Please welcome Marlon Wayans!
-♪ -(cheering, applause)
Thank you so much, man.Thank you very much, bro.
-Oh...-How you doing, brother?
-How are you doing, man?-I'm good. I'm tired, man.
You don't look tired.
Can I just say real quick,this is so weird for me.
I feel like I grew upwatching you on TV
in South Africa,and yet you still look
-exactly the same age.-(laughter)
How is that? You look evenbetter than you looked before.
I've been drinkingPharrell's juice.
-There's just certain black guysthat never age. -Yeah.
-Pharrell's one of them, right?-Me, Pharrell-- yeah--
and there's the black guysthat always look old, like...
-Flavor Flav has always...-(laughter)
he's always looked 75.
It's, like, black don't crack--unless you smoke it, you know?
Thank you so muchfor being here.
-You do work a lot...-Glad to be here.
I'm so tired...
You understand.All day long, okay, this is...
I've been answering the... I'vebeen on this promotional tour
promoting the movie, right, Fifty Shades of Black.
I have been askedthe same question
-over and over again.-You can save everyone the time.
What are the questionsyou've been asked?
-I won't ask them.-Here's the thing. No.
This one question has been..."So, are you going
to boycott the Oscars?"I'm, like, what the hell?
Because, you know, there'sbeen a whiteout at the Oscars,
-you know, no black peoplenominated. -Yeah.
And I'm just, like,you know what?
They never invitedmy black ass anyway, so yeah!
A... a boycott is easy for me!
I do scatological films!
They're never nominating Scary Movie
as anAcademy Award-winning film!
and rightfully so.
Don't ever nominate Scary Movie. Please.
But Shawnshould've been nominated!
A penis through the ear?Come on!
Oh, man. You shouldhave just played it up.
You should have been like,"I will boycott these Oscars!
I will not be goingto these Oscars!"
And then no onewould have known.
It's just messed up.It's, like, you know,
now I feel badfor all the white guys
that make decisions--they're like,
"What are you talking about?There's diversity here."
The Revenant got a lot of...lot of...
we gave ita lot of consideration.
And that black bearwas really good.
And then, you know, it's funny,'cause, like, you know,
Jade is a friend, right?So I know she can be,
like, a firecracker, you know.
Part of it is, like, you know,they're sitting there like,
"Are you madbecause Will wasn't nominated?"
I'm, like, "Well, you know,
when your husband is nominatedfor something and he don't win,
black women get upset like,"Oh, hell, nah!"
That's my baby!He deserves a nod!
I'm calling Oscar right now!
Get Oscar on the phone!
No! You madeWillow and Jaden cry!
-They never cry!-(laughter)
And Will had no idea.
He had no idea.He was, like, "I was in Europe."
So he came home,and people was like,
"Hey, man, you doing it, man.
Now, you are the man in black!"
And he's like,"What in the hell?"
And then...he sees the video online.
He's like, "No!
You did Instagram?"She goes, "No."
"Facebook? You'renot supposed to do Facebook!
Do a Snapchat video!It goes away!"
It's just a mess.
You feel very stronglyabout this.
-I've just answered the questionso many times. -So, um... Okay.
-So, then let me ask you, um...-Yes, sir.
Are you going to boycott...No, um...
let's talk about your movie.
I mean, you've been making...
My movie, after all this,
I'm gonna haveto change the name
to Fifty Shades of Kind of Black.
No, it's Fifty Shades... it's Fifty Shades of Black.
-Yeah. -And you, you worked outhard for this movie.
I was like, oh, you'rejust gonna do a spoof thing,
but then you actually...you actually turned yourself
-into, like, a good looking guy,and... -(laughter)
I'm not sayingyou weren't before,
but, I mean, you...you worked down...
you have a six-packin the movie,
-Yeah, yeah. -Like,you really took it seriously.
Because, you know,it's the actor in me--
you know,Performing Arts High School...
Look, you're in a movieand you're topless
and, you know, you're naked--I wanted to be confident.
You know what I mean?So when you work out,
you get the six-pack, you...your towel gets real small,
Like, I was in... Normally,you know, you wear a big towel,
but, you know, I worked out,abs was down to here,
I just had a little towel--everywhere I went,
I was just, like...
(sighs) What do youenjoy more right now?
'Cause you started stand-upfive years ago.
What do you enjoy more,stand-up or acting?
Um, I love stand-up,because I can act on a stage
and you get immediate response.
There's something aboutbeing connected to an audience
-Yeah. -that just... it justdoes something special to you.
You feel like you're breathing.
And I used to bereally obnoxious in real life
until I started stand-up.
Now I'm just kind of obnoxious,'cause...
'cause I get laughsfrom people, so I'm a lot less,
like, "Oh, please,like me, like me."
I'm just, like, I'vegotten cooler now. I'm cooler.
All right, Fifty Shades of Black
will be in theaterson January 29.
You can see Marlon Wayansdo stand-up
at the Orpheum Theatrein New Orleans tomorrow.
Marlon Wayans, everybody!
-♪ -(cheering, applause)