-Yeah! -Welcome back.I'm here with my panel.
First up, Nightly Show contributor Bobby Gaylor.
(cheering and applause)
And Nightly Show contributorGrace Parra.
(cheering and applause)
And author, sex columnist,and podcaster Dan Savage.
-GAYLOR: Yeah!-(cheering and applause)
And for everyone at home,join our conversation right now
on Twitter, @NightlyShow,using the hashtag, #Tonightly.
Okay, so I have to give youa little context.
We really wanted to do... Weknew Dan was coming on the show
and said, "Let's just havea sex panel and talk about sex."
We got Dan... Grace actuallydoes a sex, uh, talk show
-in L.A. sometimes, right?-Yes. Yes. It's at UCB.
-It's, like, a comedy talk show,right? -It's called Lady/Freak.
-Yep. -And Bobby Gaylor, I'veknown Bobby for years and years,
and no one hasa more unique take on sex.
WILMORE:Twisted... twisted is
the right word,so this'll be fun.
All right, so here's whatI want to throw out to you guys.
So, we just read this articlethat says, uh,
"Why Smarter PeopleHave Less Sex."
-All right.-PARRA: Well.
All right, stay with me here.
It cited studies that show
people with the highestintelligence
are havingthe least amount of sex.
I don't understand that.So, basically,
dumb people are having allthe sex, I guess, you know.
-I guess. -I've always thoughtof myself as smart, but
looking back, it kind of makessense now, 'cause I think, uh...
-It sounds to me like these werestudies that were done... -Yeah.
...by peoplewho were very smart--
-you got to be smartto do a study... -WILMORE: Yeah.
...who weren't getting laidand wanted to justify that...
-PARRA: Sure, exactly right.-WILMORE: Exactly.
...in a way that made it seemlike kind of a compliment?
-It's... -I know plenty of smartpeople who get laid.
Yeah, well, Einstein-- he was,like, a horn dog, wasn't he?
-He was like a...-Was he?
-Never sucked my (bleep).-Yeah, yeah, I can believe that.
Well, I think it's weirdthat they're afraid
to have sex because they might
-miss out on studies, and that'swhy I think... -PARRA: Yeah.
...doggy style isthe perfect position
to learnand have sex at the same time.
(applause and cheering)
You can have all your booksout in front of you.
SAVAGE: Yeah, there are somestudies that show that people
who have higher IQs delay,they call it "sexual debut."
-The first time you have sex.-GAYLOR: Sexual debut?
Not "losing your virginity."Your "debut."
-Such a nice term. "Sexualdebut." -PARRA: I love that.
-You're a sexual debutante.-Excuse me.
Uh, have you madeyour sexual debut?
SAVAGE: And there are studiesthat show that kids who are
-smarter wait longer beforehaving sex. -WILMORE: Uh-huh.
And probably because they havea better accurate read
on the potential consequences.
WILMORE:Are they more scared, or...?
-Or they might have...-I'm guilty of this, by the way.
-Yeah. -But I also wentto an all-girl Catholic school,
-so that explains a lot of it.-WILMORE: Oh, okay.
-GAYLOR: Uh, tell us more.-Oh, sure, sure, sure.
-SAVAGE: I went to an all-boysCatholic school. -Did you?
-And we were all doing it, so...-(cheers and applause)
There was no waitingat an all-boy Catholic school.
That's exactlythe perfect distinction
-between boys and girls.-Yeah.
If you couldn't find a boyyour age who wanted to do it,
-there were plenty of priestsrambling around. -Oh!
Sex was happening at some point.
-(audience groaning)-Wow! -I've fortunately...
-That's where you learn the goodstuff. -That's right.
I think I've grown to the pointwhen now I feel
like sex is like breakfast.
It's... I think it's the mostimportant part of the day.
-WILMORE: Uh-huh.-You can skip it,
-but you're gonna be cranky allday if you do. -WILMORE: Yeah?
That's, uh, also somethingthat counts...
I'm cranky right now.
Dan, why do you think it's so...why do you think
it's so difficultfor people to talk about sex,
especially in relationships?
SAVAGE:Well, talking about it
in the context of a relationshipis really consequential.
-You know, all people fearrejection. -WILMORE: Yeah.
But if you tell the truth aboutwho you are sexually...
-WILMORE: Yeah. -...to somebodythat you want to be there
for you romantically orintimately or as a life partner,
you risk losing themif your stuff ain't their stuff.
Or if your stuff is a libidokiller for them...
-Yeah.-...they're gonna walk.
So people are oftenmuch freer being honest
-about what they want to dosexually... -WILMORE: Right.
-...with a sex worker or with aone-night stand. -PARRA: Yeah.
With somebody they're likelyto never see again,
-they'll be completely honest.-Yeah. -Yeah, it's...
With someone they're datingor they're married to--
-they hold it... -WILMORE:it seems counter-intuitive.
-It totally does. -Right. -Itdoes, 'cause you should want...
-I love you, but I'm telling younothing. -Yeah. -Right.
You should want to...
You don't want to wind upmarried to somebody who doesn't
want to do in the sack whatyou want to do in the sack.
-PARRA: Right. -So thatrejection you fear
-you should welcome.-WILMORE: Yeah.
