObamaCare, AND THAT BRINGS

US TO TONIGHT'S --(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> THANK YOU, EVERYBODY.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

STEPHEN.

>> Stephen: PRESIDENT OBAMA IDIDN'T EXPECT YOU TO BE OUT HERE

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: THANKS SO MUCH!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)PRESIDENT OBAMA, I'M THRILLED

YOU'RE HERE BUT I DID NOT EXPECTYOU FOR ANOTHER THREE MINUTES.

>> STEPHEN, YOU HAVE BEEN TAKINGA LOT OF SHOTS AT MY JOB.

I DECIDED I'M GONNA GO AHEADAND TAKE A SHOT AT YOURS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)I WANT YOU TO GET OUT OF THE WAY

WHAT PART OF THE SEGMENT ARE WEIN NOW?

WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO BE DOING?

>> Stephen: I WAS ABOUT TO DO"THE WORD," SIR.

>> "THE WORD."

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)HOW HARD CAN THIS BE?

I'M JUST GOING TO SAY WHATEVERYOU WERE ABOUT TO SAY.

>> Stephen: OKEY-DOKE.

OKAY.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)NATION -- NATION, INSTEAD OF THE

WORD, LET'S MAKE THIS A LITTLEMORE PRESIDENTIAL,

WHICH BRINGS US TO TONIGHT'S"DECREE"...

(PLAYING "HAIL TO THE CHIEF,"THEN CLANG)

... TO HEALTH IN A HAND BASKET.

NATION, AS YOU KNOW, I, STEPHENCOLBERT, HAVE NEVER CARED FOR

OUR PRESIDENT.

(LAUGHTER)THE GUY IS SO ARROGANT, I BET HE

TALKS ABOUT HIMSELF IN THE THIRDPERSON.

(LAUGHTER)(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

BUT EVEN I HAVE TO ADMIT THATObamaCare IS THE LAW OF THE

LAND.

AND WHILE IT'S BEEN POLITICALLYDIVISIVE, THERE ARE THINGS THAT

PEOPLE FROM BOTH PARTIES LIKEABOUT ObamaCare.

(LAUGHTER)FOR INSTANCE, THAT CHILDREN CAN

STAY ON THEIR PARENTS' POLICIESUNTIL AGE 26.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)NEARLY 7 MILLION PEOPLE SIGNED

UP LAST YEAR AND ALMOST1 MILLION MORE HAVE SIGNED UP IN

JUST THE PAST FEW WEEKS.(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

NOW, NATION THE QUESTION IS HOWDO YOU STOP SOMETHING

THAT MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARESTARTING TO LIKE?

(LAUGHTER)(APPLAUSE)

WELL, FIRST OFF, NOW THAT THEREPUBLICANS CONTROL BOTH THE

HOUSE AND THE SENATE, THEY COULDPASS A BILL REPEALING

ObamaCare.

BUT THE PRESIDENT STILL HAS THEVETO.

AND IF I KNOW THAT GUY, HE'SWILLING TO USE IT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)AND LET'S FACE IT. EVEN IF

REPUBLICANS SOMEHOW DID REPEALIT, THEY'D HAVE TO REPLACE IT

WITH THEIR OWN HEALTHCARE PLAN.

(LAUGHTER)AND ONCE THEY TOUCH IT, THEY OWN

IT.

THEN IF ANYTHING GOES WRONG,SUDDENLY EVERYBODY WILL BE

COMPLAINING ABOUT MITCHMcCONNELL-CARE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)OF COURSE, ANOTHER STRATEGY IS

TAKING ObamaCare TO THESUPREME COURT AND TRYING TO GET

IT THROWN OUT.

BUT LAST TIME WE TRIED THAT, ITDIDN'T WORK.

I BELIEVE THERE'S ONLY ONE SUREFIRE WAY TO KILL THIS THING.

(LAUGHTER)(APPLAUSE)

WE HAVE TO MAKE SIGNING UP FORObamaCare UNAPPEALING TO

YOUNG PEOPLE.

(LAUGHTER)(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

WE CAN SCARE THEM AWAY BYREMINDING THEM THAT LAST YEAR'S

WEB SITE ROLLOUT WAS A LITTLEBUMPY.

(LAUGHTER)REMEMBER THE ORIGINAL

HEALTHCARE.GOV WEB SITE?

I THINK THAT'S WHERE DISNEY GOTTHE IDEA FOR "FROZEN."

(LAUGHTER)NOW, THE NEW WEB SITE WORKS, AND

MOST YOUNG PEOPLE CAN GETCOVERED FOR LESS THAN $100.

BUT HOW'S THE PRESIDENT GOING TOGET THAT MESSAGE OUT TO THE

KIDS?

(APPLAUSE)HE COULD TRY TO APPEAL TO THEM

DIRECTLY THROUGH A SPEECH OR APRESS CONFERENCE, BUT YOUNG

PEOPLE DON'T WATCH REAL NEWSSHOWS LIKE THIS ONE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)THEY WATCH COMEDY SHOWS, AND I

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)THEY WATCH COMEDY SHOWS, AND I

JUST DON'T SEE THE PRESIDENTGOING ON ONE OF THOSE.

THEY'RE BENEATH HIS DIGNITY.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)BESIDES, EVEN IF HE DID GET HIS

MESSAGE ACROSS, YOUNG PEOPLEDON'T THINK THEY NEED ANY

INSURANCE.

AFTER ALL, THEY'RE YOUNG!

THEY DON'T REALIZE THAT EVERYONEEVENTUALLY GROWS OLDER...

AT SOMETIMES A FASTER RATETHAN OTHERS.

(LAUGHTER)(APPLAUSE)

AND THAT'S THE DECREE.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THELEADER OF THE FREE WORLD.