Daniel Goleman

December 2, 2013 - Daniel Goleman 12/02/2013 Views: 26,313

"Focus" author Daniel Goleman describes the concept of emotional intelligence and the relationship between mental focus and success. (6:42)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,EVERYBODY, MY GUEST TONIGHT IS A

SCIENCE JOURNALIST WHOSE NEWBOOK IS CALLED "FOCUS: THE

HIDDEN DRIVER OF EXCELLENCE."

THE UNHIDDEN DRIVER OFEXCELLENCE IS PAYING YOUR RENT.

PLEASE WELCOME DANIEL GOLEMAN.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)THANKS FOR COMING ON.

ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE APSYCHOLOGIST, AN AUTHOR, A

SCIENCE JOURNALIST AND YOU'REMOST FAMOUS BOOK IS CALLED

"EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE."

IT SOLD OVER FIVE MILLIONCOPIES.

WHAT IS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.

>> EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE MEANSBEING INTELLIGENT ABOUT

EMOTIONS.

>> Stephen: WHAT DOES THATMEAN?

AREN'T BOOKS THEMSELVES LIKEYOUR BOOK ABOUT -- ISN'T THAT

BOOK SMART NOT EMOTION SMART?

(LAUGHTER)>> WELL, THE BOOK IS ABOUT HOW

TO MANAGE YOUR EMOTIONS, HOW TOBE SELF-AWARE, HOW TO BE

EMPATHIC, HOW TO TUNE INTOSOMEONE ELSE.

>> Stephen: BUT YOU CAN'TTHINK ABOUT EMOTIONS.

YOU HAVE TO FEEL EMOTIONS,RIGHT?

YOU HAVE TO PROJECT -- LIKEEMOTIONS -- LIKE I CAN'T READ

ABOUT THAT, I'VE GOT TO READYOUR FACE, ARE YOU LIKE ROLLING

YOUR EYES OR GOING "I HEARD YOUTHE FIRST TIME!"

>> THAT'S PART OF EMOTIONALINTELLIGENCE, PICKING UP CUES

FROM PEOPLE ABOUT HOW PEOPLE AREFEELING.

>> Stephen: HOW AM I FEELINGRIGHT NOW?

>> I THINK YOU'RE FEELING VERYSERIOUS.

ARE YOU?

>> Stephen: I'M NOT IN TOUCHWITH MY OWN EMOTIONS.

(LAUGHTER)>> BUT IF YOU WERE EMOTIONALLY

INTELLIGENT YOU WOULD BE.

>> Stephen: YOU WROTE ANARTICLE THIS FALL IN THE OLD

"NEW YORK TIMES," THE GRADY DITHERE CALLED "RICH PEOPLE JUST

CARELESS."

GUESS WHO HAS TWO THUMBS, A LOTOF CASH AND DOESN'T CARE THAT

THESE AREN'T THUMBS, OKAY?

(LAUGHTER)WHY AS A RICH PERSON -- HERE'S

AN EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.

WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT -- WHYSHOULD I CARE?

I'M RICH.

I GOT MINE, JACK.

>> REASONABLE QUESTION.

BUT THINK ABOUT BILL GATES.

HERE'S A GUY WHO MADE MILLIONS,BILLIONS --

>> Stephen: BILL'S A FRIEND,BE CAREFUL.

>> AND HE SPENDS HIS TIME --SOME OF HIS TIME -- GETTING TO

KNOW PEOPLE WHO ARE VERY POORAND GETTING TO UNDERSTAND THEM.

HE SAYS IT MAKES THINGS VERYMEANINGFUL FOR HIM.

ANOTHER REASON IS, YOU KNOW, THEPOPE MAKES THE ARGUMENT THAT

IT'S THE ETHICAL THING TO DO ISTUNE INTO PEOPLE WHO ARE POOR OR

POWERLESS -->> Stephen: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

BUT THAT WAS THE REAL POPE.

THE NEW SPOEP A FAKE POPE.

ARE YOU A CATHOLIC?

>> NO.

>> Stephen: WELL, YOU WOULDN'TKNOW IT.

THAT'S NOT A REAL POPE.

>> BUT I LIKE WHAT HE SAYS ALOT.

>> Stephen: OF COURSE, OFCOURSE.

WHAT IS THE EMPATHY GAP YOU TALKABOUT?

WE HAVE AN EMPATHY GAP INAMERICA?

>> THE EMPATHY GAP SHOWS UP IN ALOT OF WAYS.

IN CONVERSATION PEOPLE WHO HAVEMORE POWER TEND TO PAY LESS

ATTENTION TO THE PERSON WITHLESS POWER.

IN E-MAIL-- VERY INTERESTING--IN ORGANIZATIONS --

>> Stephen: I'M SORRY, WHAT?

(LAUGHTER)>> IN AN ORGANIZATION, LIKE IN A

WORKPLACE, IN A BUSINESS, PEOPLEWHO ARE HIGHER IN THE HIERARCHY

TAKE LONGER TO ANSWER E-MAILSFROM PEOPLE WHO ARE LOWER IN THE

ORGANIZATION.

YOU CAN ACTUALLY MAP THEORGANIZATIONAL HIERARCHY BY HOW

CAN IT TAKES PERSON A TO ANSWERPERSON B.

>> Stephen: WOW.

I HAVE NEVER ANSWERED ONEE-MAIL.

(LAUGHTER).

>> Stephen: SO YOU MUST BEVERY POWERFUL.

>> TOP OF THE PYRAMID, MYFRIEND.

>> Stephen: HOW DO YOU FIX IT?

