Welcome back. I'm herewith my panel. First up,
Nightly Show contributorRicky Velez.
And Nightly Show contributorMike Yard.
And he's the writer-at-largefor New York magazine,
-Rembert Browne.-(cheering and applause)
(chuckles)And for everyone at home,
join our conversation right nowon Twitter, @NightlyShow,
using the hashtag, #Tonightly.
Okay, so tonight I want to talkabout, uh, Ted Cruz's comments
to Donald Trumpabout New Yorkers, okay?
I think most people know exactlywhat New York values are--
socially liberal or pro-abortionor pro-gay marriage,
focused around moneyand the media.
New York is a great place.It's got great people.
When the World Trade Centercame down,
I saw something that no placeon Earth
could have handledmore beautifully,
more humanely than New York.
Okay, now Trump actually makesa good point,
and, trust me, I was throwing upin my mouth as I said that.
I never thoughtI would say that, but he...
'Cause people on the extremeright, they act like New York...
like New York City isn't partof America.
Then something tragic happens,and those same pe...
-same people are like, "We'reall New Yorkers." -YARD: Yeah.
-Is that (bleep) or what?-It's all (bleep).
All these... It's (bleep).And they all...
They constantly do it.
Uh, you know,"New York is not America.
We live in the real America."
Well, then you needto tell these terrorists
that they keep missingthe real America...
-Exactly. It's true.-(cheering and applause)
...and hitting New York City.
They got to get their-their aim
-a little better, right?-Exactly.
(bleep) centerof the bull's-eye,
-and they keep missing.They keep hitting us. -Yeah.
-But we're not America, youknow? -Terrorists ain't in Tulsa
-hitting up the food court.-There you go. Exactly.
-C-Can I... can I defend...-Yes.
-can I defend Ted Cruz, whichalso made me -Yes. Absolutely.
-throw up in my mouth? Uh...-Yes.
-So, I-I was in Iowa last week,-Mmm.
-and I went toa Donald Trump rally. -Uh-huh.
-And I was, uh, oneof two black people -Mm-hmm.
maybe in Iowabut also definitely in, uh...
at that rally. And that...
So you-you were one or twoof the blacks.
Of the blacks. Of the...of the back... black...
black del-delegation.And at that moment,
I had never felt like moreof a New Yorker.
And I was like,"Maybe New York isn't America."
Like, because I felt likethis... I, l... I was like,
"I'm in America right now.Maybe where I'm from
-isn't America." -Well,it's a different... Go ahead.
I'm just, like, so New Yorkabout it.
I'm treatingthese Republican candidates
like crazy people on the train.You just got to let them talk
-and talk and talk.-Put your headphones in.
And sooner or later, they out.
-They'll get off.-Well... Okay, so-so remember,
part of what Ted Cruz saysNew York values were
were pro-abortion, pro-gaymarriage, focusing on money
and media-- which, to me,is code word for "Jews."
-Right? -Yes. -Yeah,that's what it sounded like.
So basically he's sayingwomen's issues,
-gay people,and Jews are bad values. -Yeah.
But who is he to tell usabout issues?
-This dude was born in Canada!-Like...
They (bleep) bacon!
How do you (bleep) bacon?!
-We got to get him out of here.-How do you (bleep) bacon?!
-That's true. That'sa very good point. -He's done.
-I-I had not considered that.-Listen, listen,
the day I find out that I don'tshare the same values of Ted...
as Ted Cruz, I'm good with that.I'm fine.
-Yeah. That's good.You're right. -Yeah.
I don't lay awake at nightgoing, "Damn,
-how can I be more likeTed Cruz?" That's not... -Yeah.
-that's not a part of my thing.-I'm trying to be like Ted, yo.
-You know? -Well, what areNew York values to you guys?
-Um...-Mind your damn business.
-Uh, yeah. -That-That'sa good New York value.
It's mind your damn business,don't go to Times Square,
don't eat dollar pizza.That's, like, how...
-(cheering and applause)-We're just... -No, wait,
-don't eat dollar pizza?Oh, man. -Yeah.
And-and stop standing stillon the sidewalk
to watch skyscrapers.It's a sidewalk,
-not a (bleep) side-gawk.-Okay.
-Not a side-stand. Move.-Very good.
-These are good American values.-Exactly. Good America...
I got (bleep) to do.Get out of my way.
Well, it interests me...uh, it's interesting
that you were out at an eventlike that,
because, um, to me,it-it feels like...
I mean, it seems like someon the extreme right
-on the social issues,-Mm-hmm.
I feel like they're gettingleft behind.
I mean, there are so many,like, young people,
millennials that are taking upthe voting blocs
and are coming morein the future.
Like, Obama wouldn't have beenelected 20 years ago,
but now he... that kindof person can get elected.
So I feel like this whole groupis being left behind
when they talk about things likeNew York values and gay marriage
and trying to actlike that's a bad thing.
I-I... My takeawaywhen I walked out of that gym,
it was kind of, like, wantingto call my mom and let her know
that I was still alive,was, uh, that...
How'd they fit... how'd they fit20,000 people in a gym?
-He said there was 20,000...-Always claims.
...um, how... I left thinking,
"Wow, I think someone like Cruz,someone like Donald Trump,
"they think, like,'Maybe if we could just convince
"'every white personto vote for me,
-I'll get to be president.'"-I feel it's more
of a cultural dividemore than even a racial thing.
I think there's...I think Trump actually will get
-some black votes out there.I really do. -Yeah, eight.
I don't know these black peopleyou're talking about.
Well, because I think a lotof people don't view Trump
as a politician. They say,"Oh, yeah, Donald Trump, yeah."
-Yeah, but it's hard to get overthe racist part. -Yeah.
If-if you knowabout the racist part.
-Who doesn't know by now?-How do you not know
-about the racist part?-He came out racist!
If you don't know he's racistby now, something's wrong.
-Your headphones on the subway,they're still in. -Yeah, really.
-Listen, I'm... I let...Let them do what they do. -Yeah.
Let Trump say what he wantsto say, let Cruz say
what he wants to say. Thatjust makes it easier for them
-not to be president. -Okay,let me ask you... I feel...
Who would be worse?Who would be worse?
Wait, hold on. Who would beworse, Cruz or Trump?
To me, it seems like Cruz wantsto turn the clock back 50 years.
It seems like Trumpis just a broken clock
that happens to be righttwice a day.
I just... Is there...
You're asking me to pick betweenTed Cruz and Donald Trump?
Yeah. Come on, man,it's America.
Is there another option, likeshooting myself in the face?
There you go.
Do you have an extra bullet?
-Because I'm right behind you,son. -It'll just go through
-your...-We should do a triple...
-I-I'll go first. -I can't pickeither one of them, Larry.
I think Cruz is worse.I genuinely do.
-You think Cruz is worse?-'Cause I think Trump
-is, like, a professional troll.-Yeah.
-And I think, like...I-I think, like, -Yeah.
three years ago, he was a...probably a Democrat.
-Yeah. -You know? Because it wasconvenient. -He was, actually.
-And now he's a...-He was whatever was expedient
-to getting deals done.-If you were like,
"Tomorrow, you gotto be a giraffe," he's like,
-"I am running on the giraffeparty." -I agree with that.
We'll be right back!