Okay, welcome back.I'm here with my panel.
First up, Nightly Show contributor Rory Albanese.
-Yeah.-(applause and cheering)
And Nightly Show contributorHolly Walker.
(applause and cheering)
And his new movie, Fifty Shades of Black,
opens this Friday, January 29,comedian,
very talented actorMarlon Wayans.
(applause and cheering)
And for everyone at home,
join our conversation right nowon Twitter @NightlyShow
using the hashtag #Tonightly.
Okay, so, I have to talkabout Trump's statement
from this weekend, that he couldshoot someone on 5th Avenue...
ALBANESE:Oh, my God.
...and not lose any voters.
I agree with Trump.
Well, okay, Larry, 5th Avenueis a very long street.
Like, if he shot someonearound Tiffany,
he might be ableto get away with it.
But if he shot someoneup in Spanish Harlem,
he might get shot back.
-ALBANESE: That's true.-You know?
But his supporters...
He may... in certain partsof, like, Red Hook
-in the Bronx...-WILMORE: Sure.
...he actuallymay get some more voters
'cause he got street cred now.
-Yo, Trump shot somebody!-ALBANESE: Yeah.
WILMORE:Exactly. It will...
It will work out to his benefit.
I agree, though.It depends on who...
'Cause, like,Abercrombie & Fitch is there,
and you shoot oneof those shirtless guys,
I feel like,you're-you're president.
You know what I mean?Like, nobody likes those guys.
-Exactly. -Standing off to theside with... in the winter
-with no shirt on. -But as sillyas it is, he could...
-With a six-pack-- how dare you?-With a six-pack--
how... Who do you think you are?-Who do you think you are?
What y'all... Hell, I'll punchyou in the stomach.
I am okay with that, guys,I am okay with that.
That... Those guys are,like, bulletproof anyway.
No, it's... it does feel likehe could do anything egregious
and people just don't care.I just don't understand it.
I don't know what this pheno...
I've never seenanything like this.
He's like a bad guyin wrestling, you know?
The more despicable they are,
-the more you chant,"USA! USA! USA!" -Right, right.
Hasn't he done that?Hasn't he gone to WWE and, like,
-been the bad guy?-Yeah, no, he was.
He's, like, wrestled...He's-he's, like,
actually gotten in the ring.And it makes sense
-that the president woulddo that. -One of the debates...
One of the debates, uh...
One of the debates, he hitChris Christie with a chair.
-I think.-Yeah, that's right.
-Yeah.-I think. I think it was
-one of the debates.-Hit him with a chair.
-I'm pretty sure.-Oh, they don't let them sit
at the debates.They have to stand.
-But what gets me, also...-Trump don't debate.
-I know. -He justroasts the other guy, like...
-He does. -He just...You know, it... -He's like,
-humiliating people.-He's crazy.
-I know. -Hey, yeah,Hillary, that's why
your husband bangs other men!
-Other women!-I like where you...
That's... She's even...She's like,
"Well, that's his business."
-Yeah. I like... -It takes himback... -Are you advi...
Are you advising himfor the general campaign?
-Exactly.-You know, Trump...
Trump scares me'cause he talks like he got...
-He talks like he got a gun.Like... -What do you mean?
-What do you mean? -He talkslike he's not afraid of nothing.
Like, "I dare youto say something,
-I'll-I'll bust a capin your ass." -Okay. Like...
-He just talks that way.-You think
-he's packing at the debates.-He's packing.
-Really? -He has to be. I thinkhe got snipers everywhere,
the way he be talking (bleep).He has to.
Or he can pay for someoneto get rid of you.
He got the sniper in his hair.Like, "I dare you, go ahead."
-WALKER: It's a little...-ALBANESE: Makes it so tiny.
-He just pops up.-WALKER: Little tiny sniper.
ALBANESE:He's just a tiny little sniper.
No, he... And they're wearingone... they're wearing one
of those sniper suits, you know?Like where they go invisible?
-His, like, hair.-Yeah, it's just-it's just
made out of his hair.That's an amazing...
I also feel like Trumpgoes out of his way to tell us
exactly who he is. He says,"No, America, I am a sexist.
"Look what I said about MegynKelly. No, no, no, listen to me.
"I'm a racist. Ban all Muslims.
