Uncensored - Steve Rannazzisi - Just Mature Enough

Steve Rannazzisi: Manchild Season 1, Ep 101 11/16/2013 Views: 6,066

Steve Rannazzisi witnesses something that would have made him laugh ten years ago, but now he is able to pull back his feelings. (2:24)

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THESE THINGS HAPPEN ALL THETIME, MAN.

YOU NEVER KNOW --THESE CRAZY LITTLE EVENTS.

MY POOR WIFE, SHE HAS TODEAL WITH ALL THIS.

I SEE HER EVERY DAY JUST KIND OFGETTING A LITTLE UPSET,

BECAUSE, I MEAN, WHAT'S GOING ONIN MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW IS,

SHE'S RESIGNED TO THE FACT

THAT SHE'S GONNA BESURROUNDED BY DICKS

FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE.

SHE REALLY IS.

AND IT'S SAD.I SEE IT ON HER FACE.

YOU KNOW, MY BOYSARE NAKED CONSTANTLY.

I AM NUDE SOMETIMES.

WE HAVE A 90-POUND LABTHAT SITS IN THE KITCHEN.

[ LAUGHTER ]

HE'LL JUST SIT THEREAND WATCH MY WIFE DO DISHES.

[ GROWLING ]

THEN THAT LITTLE PINK LIPSTICKCOMES SHOOTING OUT.

HE'S LIKE -- [ GROWLING ]

AND MY WIFE'S LIKE, "OH, MY GOD.PLEASE."

YEAH.

A WHILE BACK,

MY WIFE WAS CHANGINGMY NEW SON'S DIAPER.

AND AS SHE WAS DOING SO,I WALKED PAST THE ROOM,

AND SHE WASN'T PAYING ATTENTIONTO WHAT SHE WAS DOING

'CAUSE WE GOTINTO A CONVERSATION.

AND I DON'T HAVE TOTELL YOU GUYS.

KIDS JUST PISSWHENEVER THEY HAVE TO PISS.

AND BOYS, IT KIND OF SHOOTS UP.

SO, THE DIAPER WASN'T ON,AND MY SON STARTED TO PEE,

AND THE PEE CAME UPAND HIT MY WIFE IN THE NECK,

AND WE WERE LIKE, "WHOA!"

AND THEN SHE BACKED UPTO SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON,

AND SOME OF IT WENTRIGHT INTO THE CLOWN'S MOUTH.

[ CROWD GROANS ]

NO, NO, LIVETHAT'S THE FUNNIEST THING

YOU HAVE EVER SEENIN YOUR LIFE --

IN YOUR LIFE!

DO YOU KNOW HOW FAR INTO GOOGLEYOU HAVE TO GO

TO FIND PEOPLE PEEINGIN OTHER PEOPLE'S MOUTHS

IN A COMEDIC FASHION?

IT'S VERY DEEP, GUYS.

BUT I DIDN'T LAUGH.I HAVE MATURED JUST ENOUGH.

10 YEARS AGO,I WOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE, "HA HA!

"PISS IN YOUR MOUTH, BITCH!HA HA HA!

PEE IN YOUR MOUTH!"

FIVE YEARS AGO,I WOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE,

"OH! YOU LIKE THAT?I'M GOING NEXT! HA HA HA!"

[ LAUGHTER ]

BUT I DIDN'T LAUGH.

I PULLED BACKALL THOSE FEELINGS.

MY FIRST INSTINCTIS USUALLY INCORRECT.

I PULLED THAT FEELING BACK,

AND I WENT IN,AND I FIX THE DIAPER,

AND I WIPE THE PEEOFF HER MOUTH.

I WAS LIKE SOME SORTOF ROMANTIC JASON BOURNE.

IT WAS LIKE I BLACKED OUT,

I JUST WENT INAND DID EVERYTHING.

"EVERYTHING'S PERFECT."

AND MY WIFE LOOKED AT ME.

AND SHE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING,BUT SHE JUST LOOKED AT ME.

AND WHAT HER EYES TOLD ME WASTHAT WHAT I HAD JUST DONE

WAS GOOD FOR ONE BLOWJOBIN THE NEXT SIX MONTHS.

THAT'S THE DIRECT EXCHANGE RATEFOR THAT TYPE OF LOVE

SHOWN IN CRITICAL SITUATIONSLIKE THAT.