I DON'T HAVE TO GIVE AWAY MYMONEY, DO ANY THAT'S A NIGHTMARE

SCENARIO.

DO I HAVE TO NOT BE RICH HIM?

>> THE WAY TO HEAL A GAP BETWEENANY TWO GROUPS THAT DON'T

UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER ISCONTACT.

SO, FOR EXAMPLE, WHEN BILL GATESGOES A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY AND

MEETS PEOPLE WHO HAVE THEPROBLEMS OF POVERTY, WHAT HE'S

DOING IS HAVING THE KIND OF TIMEWITH THEM AND UNDERSTANDING WITH

THEM THAT LETS HIM KNOW HOW BESTTO HELP THEM.

>> Stephen: YOU'RE NOT TALKINGABOUT ME FLYING COMMERCIAL, ARE

YOU?

(LAUGHTER)BECAUSE EVEN FIRST CLASS IS LIKE

-- IT LOOKS LIKE THEY SHOT "12MONKEYS" IN THERE.

I HAVE TO FLY PRIVATE.

I HAVE TO FLY PRIVATE STILL.

>> Stephen: WELL, IT MIGHTMEAN FLYING COMMERCIAL.

>> Stephen: HAVE YOU EVER BEENON A KING AIR 350-I?

>> NO.

>> Stephen: THEN YOU DON'TKNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

(LAUGHTER)YOU HAVE A NEW BOOK CALLED

"FOCUS, THE HIDDEN DRIVER OFEXCELLENCE."

I'M EXCELLENT.

AM I FOCUSD?

>> THE MORE YOU CAN PAYATTENTION.

LIKE, FOR A KID, THE MORE YOUCAN DO YOUR HOME WORK AND DO THE

GAMES, VIDEO GAMES, THE MORE YOUCAN PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT THE

TEACHER IS SAYING AND NOT TEXTYOUR FRIENDS, TURNS OUT THAT'S

THE BEST PREDICTOR OF YOURFINANCIAL SUCCESS IN ADULTHOOD.

BETTER THAN I.Q., BETTER THANTHE WEALTH OF THE FAMILY YOU

GREW UP IN.

>> Stephen: IF I'M A RICHPERSON AND I GOT RICH BY

FOCUSING, MAYBE THAT'S WHY IHAVE NO EMPATHY FOR OTHER PEOPLE

BECAUSE I AM FOCUSED ON ME.

(LAUGHTER)AND GETTING STUFF DONE.

AND IF I HAD EMPATHY FOR OTHERPEOPLE I WOULDN'T BE SO FOCUSED

ON MY SUCCESS.

>> Stephen: THERE ARE THREEKINDS OF EMPATHY.

ONE IS COGNITIVE.

WHICH IS UNDERSTANDING HOWPEOPLE THINK.

ONE IS EMOTIONAL EMPATHY.

THAT'S WHAT CREATES RAPPORT.

THEN THERE'S A THIRD KIND WHICHIS EMPATHIC CONCERN.

THIS IS THE POPE'S KIND WHEREYOU TUNE INTO PEOPLE AND IF

THERE'S SOMETHING YOU CAN DO FORTHEM YOU DO HELP THEM.

AND ALL THREE KINDS OF EMPATHYMAKE OUR LIVES MUCH, MUCH MORE

FULFILLED.

>> Stephen: LET ME ASK YOUSOMETHING.

I'VE ALWAYS WONDERED ABOUT THIS.

YOU KNOW HOW WHEN YOU GO TO THEBATHROOM AND YOU'RE ON THE

TOILET THERE AND THERE'S ASTRONG DESIRE TO READ SOMETHING

LIKE A BOOK, YOU KNOW?

OR THE BACK OF A SHAMPOO BOTTLEOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

IS THAT BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, BACKIN THE CAVEMAN DAYS WHEN WE

WOULD GO TO THE BATHROOM WE'D BEVULNERABLE AND SUDDENLY OUR

AWARENESS, OUR FOCUS BECOMESVERY BROAD FOR FEAR THAT THE

TIGER IS GOING TO GET US AT THATMOMENT OF VULNERABILITY?

IS SOMETHING SQUIRTING IN MYBRAIN AT THAT MOMENT, SOME GLAND

SQUIRTING THAT MAKES MEINTERESTED IN ANYTHING?

BECAUSE I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT IF ICOULD CAPTURE THAT MOMENT OF

FOCUS THAT I HAVE WHEN I'M ONTHE TOILET AND READING I COULD

TURN THAT INTO PILL, EVERYONEWOULD BE A GENIUS.

(LAUGHTER)IS SOMETHING HAPPENING THERE?

>> I THINK SOMETHING ISHAPPENING BUT WE DON'T KNOW WHAT

AND WE'D HAVE TO LOOK AT YOURBRAIN TO FIND OUT.

>> Stephen: WHEN ARE WE MOSTFOCUSD?

>> TURNS OUT PEOPLE ARE MOSTFOCUSED DURING SEX, NO SURPRISE.

THEY'RE LEAST FOCUSED -- THEMIND WANDERS ABOUT 50% OF THE

TIME.

IT WANDERS THE MOST WHEN PEOPLEARE COMMUTING, SITTING IN FRONT

OF A COMPUTER TERMINAL.

>> Stephen: WHAT IF YOU'REMAKING LOVE AT A COMPUTER

TERMINAL?

>> IT WOULD PROBABLY AVERAGE OUTTO ABOUT 50%.

>> Stephen: WELL, GOOD LUCKWITH YOUR RESEARCH ON THAT

PARTICULAR SUBJECT.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOININGME.

DANIEL GOLEMAN.

THE BOOK IS "FOCUS."

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

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