-Mexicans-- rapists. Why aren'tyou listening to me?" -Yeah.
How come peopledon't believe him
-when he keeps trying to tell uswho he is? -No, I... I think
the scary part is they doand he's winning.
-Yes, that is correct.-That's the scary part, yeah.
I feel like a lot of peoplein this country are like,
"It's about time."You know what I mean?
Why I made that guy Southern...I apologize. But the point is...
the point is, Larry...
-WILMORE: Sure.-I'm assuming he is.
The point is... No, I-I thinkit... That's, to me,
-what the scariest part is, ishe's being... -WILMORE: Uh-huh.
I... Here's what's weirderthan anything:
everything Obama said for eightyears, they compared him
-to Hitler. Everything.-WILMORE: Right.
And it doesn't matterwhat he did. They were like,
"This guy's Hitler."O... Trump is standing
in front of large groupsof white people with bad hair
yelling about getting ridof races of people from
this country. No one's callinghim Hitler. That seems odd.
This seems like the timeto bring out the Hitler analogy.
Yeah, but hold on,Rory, hold on.
-It does.-But Rory...
-I mean, look...-Rory, but Rory...
-In all fairness to Hitler...-I agree, I agree.
-But Rory, your Hitler analogystarts with bad hair? -Yeah.
-Yeah. No, Hitler had...-It's true-- the crazier
-they are,the worse the haircut.
Hitler's haircut was wack.His fade was...
-All of his hair was crazy.-So Supercuts.
-'Cause his... -All of his hairwas crazy. -Look at that dude
in-in Korea. His Supercut--it's a little crazy.
All of his hair, he had hair...And, all of it, it was crazy.
Yeah, he had, like, a, like,a lemon tree thing going on.
You feel hair was at the rootof Hitler's problem?
-No, I think it was crazyand then... -Grooming.
...the crazy reflects your hair,'cause you stop caring
-about that first. -It does.It's like there's toxics
in your brainthat make the hair go crazy.
WILMORE: Charlie Chaplinlooked the same way.
-ALBANESE: I don't know. I mean,if he ran for president we'd be
having a different conversation.-WAYANS: His was friendly crazy.
Yeah. Well, he had the mustache,
-but not actually the hair.-Yeah. Yeah, he didn't...
He wore a hat a lot.You know, I don't know.
If you put a little haton Hitler,
-it's not as intimidating.It's not as... -Yeah.
-Give him a hat and a cane.-Do that little thing
and people... You know,he's not as intimi...
What also gets me about Trumpis that he's so impulsive.
He just-he just acts, you know?
Do we really want a presidentthat that's impulsive?
-Well, we're all...-Next to the button.
We're all impulsive.I-I don't think we want
someone that is that impulsive,but Americans are impulsive.
Like, that's why there's thoselittle impulsive grocery store
tidbits are in the line when yougo in there, because people
are impulsive. Like, I'vepurchased far too many PayDays
on an impulse. Like, that's...that's what we do as Americans.
-You think people relate tothat. -Yeah,
-they relate to that. -We'regonna get so many PayDays.
-Why do they relate toeverything he does? -But it's...
-it's not a nuclear button.-That is correct.
That's the one time you probablywouldn't be impulsive.
-That is correct.-People on the Family Feud--
-they think before they go,"Oh!" -Yeah, exactly. -Yeah.
-Exactly. -He would not do that.He, "Aah! Oh, (bleep)."
-Oh, my God. Jesus Christ.-I don't have an answer.
-WILMORE: The Family Feud. -By the way, the button...
the new button's exactly thesame as the Family Feud button.
-Lot of people don't know that.-Are you talking about
-the Family Feud button?-Yeah, yeah.
"And the secretary of defenseis... Survey says?"
And right after,you hit it. That's...
Last thing. Marlon, what is"Make America Great Again"?
What does that mean to youwhen you hear that?
Uh, when I hear that,it scares me.
It depends on what kind of greatAmerica are we talking out?
Because if it's, uh, pre-1964...
I don't know if I wantto be a part of that America.
-But that period between1864 and 1964... -No, e-exactly.
And 1964, exactly. I don'twant to be a part of it.
I want nothing to do with it.
We'll see.We'll be right back.
-♪ -(cheering, applause)
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