-(laughter)-Please welcome Wanda Sykes!
(cheers and applause)
Oh, my God, how you doing?
-Thank you for being here.-Thank you. Thank you.
-Welcome to the show.This is fun! -I appreciate it.
Yeah. You know what?My wife is French.
And that thing with the scarf--totally true.
-Like, dead on. Dead on.-(laughter)
She has been on the beachin a bikini, a damn scarf.
Is that... is it likea fashion thing, or is it...?
I don't know what it is,
if it's, like, just partof their wardrobe, or...
I don't know. Maybeit's something, a tender....
-It's like a throat thing thatthe French have? -Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, right, right, right,'cause you don't...
Just, like, cold throat,it's just a French thing.
Yeah, maybe that's it.Maybe that's to get all that...
-(guttural): Your words,the heart. -That's probably it.
-(laughter)-That's probably it.
They got to... keep that warm.
-Oh, that thing.-Yeah.
They got to get...They got to...
(Sykes speaking French)Uh, uh.
So, if your wife is French, theFrench election must have been
a pretty big deal in your house.
Yes. Yeah, we watchedthe whole thing, yeah.
-Yeah, we watched the coverageand the speech and all. -Yeah?
And it is funny, though.
But you're right--like a reality show.
The way it just goes...(humming fanfare)
-Tada! There's your president!You know? -(laughter)
-I like that announcement today.I'm not gonna front. -Yeah.
-Yeah. It's really cool.-I liked it.
-I love it. Yeah.-It was like a totally...
Like, I feel like America shouldhave that, as well.
Just, like, have the peoplepop up, surprise you.
Yeah, right. You don't haveto be up all night
listening to Wolf Blitzerand all them pontificate.
It's 7:00, you geta new president. That's it.
7:00, a new president.
Like, they should letDrew Carey announce it,
like Let's Make a Deal.
"Door number two!"And it's, like, boom!
And it's, you know...There you go!
-I like that idea.-Could work.
-Go home,have dinner afterwards. -Yeah.
-Yeah, a new president,eat afterwards. -Yeah.
Ah, this is fun. Um, you...
Let's talk about the moviefor a little bit.
You're in this film,which looks hilarious.
I mean, you know,Amy Schumer's really funny,
you are hilariousin this, as well.
You filmed this moviein Hawaii,
but it's supposed to be setin South America, correct?
-Right, right.-Like, or Central America.
-Right. -But you're, like,outdoors the whole time.
I know you enough to knowyou're not an outdoorsy person.
-I am not an outdoorsy person.-(laughter)
I am not an outdoorsy person.
I grew up in, like,a rural part of Virginia,
so I've been outdoors enough.
We have enough money nowto be inside,
and that's where I want to stay.
Not a big outdoorsy person.
You know what's funny isthat's something you will find
almost consistently all overthe world with black people.
Black people are not like...like, longing for the outdoors.
-Right. Yeah. Yeah.-Yeah.
You know, like, um, if you goto, like, the national parks--
-which, uh, I have not...-(laughter)
That's... They needto put one inside.
but... but I notice,though, like,
-you know, you go on a coupleof hikes or whatever, -Right.
and you look, and it's, like,
I don't see any black peopleout here hiking.
If your wife is French, though,there's a good possibility,
'cause, like,French people like picnics,
they like going out,they like the walks,
-Oh, my God. -they likethe beach, they like...
-You outdoors all the timewith her? -Yes. Yes.
I mean, and... I-I'm worriedthat, uh, you know,
the kids might gettaken away from us,
because she doesn't give a damn,"You're going outside."
It could be, like,like, below freezing,
and she's like,"The kids need some air.
Go, go outside." I'm like,"It's freezing out there.
"What...? You can't sendthe kids outside.
"The neighborsare gonna call somebody.
"They're gonna come takeour kids.
What's wrong with you?"
I want to be in your household.It sounds like fun.
Yeah, she loves outside.Picnics,
-there's always a picnicgoing on. -Right.
Yeah, she loves that.
-Yeah. The, uh,the-the-the, uh, administration
that we're faced with now is onethat you're not a stranger to.
I follow your tweets, and, uh,like, you are deep into poli...
-Like, you are watchingwhat's happening. -Yeah.
You're commentingon what's happening.
-You were watching theSally Yates thing today. -Oh!
Sally Yates gave thema beatdown today.
-(cheering, applause)-Oh, my God!
Oh, Sally Yates, she slappedthe (bleep) out of Ted Cruz,
the-the-the senator from Texas,
uh, uh, "Coryn,"whatever his name is.
Oh, my God.She just had him like,
"Um, uh, uh...(stammering gibberish)."
And she was, like,"No, what I said was,
I said it was unlawful."
She didn't do this,but I saw it in my mind.
-(laughter, applause)-She was like, "What I said,
"it was unlawful.
That's what I said."
-Oh, man. -And the guy...and the senator from Louisiana,
oh, he got so flabbergasted.
At one point it looked likehe turned into Colonel Sanders,
and he was like,"Well, uh, lookee here, missy,
"uh, hold on, hold on,now, missy...
we don't have no galtalk up here like that."
You know, it...it was beautiful!
It was beaut... They didn't knowwhat to do with that woman.
She was so cool,and they-they just lost it.
They were just--ah, it was beautiful.
-It was beautiful. I loved it.-Oh, man.
I feel like we need to start,like, just, like,
a "Wanda Sykes Tells YouWhat Happened in Politics."
-(cheering)-I've never heard a hearing...
I've never, ever heard a hearingsound that exciting.
As someonewho's watching everything,
what are the thingsyou're most concerned about
in this upcoming administration,and what are the things
you're most, uh, I guess,uh, well, enthusiastic for?
Where do you go like,"This is where my hope lies"?
My hope lies, uh, is that...
I think within, like,the next two weeks,
uh, Maxine Watersis gonna head-butt Paul Ryan.
-(laughter)-Just... just a mm!
Just to give him a good...a head-butt.
That's what...that's what I'm hoping for.
-(laughter)-That would be the greatest...
-Yeah.-Your lips to God's ears.
That'll be... honestly,Wanda, that'll be, like...
-Can you imagine her...-Yeah.
Like, she's talking and justgets a little too close,
and she just mm!Give him a nice...
-That'd be great.-Oh, man.
I was gonna ask youso many things.
I just want to hang out with youall night now. This is...
She's one of the funniest peopleI've ever come across.
Snatched is in theaters May 12.
Wanda Sykes, everybody.Thank you so much, Wanda.
-♪ -(cheering, applause)