All right, welcome back!I'm here with my panel.
First up, Nightly Show contributor Jordan Carlos.
And Nightly Show contributorGrace Parra.
And he will record his thirdhour-long standup special
on July 9 at the Hanna Theatrein Cleveland,
very funny comedian,Tom Papa's back.
-CARLOS: Yes.-(cheering, applause)
For everyone at home,join our conversation right now
on Twitter @NightlyShowusing the hashtag #Tonightly.
Well, it's Monday-- as muchas I'd like to ignore Trump,
-I just can't.-(laughter)
But his campaign seemsto be falling apart.
He fired his campaign manager,Corey Lewandowski.
He's polling lower than anygeneral election candidate has
in the last three elections.
And he only... I said earlier,he only has, like,
30 people working for him!
I mean, to me,he behaves like someone
who doesn't really wantto be elected.
And there were, like,all these conspiracy theories.
Does he really wantto be president?
I was thinking the same thing.When he started,
I was like,what does he need this for?
He's got great homes all over.
His wife doesn't wantto live in the White House.
-That would be horrible!-(laughter)
-PARRA: Great closet space,though. -Yeah.
So, I was like, he... I reallyfelt like every time he would
go to a press conferencehe was telling his wife,
"Don't worry,I'm gonna end it tonight."
WILMORE:Yes, right, yes.
"I'm gonna say something so badit's gonna bl...
I'm gonna kill it." And thenhe would walk out and say
"I told the popeto go screw himself."
And he comes backthree hours later,
"They like me more."-Yeah. -I know.
"They like me more."
I don't know, man. I don't knowif he wants to be president,
but I think he wants to becrowned king, it seems like.
Like, I mean, he's...Look at him.
Like, he-he definitely lookslike he has gout.
-Gout? -You know, like a...like a-like a king would,
-you know what I mean?-Gout!
I-If he had the crownon his head it would, like,
keep his hair down,at least, you know?
He's got a closetfull of velvet capes, for sure.
-Is he a hemophiliac as well?-Yeah, yeah, he's a hemophiliac.
I mean, he's into gold.He is definitely into gold.
There's some inbreedingin the Trump family for sure.
-(audience groans) -Thisall-this all supports... Oh.
-We draw the line at inbreeding.-That was the line.
That was the line.Now we know. Thanks. guys.
But Tom, you're right.You're right, Tom-- he's done
so many egregious things andhis numbers kept just going up.
Do you... Are people stillwaiting for what they think
is-is the one thingto disqualify him?
And if... And I don't know whatthat would be at this point.
-No, I-I really think...-Or they don't care.
No, I think they do care.I think-I think
the party's splitting,I think there's a lot
of really responsible peoplethat are saying that
they can't back him. I thinkit's just the weight of it.
It's like a boatand it just had a lot of holes
and it's juststarting slowly to sink.
It wasn't one big torpedo,it was just a slowly going down.
And it's... it really...And-and I...
you almost feelfor the rest of the party,
especially the responsible oneswho have a... who have an agenda
and really want to do something,'cause they, like, talk to him
and they're like,"Will you pl..."
It's like kind of runninga toddler,
like a two-year-old...as president.
'Cause they're like, all right,is he gonna behave?
He looks like he's gonna behave.He said he's gonna behave.
And then youget into the restaurant
and he just startsthrowing glasses
CARLOS:You have to apologize for him.
-Yeah, you have to apologize.-(cheering, applause)
WILMORE: Right.And it's like, but someone
brought that toddler into therestaurant, that's the thing.
PARRA: That's the thing, Larry.I have a hot take on this:
I am no so sure that we don't want Trump to be president.
-I think we're a sick people.-Um, I'm sure that we don't.
I don't know, Larry.I think there's a little...
there's a little garden gnomeinside of all of us
that's like, "Ooh! Let's seehow far we can take this."
-Really?-Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
-Wait, how did the gnome...-It's like, "Ooh!"
Right, just... to make sure.
I think we havea sick fascination
with just how farthis whole thing will go.
Like a schadenfreudefor the destruction of America
-or something? That's insane.-Exactly. -No, I think...
I understand what you'resaying, and in the beginning
it kind of felt that way.Like, maybe it-it is like
-a weird, sick...-Sick fascination.
Yeah, like smellingyour own farts or something.
-Like that monkey.-But... -Right.
-But the monkey did fallout of the tree. -Yes.
-He fell right... Yes.-He fell out. All right...
What a great parablefor our times.
Is there... if they did get ridof Trump is there anybody
out there who you thinkpeople would...
CARLOS:Living or dead?
...would be suitableat this point?
Um, I think, honest...The Rock, maybe? I don't know.
-The Rock! That's hilarious!-The Rock. -(cheers, applause)
-That's what I'm talking about!-You're...
-That's what I'm talking about!They know. -You know what?
That is the first idea I heardthat could actually work.
Kevin Hart's the vice presidentin his pocket.
Little Johnson and a big...Little-Little...
That is the first idea I heardthat would actually work.
Well, we don't have Trumpanymore. Boom, we have The Rock.
-Hey! -Hey! -Yeah, peopleare like, "Yeah, I'm on board."
Even Hillary's like,"I'll go for it."
I love that some membersof the RNC said that
they "have a moral obligation...
Didn't the primary voters
express the truemoral obligation
of the Republican party?
It's almost likehe got lucky, you know?
There were so many candidates,it split up the numbers.
He was making... and he was...he was speaking to people
who are really hurtingand really want to change
and the party wasn't reallyhelping them, and he...
It was kind of mixed upand stuff, but so,
he gets therekind of by accident,
but that doesn't mean we have tocontinue the accident.
-WILMORE: Right.-You know?
Do you think if the Republicansthrew out all those votes
at the convention, I... Oh,I can't imagine what would...
Do you think...do you think they would riot?
That would be fun to see--Republicans rioting.
Personally, I think it...Yeah, it would be kind of fun.
Um... but it'd be like bedlam.I think it'd be totally...
The-the convention would bebedlam. It would be like...
if you've ever been, uh, at theAmerican Girl doll store?
-I have. Not-not in the wayyou think. -On Christmas Eve?
Like on, Chri... There...Yeah, it would be,
it would be, like, violence.Like, really violence.
Like, I mean, it would be like
if they ran out of Addy dolls,you know?
Like... You ran out of Addys?!I don't know.
Girls just crying
and people throwing headsand rolling...
-Parents just rippingat each other. -I think...
It'd be such a weird thing.It's a weird, weird summer
for Cleveland to go from LeBron
and all of that joyand then in about three weeks,
Trump's just gonna roll in.
Everyone's gonnabe boarding things up,
LeBron's gonnabe going back to Miami.
You go from...you go from celebrating the...
celebrating the, uh, king
to having to seethe emperor with no clothes.
That's whatI'm talking about, man.
All right, we'll see.We'll be right back.
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