Please welcome Colin Quinn!
(cheering and applause)
-Mr. Colin Quinn.-Yes. Thank you, Trevor.
-A sum of New York,if ever I have met one. -Yes.
You arethe New Yorkiest thing
-I have ever come acrossin my life. -Yes.
You really are.You really are. You...
I-I met you whenI first came to New York City.
And I remember thinkingwhen I met you, I was like,
"This man is New York."
And I remember thinking,"This man's Johannesburg."
Thank you so muchfor coming to the show.
Uh, it's great to have you here,taking your time out...
You lost your voicethis weekend.
-You-you may not have made ittoday. -Yeah, I did.
I took... I went to the doctorand got a shot today
for this show.So if I die, it's on your head.
I don't think that's fair.I mean, you got the shot, so...
I didn't say it was fair. I'mjust saying that's how it is.
So, w... did-did your voice goduring the show
-or was it, like, oneof those... -Before the show.
-And then you still did theshow? -I did the show like this.
Two shows. Yes. I was surprisedpeople didn't just walk out
and start swinging at me. Butthey sat through it, you know?
-Did they laugh? Was it, like...-They laughed.
But it was still weird'cause I'm talking like...
I mean, I'm not exaggerating.I was just like this.
So where did you put the mike?What did you do with the...
-No, the mike's on the... bodymike. -Oh, are you doing, like,
-a... Oh.-I go body mike, yeah.
I like... I'm... I can't...I'm not used to...
-I don't know what to do withmy hands sometimes. -Really?
Yeah. Like, on a stage, I'mjust like, "Where's the mike?"
-Always? Yeah.-My hands. Just... This is...
this is what...this is what happens to me.
But you do such good characterstuff. I thought you would want
-to free your hands for...-All my characters have mikes.
-I guess so.-That's, uh...
You-You're also... You're doingthe one man show right now,
-and it's directedby Jerry Seinfeld. -Yes.
How on earth do you get thatto happen?
Um, just, you know...we get breakfast all the time,
so it's just kind of, like,a subtle kind of, "Oh, man,
"I can't get this show.Nobody'll produce, you know?
"I got a good show,but I can't do nothin', Jerry.
I don't know what to say."And just, you know...
He's like, "Well,I could step..." "Jerry, no.
"You? All right, yeah.
"If I could just throw your namearound a little, Jerry,
you show up for a few weeks,no big deal. You're not busy."
-You know. -And that's-that'sseriously how you got him
-to direct... -No, he volunteersevery time. Yeah.
Jerry loves me. What?
You know, what fascinates me isI'm trying to figure out
how he directs you.
Like, you-you and Jerry seemso different in your styles
-of comedy. -Yeah.That's what's good about him.
He's bossy, you knowwhat I mean? He's very...
he's very, uh... t...very pri...
He's kind of like you.Like, he looks good in a suit.
He's just very organi...You know what I mean?
Like, very severe.You have a severe side to you.
You-You've said nothing,you realize that?
You started a sentence fourtimes, and you said nothing.
You went, "He's very, uh...he's very, uh... he's very...
"You know the way...He's like you. He's very, uh...
-He's very..." You said nothing.-I said "severe" at the end.
-Yeah, you said "severe" atthe end, but it... -I was proud
of myselfthat I actually got "severe."
The crowd was... the crowdwas going along with it,
and you st...you had to throw it in my face.
-Well, this is an honest space.-I come out after a shot.
-This is an honest space.-I'm all for the honest space,
and I'm just saying I'mhonestly furious right now. No.
Oh. Let's talkabout the web series, Cop...
I... Like, I watched the showwhen it first came out,
'cause I... 'cause you-you...Keith Robinson also stars in it.
-Yeah. -Yeah. W-Well, I'm...We'll try, edit that out.
I think he watches the show.That'll hurt his feelings.
-Well...-Why-why a web series?
Is that, like, just 'causeit's the rage now? Is that a...
Well, the... I guess that'sone way of spinning it. Um...
Because, yeah, I mean, wejust... Well, what happened was
we tried to bring it outto everybody,
and then slowly it gets..."All right, maybe it'll be this.
Maybe it'll be basic cable.Maybe it'll be a web series."
And then, uh, nobody coughed upm... The, uh...
It was L/Studios, Lexus, was theactual people that put up money,
because, you know, web series...
I mean, it's obviously the newrage, but, at the same time,
when you go to... If I cameto you and said, "Hey,
will you do my web series?",you're gonna be horrified
'cause you know there'sno money, there's no car service
-to the actual shoot.-Yeah.
-You know, it's a web series.-You know, I didn't know
there-there was car servicebefore I came to America.
Like, I was... That's how we gotto our shows normally.
-You just get there, you know?-You just got there yourselves?
So if you asked me, then I wouldhave come to your show.
-Nice.-I would've been...
You-you look like a real copin your show, by the way.
-Oh, thanks. I guess. -Do youthink if you weren't a comic,
-you would've been a cop?-I took the police test.
I got a 96, andthey never called me, actually.
It's funnyyou should bring that up.
'Cause they don't likehigh scores? What happened?
Because... I thinkit's because... Well, if you...
you're too high of a score,you're not gonna follow
the rules, true, but, also,I think in those days,
they would go to your block,where you grew up, and ask...
like, ring the neighbor's bellwhen you weren't around
and ask, "What do you thinkof this guy?"
And apparently I didn't getvery high scores there.
I'm picturing what peoplewere saying about you
-that the police refused to haveyou. -I'm glad I don't know.
You seem like you have, like,that cop vibe to you.
-Like, in a very positive way.Like... -I got a 96. Yeah.
-Well, I don't know if that...-Well, I'm Irish.
Irish people, you know,should be cops.
'Cause we believe in punishment.We believe in the abs...
We believe in original sin.
I don't even know how to processthis information right now.
Well, we have, like, a... You'resupposed to have kind of...
A good cop-- which peopledon't like to admit, of course--
should have the combinationof the listening skills
of a good bartender and theunpredictable violence of a nun.
And I thinkthat Irish people...
Catholic school isthe police academy, basically,
-is what I'm saying.-It's, uh...
-Do you talk about thisin your show? -Sure.
Talk about the Irish. I talkabout everybody in my show.
I love listening to you talkabout New York, Colin Quinn.
-Thanks. -I'm gonna comeand watch the show.
-Oh, thank you, yeah.-Yeah. I really will.
-Thanks. -And I hopeeveryone watching the show will.
-You guys will as well.-(cheering and applause)
Cop Show. Season oneis available now on lstudio.com.
Season two becomes availableon February 2.
Colin Quinn. New York Story is playing
at the Cherry Lane Theatre herein New York through January 30.
Colin Quinn, everybody.
(cheering and applause)