-(applause and cheering)-Welcome back.
Though Trump keeps gainingamong Republican voters,
one conservative magazine issmearing the GOP frontrunner.
MAN:The influential National Review
is unveiling a special issue
that opposes Trump's runfor the White House.
Inside, a blistering editorialcalls Trump,
"A menaceto American conservatism."
Wow. A menaceto American conservatism.
And this is the magazine thatcalled Sarah Palin "The One."
-(laughter and groaning)-Yeah. Yeah.
All right, so,why does the National Review
see Trump more clearlythan so many Republican voters?
Well, we thoughtwe'd take a closer look
with our Nightly Show optics examination,
brought to you by Warby Parker.
"Warby Parker: get more eyesfrom your four eyes!"
All right, to help mewith today's exam,
please welcome our newnightly show optics expert,
real-life eye surgeonand Kentucky senator Rand Paul.
(cheers and applause)
All right.Welcome to the show, Rand.
Have a seat.
(cheers and applause)
Our crowd. Oh, yeah.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thanks. Uh, thanksfor taking the time
to be on our... our... beingour Nightly Sh optics expert.
Okay, so, uh, I mean, I assumed
you'd be too busywith the presidential debates.
And I'm gonna be,like, a correspondent, right?
Uh, Larry, you're breaking upa little bit. Could you...?
-WILMORE: No, no, no,you're sitting right here. -No?
Oh, I'm right herebeing the... Okay.
WILMORE: Yeah. Exactly.Uh, okay, so...
So, now,as an eye surgeon, uh...
uh, what's your takeon Donald Trump?
-(laughter)-Well, you know, Larry,
have you ever had a speckof dirt fly into your eye?
Yeah, I mean,that's really annoying, yup.
Might even make you cry.
Sure. Sure.I'm with you.
-But if the dirt doesn't goaway... -WILMORE: Mm-hmm.
...it'll keep scratching awayat your cornea
until it eventually blinds youwith all its filth, and then,
it makes fun of you on CNN.
Think you got a little personalin there, uh...
I got it. So you're sayingthe eye is a conservative voter,
and Donald Trump isthe speck of dirt, right?
-No, Larry.-WILMORE: Uh-uh?
Donald Trump isa delusional narcissist
and an orange-faced windbag.
-(laughter and groaning)-WILMORE: Huh.
(applause and cheering)
A speck of dirt is waymore qualified to be president.
-(applause and cheering)-Well said.
Our new correspondent,Rand Paul, everybody.
Thank you. You're breaking upa bit, Larry.
-WILMORE: No, you don't haveto do that. -Oh, I'm sorry.
Well, thanks for having funwith us.
Do you have time to answera couple questions, actually?
That-that was very good.Did you have fun doing it?
If... Are they easy... easyquestions? -Very easy questions.
-All right, all right.-Uh, this is very easy.
Why are you runningin the Republican Party?
I don't understand that.
I mean, you're pro-weed.
-Uh, you're like...-No, no, no.
-I'm just not anti-weed.-No, you're pro-weed. You're...
No, no, no,I'm just not anti-weed.
-No, no. No, no, no, no, no.-Okay. Whatever you say.
You-you help peoplewith their glaucoma.
-You're pro-weed, right? Okay.-(laughter)
Anti-prison industrial complex.
You've talked, uh, veryeloquently about prison reform.
Is there, like, a middle ground
-of people that you're lookingfor... -Well...
...that aren't Republican,aren't Democrat?
Are there people in there?Like, huge...?
There are people from both sidesthat we're trying to get.
From the right, there are peoplewho believe in economic liberty.
From the left, there are peoplewho believe in personal liberty.
And really what we're tryingto do is join liberty together
to say, you know what?Across the board,
-government ought to stay outof your life. -WILMORE: Uh-huh.
Jeb Bush said he'd go back intime and kill baby Hitler, okay?
Um, would you go back in time
and stop baby Trumpfrom being born?
You know, I'm not sure I wouldsay that Trump is Hitler.
-Goebbels maybe.-WILMORE: I'm not saying that.
Goebbels maybe,but I'm not saying Hitler.
-I'm not going there.-Really? So, you're really...
You're going there, then.
No, no, no.I've said he wasn't Hitler.
-WILMORE: No, you just wentthere. -No, no, no, I...
I steadfastly said he wasnot Hitler, but maybe Goebbels.
But I have seriouslycompared him to Gollum
from The Lord of the Rings.
Yes, I understandwhere Gollum is from, right.
-You know, "My precious."-Yes.
You know, the ring,the ring of power.
That's very scary whatyou just did, by the way.
-Yeah, I know. I know.-(laughter)
-But what I've been tryingto tell people... -Yes.
-What worries mostabout Trump... -What is that?
...other than allof the other crazy things
is that I believe thathe wants power, and I believe,
from my point of view,that power corrupts,
and that the whole purposeof our founding fathers
and our country wasto contain power.
The Constitution was to restrainthe size of government...
-WILMORE: Mm-hmm.-...and keep power at a minimum.
And I don't want powerto gravitate
to a Republican or a Democrat.
-Yes, go ahead.-(applause and cheering)
You are certainlyyour own candidate.
You don't... you don't seemto follow any side.
You follow your own path, andI think that's really something.
All right, are you readyto play Keep It 100?
To answera Keep It 100 question?
-That. Okay.-(applause and cheering)
-PAUL: Was I really goodat this game? -Yes. No.
-You have to do this.-Oh, yeah.
You have to keep your answer100% real.
Ready? Okay,other than Donald Trump--
you can't mention Trump, okay--
who is the biggest dick
of all the GOP candidatesright now?
And I know you have an answer.
Larry, I thinkyou're breaking up here.
-Um, can you, uh, help us,uh...? -WILMORE: Who is it?
-Come on. Who is it?-(audience shouting out)
You know, before...
Just say Ted Cruz. Just say it.
He's the biggest tool, right?
Just say,"Ted Cruz is a tool, Larry."
-Yeah.-Just say that.
-See, before we came on here...-Just say, Ted Cruz is a tool.
Please, just say it. Justsay it, damn it! Just say it!
Before we came on here...
-Before... before... -WILMORE:Just say Ted Cruz is a tool.
-Ah.-Rand Paul, everybody!
-That's all we got.-(applause and cheering)
-He's got to take all the tea.-Thank you.