My guest tonight is a co-hostof Fox News' The Five,
host of Fox News' The Greg Gutfeld Show
and author of the new book How To Be Right.
please welcome Greg Gutfeld!
(applause and cheering)
Thanks for having me!Thank you very much.
Thank you! My pleasure!
Aah! So this is you?
This is me, believe it or not,in the flesh.
-And, uh, in the flesh.Thank you for...
I don't like the wayyou're looking at me.
What do you mean?What am I...?
I think you're seeingright through me.
I'm not... What am I seeing?
You're seeinga beautiful person.
Clearly notall the way through. Uh...
-(laughter)-No, thank you for coming.
This is one of those weirdinstances where a person,
I guess from your world,
would not normally be sittingin this chair in this world.
This is a microcosm of my life.
-I work at Fox News...-NOAH: Yes.
...and I live in New York City,so the perception of me is evil.
I am a rotten person.But I'm not.
I'm actually fairly normal,slightly perverted.
-Isn't that what rotten peoplewould say? -What?
Yes, it's true. This is true.It's a complete lie.
Do you see yourselfas a beggar honestly?
-Honestly, do you not see...?-No. No, I'm a fool.
I play a fool.I was never in politics.
-A fool as in a joker, you mean?-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, okay, okay.
So whenever anybody sayssomething that I find false...
-Yes.-...I tend to make fun of them.
That's kind ofwhat I do for a living.
I've read your book, How To Be Right,
and basically, this a bookabout how to win arguments...
-GUTFELD: Mm-hmm.-...as a conservative
...anyonethat you consider a liberal.
My question to you is,
shouldn't it be conversationsrather than arguments?
Like, does it alwayshave to be an argument?
-I think it shouldbe a conversation. -Yeah.
And I think it should be fun.
It should belike talking sports.
The problem is the right isterrible at selling good ideas,
and the left is greatat selling bad ideas.
Like, if you look... It's true.If you look at Bernie...
If you look at Bernie...
By the way,Bernie... is a socialist.
-How can a socialist...?-Democratic socialist!
-All right, I apologize.-Democratic socialist.
-Let's be specific.-Let's be specific.
-It's a democratic...-Yes.
But the point is, haven'twe had enough of socialism?
We had an entire century of it.I didn't work out well.
But however, he's likable,and he's persuasive.
-He looks like a walkingscience project. -(laughter)
Okay, now, I counter that...I counter that with Trump.
-That is a fair counter.-(laughter) -Okay.
-It's a fair counter.-He is the opposite.
-He is the opposite, right?-Yes, yes, yes...
And yet,he has all of this support.
-How do you feel about Trump?-Oh.
-Okay, you know what Trump is?-Yeah.
Trump is a classic rock bandthat has four hits.
So he's goingaround the country,
and when he seesthat the crowd is getting bored,
-his "Free Bird"is "Build a Wall." -(laughter)
Or if that doesn't workwith you
'cause you don't knowLynyrd Skynyrd.
His... When he says"Ban all Muslims..."
-When he says,"Ban all Muslims..." -Yes.
-...that's his"Stairway to Heaven." -I get it.
You see? These arehis classic hits, so...
-So you don't... you don'tagree with him? -No.
-Which... -I think what happensis there are legitimate issues
that get perverted whenyou use certain platitudes
that are used to shock people,
and that happens bothon the left, on the right.
I agree with thatin certain instances.
I mean, on one side, though,
there can be people who push itto such an extreme, though...
-True. -...that it gets...it gets the conversation
to a very dangerousand scary place, so...
-Yes, it's the place...-Okay, so Trump... You...
So you go,"I'm against Trump." You are...
I... Actually, I...Trump is a weird thing.
He eschews all-all jargon.
-There's no jargon there.-Yes...
And that is so refreshing,but what he replaces it with
are catch phrases and platitudesthat require specifics.
So for example,if you are like me
and believe that immigrationis an important issue
and that there shoulda front door and not a window...
It's like, I believethat everybody should be welcome
-into this country...-Okay.
...as long as you come throughthe front door, not the window.
America is the greatest placein the world.
-It's Disneyland for earth.Seriously. -(laughter)
No, you know what it is?
America is the lifeboat,
and the rest of the planet isthe Titanic. You could...
-(audience groaning) -Thank you.-Have you traveled?
Yes, I have. I've been around,believe it or not. That's...
There are many amazing countriesin the world.
I mean, America isa great country, but the best...
Oh, no, no, do not exaggerate.There are four.
There are four amazingcountries.
-(laughter & groaning)-There are four.
Uh, let me think of... Hold on.Let me think of them.
Okay, okay, okay, I'm gonna askyou... I'm gonna ask you one.
Is Turks and Caicostwo countries?
-I'm gonna ask...-(laughter and groaning)
-I'm gonna ask you one questionhere, okay, so... -Oh, yes.
So let's start.I'll preface it with this.
Are a conservative?
I consider myselfa right-wing liberal.
So, okay, Trump is extreme,uh, Ben...
But you know,he's not a conservative.
Oh, so, you agree on that?
No, no, no, no.He's a populist.
He's a populist.Uh, I don't believe
that what he is saying nowis ever going to happen.
He's doing this to get elected,or perhaps a TV show,
either... whichever onecomes first.
-Yes. -But I do not believe thathe is an actual conservative.
Um, and I don't mind thatbecause I'm not an ideologue.
I don't believe in a litmus testthat if you're a conservative,
you have to believein all of these things.
The same thingif you're a left-winger.
You shouldn't have to believein all of these things.
-NOAH: I agree with that.-The weird thing is,
left and right are supposedto compliment each other,
and what has happened is,they become...
they hit each other becausethey're all based on suspicion.
So, how do people
start a conversation then,in your opinion?
Um, well, it's happenedto me many times.
People have come up to meand talked to me,
-usually by saying "I hate you."-(laughter) -But they can't...
But they can't all come upto you, though, so...
-I encourage it.-Let me ask you this.
How do you start a conversation
with someone you don'tnecessarily agree with?
Uh, I don't. I-I don't talkto anybody. I don't.
You have all these proposals,
but you say nothingto further them.
That is true!
How To Be Right is in bookstores now.
The Five airs Monday throughFriday at 5:00 p.m. on Fox News.
And The Greg Gutfeld Show airsSaturday nights at 10:00.
Greg Gutfeld, everybody.
-We're good.-(applause and cheering)