Because if you lay it out,and they're gone,
they were the wrong person.
WILMORE: But meanwhile,you're not doing it
because you haven'tsaid anything, right?
There's no good time to bring up
-sex notes to somebody.It's like... -WILMORE: Yeah.
-...what do you do-- right aftersex? -SAVAGE: Three months.
-WILMORE: Is it worse...?-PARRA: Three months?
-Three months.-WILMORE: Is it worse for a...?
-Oh, three months? Really?-SAVAGE: Yeah.
PARRA: That was a very specificamount of time.
GAYLOR:I like that man.
Yeah, yeah,you demonstrate to them
that you're good at,like, general sex...
-Uh-huh. That's hilarious,right. -...vanilla sex.
-Everything offthe regular menu. -Really funny.
Column A, column B sex,
oral and vaginal, anal,and then, at three months,
you're, like,"Look, I'm really good
"at everything you like,you're really good at...
Here's column C.Here's the crazy."
Wait. We didn't just coverall of it just now?
-No! Oh, my God, no.-PARRA: There's a third...
-Oh, my God!-(applause)
-GAYLOR: Right. Yeah. Yeah.-WILMORE: We're about
-to make our kinky debut.-Right. Yes.
-(laughter) -SAVAGE: Everybody'sgot at least one kink.
-Everybody's got a column Cthing. -GAYLOR: Absolutely.
-PARRA: That's true. Mm-hmm.-At least one.
-GAYLOR: And men don't care,I think. -WILMORE: Right.
A lot of times, women will--
-since they're afraid to askyou... -WILMORE: Yeah.
Then, all of a sudden,they'll get to a point where,
you're in bed, and they'll be,like, "Do you like this?
What about this? Do you likethis?" You're, like, "Yeah.
"Shut up. I like it all.Just keep going.
Give me a cowboy kidney punch.I don't give a (bleep)."
The classic cowboy kidney punch.
"If I'm gonna have an orgasm,you can do anything."
Are there different rulesin the gay community?
Like in roles in sexand that type of thing?
Normally, you hear about ittalked in male
-and female terms-- men likethis women like this. -Right.
How is it talked aboutin the gay community?
How does it break down?Like, bears like this...
What gay people haveover straight people...
Well, our super power,
the reason we're better at sexthan straight people are...
-WILMORE: Gay people?-GAYLOR: Whoa! -PARRA: Yeah.
And it's not becausewe're magic. We're that, too.
This has nothing to do with it.
We're better at sexbecause we...
WILMORE: Wait.There are magical Negroes, too.
-That's true.-GAYLOR: Yes!
If you could only bring, like,both together in the same movie.
-There you go. -Yeah, it'ssomething we have in common.
-Yeah. -And some of thosemagical negroes are also gay,
-'cause they're... -Exactly,right, right. -Doubly blessed.
-Gay people are compelled tocommunicate. -WILMORE: Uh-huh.
We're forcedto communicate in a way
-that straight peoplecan opt out of. -PARRA: Right.
-WILMORE: Oh, okay. That'sinteresting. -Like, when a man
and a woman go to bed together,what's gonna happen next?
They usually getto consent and stop talking
-about what they're gonna do.-Right.
They get to yes, and there'sgonna be vaginal intercourse.
-That is straight sex.-Yeah.
Two dudes get to "yes,"
and they look at each otherlike, now what?
-PARRA: Right. -Like,you have to keep talking.
We don't have the tab A,slot B default.
-PARRA: Right. -We got two tabsand two slots,
and who's gonna...who's gonna tab who?
-Right. That's hilarious.-PARRA: I think that's awesome.
-(applause and cheering)-I think that's awesome.
-What? -PARRA: Yeah!I think it's great!
Doesn't seems like a big problemfor me.
Because, you know, on the flipside of it is...
-And this is a problem...-WILMORE: Oh, on the flip side.
-Yeah.-Well, when... when... when...
We were talkingabout porn earlier today, too.
-WILMORE: Oh, yes. -The problemwith porn is that it feels like,
especially in heterosexual porn,porn ends when the man finishes.
-WILMORE: Right.-It's like a patriarchy.
-Someone applauded that.-SAVAGE: Yeah. -GAYLOR: Yes.
But I think... I think...
-That is the truth. -I don'tknow if that was a woman.
Thank you, porn. Thank you.
-I have to say, as a gay man,though... -Yeah, yeah.
One of the thingsthat's kind of a relief
when you're, like, gay, is,like, he just had his orgasm.
-My work here is done.-Yes, right.
And with women, like,the orgasm can be hidden,
-it can be faked.-Yes, it can.
And she can have potentiallylimitless orgasms,
so you never knowwhen you're done.
WILMORE:Guys are like, "Come on!"
It such a reliefto be a homo.
You're like, "I (bleep),you (bleep), TV."
-GAYLOR: Right. Yeah.-Right.
-Teamwork and Netflix.-"Let's watch Larry."
-Yeah.-There you go.
Men are already thinking thatwith women, anyway.
"Like, the game's on. How long
-is this gonna take?"-PARRA: Right, right.
All right, we'll be right backright after this.
(applause and cheering)
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