Paul Gilmartin - The Threat

  • Season 8, Ep 25
  • 05/27/2004
  • Views: 2,200

Homosexuals are hogging all the babies in Florida. (2:12)

IT'S IRONIC THAT I'M HERE

TONIGHT BECAUSE I DON'T FEEL

LIKE BEING FUNNY.

[LAUGHTER]

GOD HAS SENT ME HERE.

YOU KNOW WHY.

YOU'VE READ THE PAPERS.

YOU KNOW ABOUT THE HOMOSEXUAL

THREAT.

[LAUGHTER]

OH, THAT'S FUNNY.

THE FACT THAT OUR NATION IS

GOING INTO THE WASTEPAPER BASKET

IS FUNNY TO YOU.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE DEVIL

IS AROUND THE CORNER AND HE'S

WEARING BIKE PANTS.

[LAUGHTER]

EVERY NIGHT I GET ON MY KNEES

AND I SAY, "LORD, PROTECT MY

BUTTHOLE."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I'VE STARTED DRIVING A HUMMER.

I DON'T KNOW IF I'M GOING TO

DRIVE THROUGH A GAY AMBUSH.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU THINK I LIKE THE FACT THAT

IT GETS ONE FOOT PER GALLON?

[LAUGHTER]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE

TO STOP THIS GAY LOVE.

[LAUGHTER]

BECAUSE IF IT SPREADS, THEN WE

COULD HAVE GAY UNDERSTANDING AND

THEN GAY PEACE, AND WE CANNOT

AFFORD PEACE.

WE ARE AT WAR!

LOOK AT WHAT THE GAYS ARE DOING

DOWN IN FLORIDA.

THERE'S A GAY COUPLE.

THEY'VE BEEN ADOPTING HIV

POSITIVE CHILDREN.

AND I DON'T KNOW IF THEY'RE

GOING TO STOP THE GAYS FROM

HOGGING ALL THE AIDS BABIES.

[LAUGHTER]

I JUST HOPE WE CAN GET THOSE

CHILDREN BACK TO THE ORPHANAGE,

WHERE THEY'RE MOST COMFORTABLE.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

PEOPLE SAY TO ME, "PAUL, WHY

DON'T YOU AND YOUR CHURCH GROUP,

WHY DON'T YOU ADOPT THESE LITTLE

CHILDREN?"

WELL, FOR ONE, THEY'VE GOT AIDS.

[LAUGHTER]

IF YOU BRING THESE KIDS TO

CHURCH, EVERYONE AT CHURCH GETS

AIDS.

THEN THE PRIESTS GET AIDS.

THEN THE KIDS GET AIDS AGAIN.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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