Please welcome back to the show
our friend,Keegan-Michael Key, everybody!
-♪ -(cheering, applause)
-(cheering, whooping, applause)-Ah! Ah!
(whooping with audience)
What's that? Yeah!
They're saying "who."They're saying "who."
They're saying "who"?Keegan-Michael Key.
They don't know who.They don't know who.
-That's all it means. -The Arsenio Hall Show.
I was amazed-- it was a blastfrom the past. Whoo! Whoo!
-Who? Welcome back.-Where's my dog pound?!
-Welcome back, my friend.-I just say it like...
I thought...here was what was funny to me--
at the beginning of the show,you guys-- it was so sweet--
you got so excited, you said,"From one of my favorite shows,
"ladies and gentlemen, from Key& Peele, ladies and gentlemen,
-Well, that's...-And so excited, was so excited,
-was so sweet of you to be thatflattering. -'Cause I miss you.
-I miss you, too, buddy. -We miss you. We miss your show.
-I know, I know.-(cheering, applause)
We, uh... we just, uh,I mean, Jordan and I
have been cooking up new stuff,and, uh,
-Have you? -cooking upnew stuff together. Yeah.
And, uh... but the show...the show, for us,
came to a natural end--we wanted to be...
um, we just wanted to be so veryBritish about the whole thing.
Which was like... five seasons--let's get the hell out.
You know what I mean?And, um, and...
You'll thank us now, because ifwe'd gone seven or eight seasons
you would have said,"Remember when they were funny
in the fifth season? Rememberwhen Key & Peele was still..."
That is a very British thing.
-Five seasons, you get out.-Last time we were here, though,
you... we didn't really havethe funniest time,
-No. -because that wason election night.
-That was on election night.-Yes, and, uh, Donald Trump won.
Yes, he did.And that night was, uh...
Yeah, every cupI drank out of that night
-did not have water in it.-(laughter)
What was funny is I got...I got Keegan a bottle
of whiskey backstagejust to say thank you
for coming on election night,and then the bottle...
-he didn't leave with it.-(laughter)
There was no need. Well, I did,I actually I did leave with it.
It makes a very beautiful vasein my house. It's...
Let's, uh, let's talka little bit about the, I guess,
the feeling post-show,because the reason you're here
is very special-- you'renot here for an interview,
you're here to give us a gift,which I'm really grateful for,
every single personwho's a huge fan of your show,
that was inspiredby the election.
Yes, we, um, uh, Jordan and Igot an e-mail a few weeks ago
from oneof our executive producers,
a really lovely,lovely, talented guy
by the name of Jay Martel,and he was a writer
and executive produceron the show.
And for his catharsis,he had written
a brand-new Obama/Luther,which we thought would be...
probably bethe last Obama/Luther sketch,
and asked if we wanted to do it.
We both screamed "yes,"as much as you can scream.
I mean, you can't...like, there's caps,
and then you tryto make the caps bigger
by changing the fonton your phone,
but I don't have that phone yet.So... so we...
and so we decided to makea final Obama/Luther.
-So we made a final Obama/Luthersketch... -(cheering, whooping)
we thought it only apropos, and,uh, and everybody on Twitter
was like, "What are you doing?You got to do something!
You got to do something!"So we're doing it.
So it's-it's happening...
("Hail to the Chief" playing)
Good evening,my fellow Americans.
You remember my angertranslator, Luther.
Now, I've told Lutherthat he can join me
for this last address,
but that his being on hisvery best behavior is crucial
to healing the dividein this country.
Keep in chill, Luther.
Go againstevery natural instinct
in your body.
Since we last spoke,
the country has votedfor a new president.
Here we go.
Oh, man. Come on, come on.
Really?It's all about the Trump.
How did this happen, man?
Get the (bleep) out.
Y'all gonna vote for the dude
that's gonna make Americahate again?
Don't you understand?
This is howthe Hunger Games starts.
-Now, it's true, we all haveto accept... -Damn.
...that we're gonna have someoneelse calling the shots.
Vladimir Putin, y'all.
We got a naked Russkion horseback
gonna be running the show.
Spasibo, Russian mother(bleep).
It was a close election,but the people have spoken.
Yeah. They votedfor Hillary Clinton,
but then, this outdatedelectoral college mumbo-jumbo
voodoo bull(bleep) got in there.
-It's more imperative than ever,-(in distance): Come on!
that we move onas a country united.
United in the fact that we can't(bleep) stand each other.
Even as the country adoptsnew policies, uh,
on trade, immigration...
New policy:The only good immigrant,
is a smokin' hot white one.
Who plagiarizes speeches.
I said bitch.
I have greatly enjoyed my timeas your president.
Except, when, um, you know, um,
um, let me think about it,let me think.
When the Republicans wouldn'tlet me do (bleep),
and then that one dudesaid I wasn't born here,
and then y'all elected him.
So you know what?Didn't love that part so much.
So pretty much the beginning,middle and end sucked.
I have met withPresident-elect Trump
and have pledged my supportin his transition.
He doesn't even want the job,y'all.
I saw it in his eyes.
The dude was shook.
The only reason he ran
is because his factory in China
made too many red hats.
(high-pitched voice):That's the only reason.
I assure you,
that if he succeeds,we all succeed.
Unless he succeedswith all that (bleep)
he promises to succeed with.
In that case, we're (bleep).
And now a time-cherishedtradition,
is that the outgoingpresident...
Dude, don't say "outgoing",don't say "outgoing".
Mama Sah Mu Maku Sah.
...that's me, leaves theincoming president
a little note in the deskof the Oval Office.
Of course,it's completely confidential.
Go (bleep) yourself.
Oh. That's my bad.
(cheering and applause)
To all of you out there
who are afraid that your wayof life is under attack,
remember that progressisn't always a straight line.
No. 'Cause sometimes it's a linethat goes like this.
And then just goes straight downfor 4,000 years.
And never stop standing upfor what you believe in.
Uh, yes. I would like tobook a four-year-stay
for five at the Icehotelin Sweden, please.
For Beau. I mean, y'allare gonna take Bo.
Make it six.
Thanks, America, it's been real.
It's been good.
But it ain't been real good.
Apparently,orange is the new black.
Good luck with your healthcare,assholes.
("Hail to the Chief" plays)
I got my eye on you,pussy-grabber.
(music starts again)
(cheering and applause)