Please welcome Jerry Seinfeld!
-♪ -(cheering, applause)
-Good to see you.-Thank you very much.
(cheering, applause continue)
Thank you.Thank you very much. Thank you.
-Oh. This... -The host doesn'tneed to applaud the guest.
-No, I was...-Yeah, I know. It's very sweet.
-I applaud you, though.-Very nice.
I don't applaud you... inreal life, I don't applaud you,
-but, I mean...-Yeah.
but, I mean,I feel like you deserve it.
Thank you.What were you gonna say?
-I think I cut you off.-No.
-You said, "You look..."-Oh, I said, "You look amazing."
-Oh, thank you.Well, you know... -(laughter)
I like...I like two guys in suits...
What's funny about comediansto me is looking normal,
-but they're not.-(laughter)
These comedians now,your generation,
younger people, you know,just the shirt out
and the, you know...
-It's not funny.-(laughter)
-It's not funny.-You say that like Eddie Murphy
was wearing a suitwhen he was doing Raw.
I mean, this is,like, leather...
I feel like we're the morenormal generation right now.
-What do you mean?-Who is? You are?
-We are. We're the...-Younger?
Yeah, we're way more normal now.
-They dress normal.-Yes.
-Yeah. -Oh, you're sayingthat's not funny.
Right. It's not funny.'Cause this,
I would neverwear this normally.
This is... to me, it's...a guy in a suit to me is funny.
-(laughter)-I wear a suit every day,
-so I don't knowhow to take that. -Right.
Thank you for being here.You just got back from, uh,
-from Israel. -Israel.Yeah, I did comedy in Israel.
I performed there forthe very first time last month,
-No. First time?-which was unbelievable.
First time. Yeah.
We did four shows in this arena,and the audiences were amazing,
and, uh... Israelis, uh...
everything you ask them,you know,
is either, "It's no problem,it's no problem,"
or, "No, it's impossible,it's impossible."
-(laughter)-There's nothing in between.
No problem.No, there's no problem.
What if we wanted to goin the afternoon?
It's impossible.It's impossible.
-All or nothing.-All or nothing, yeah.
I'm surprisedyou go anywhere at this...
'Cause what are you now,like 50-something now?
-I'm 61.-(whooping, cheering, applause)
I'm always shocked by your age.
and you... are gonna love!
You're gonna lovewhen you get to this age.
Now, when people ask meto do something,
-I just say no.-(laughter)
I just say no.
-That's the only perk?-No, no. There's many others.
Um, I don't turn around.
If I'm walking with someoneand they go,
"Oh, look at that,"and it's behind me, forget it.
-Oh, man! -I'm sureI've seen something like that,
or there'll be...there'll be one in front of me.
I had a friend--this is true--
I had friend tell me...
-So I'm 61, I have a wife,I have three kids. -Yeah.
You know.So I had a friend tell me--
and it's not like an everydayfriend, a good friend
that I've knownfor a long time--
say, uh, "You know,I think we have some issues
in our relationship."
And when you're in your 60sand you have a...
you're married and you have kids
and you're doingall these things,
I just went, "I'm sure we do.Let's just wrap it up.
Whatever it is,I'm sure you're right...
I'm sure I was the bad person...
I don't care.
Just, let's just wrap it. Yeah.
It sounds like in your 60syou've become Israeli.
-It's impossible to turn around.-Yeah. Cannot turn around.
It's impossible to turn around,and anything, yeah,
-just, uh, it's possible,let's wrap it up. -Yeah.
Um, Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.
It's a strange thing for me.
You seem like you're retiredfrom everything.
And, then, in your retirement
you then created a monster hit.
-Oh, thank you. Thank you.-With your star power, though,
you could have made peoplecome and watch it somewhere.
Like, you made it easy--you just put it online.
Yeah. Well,I just saw the phone,
you know,once the smartphones happened,
I thought, well,what about a show for that?
That's just for that.
So it's not meantto be watched on TV?
People are.People are watching it on TV.
But I thought,what about a pocket show?
You know what I mean?It's, like...
-it's just two guys...-(laughter)
or sometimes a woman...
and they're just talking,and we compress it,
'cause when you have your phoneyou don't want any...
there's no... nobody wants to...you got less work.
We don't do anymore work.Amazon...
-That's all of us, as people,yeah? -Yes. Amazon.com.
That was when I...I saw that.
-I go, "They're right. We..."-We don't want to click twice.
Two clicks.I don't even want it now.
-I don't want it.-(laughter)
-I don't...-Yeah, but now...
I don't want it that bad.
But the problem with--I feel like you're enabling--
'cause now the problem with thatis you've got...
-I know, I know. -hashtagactivism because of that.
-Yes, I know. -People go, "Oh,I'm part of the cause." Click.
Right. Yeah.I can't solve everything.
I'm even surprisedyou came to the show.
I-I don't knowwhat I'm doing here.
Either do I. I just...
No, I really like you.I like you.
-Thank you very much, Jerry.Thank you very much. -Yes.
-(cheering, applause, whistling)-I really appreciate that.
And we hada really cool experience.
I invited Trevor to be on myshow before he got this gig.
Yeah. A lot of peopledon't realize that.
Yeah, and it was just cool.I thought, this guy's cool,
I like this guy,I want to talk to this guy.
So he comes on,he does the show,
and in between thatand us doing the show,
he gets this, and of coursethen everybody wants him,
and it was just fun thatI caught you in that moment.
It was fun to catch youin that moment.
-Comedy. Timing.-Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
-(laughter) -And now we're here.-And now we're here.
-I'm just gonna savor thismoment for a bit. -All right.
-Ah...-Smells good in here.
-Do you wear cologne?-I wear... No.
-No?-It's all natural.
I thought I smelledsomething nice.
-That was me. But it'snot the cologne. -Oh, okay.
You're supposed to say,"Oh, I just had gas."
That's whatyou're supposed to say.
I think that's, like,an American joke. We don't...
That's a kid's joke.When you have kids,
that's... for them,that's hilarious.
The new season on Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee
is streaming nowon Crackle and...
Jerry Seinfeld, everybody.
-♪ -(cheering, applause)