Lenny Clarke - Weight Loss Pt. 2

  • Season 6 , Ep 5
  • 05/19/2002
  • Views: 2,685

Lenny Clarke recently lost 135 pounds. (1:58)

I WORKED THAT--

OH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO CLAP.

NO, DON'T.

YOU'RE SO NICE.

BUT IF YOU DON'T ALL CLAP

TOGETHER IT LOOKS STUPID.

(LAUGHTER)

AND I HAD TO LOSE WEIGHT.

'CAUSE I WAS SO FAT.

I MEAN, I COULDN'T TIE MY SHOES

WITHOUT PASSING OUT.

AND I'D LOOK AND I'D SAY,

"YOU KNOW, WHAT'S GOING ON DOWN

THERE?"

I MEAN, I HAD TO HAVE MIRRORS.

THERE WAS A LOT OF CRAZY STUFF

GOING ON, YOU KNOW?

AND YOU TRY EVERYTHING TO LOSE

WEIGHT.

I MEAN, I WAS HOPING I'D GET

REALLY SICK.

YOU KNOW, CATCH MAYBE LIKE

A COLD WORK IT INTO A FLU,

GET A DOUBLE PNEUMONIA,

WHOOPING COUGH.

LOSE ALL THIS WEIGHT.

THROWING UP, BURPING UP.

PEOPLE WOULD SAY, "WOW!

YOU LOOK GREAT.

WHAT HAPPENED?"

"OH, I GOT SICK."

I MEAN, I WAS DEAD SERIOUS.

I WAS SO NERVOUS.

I WAS THINKING OF GETTING THAT

FLESH EATING DISEASE.

YOU KNOW, JUST A LITTLE OFF MY

ASS.

SOME OFF MY STOMACH.

THROW IT ON SOME SKINNY GUY

THAT EVERYBODY HATES.

BUT YOU CAN GET PILLS NOW

TO HELP YOU LOSE WEIGHT.

REALLY, I'M NOT TALKING THE

CRAZY PILLS.

I'M TALKING PILLS THAT THEY

ADVERTISE ON TV.

BUT THERE'S ALL SORTS OF CRAZY

CONDITIONS THAT GO ALONG WITH

THIS.

"LIKE PREGNANT WOMEN NURSING

SHOULDN'T BE AROUND IF THE PILL

BREAKS.

RUN, RUN, GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.

RUN FOR YOUR LIFE."

WHAT'S IN THESE PILLS THAT

PREGNANT WOMEN NURSING CAN'T BE

AROUND THEM?

I MEAN, THERE'S ALL SORTS OF

CRAZY SIDE EFFECTS.

LIKE, "IF YOU TAKE THESE PILLS,

YOU WILL LOSE WEIGHT BUT YOU'LL

GET YOU GET BLURRED VISION.

AND YOU'LL HAVE HEADACHES.

AND YOU'LL BE IRRITABLE.

AND YOU'LL BE CRANKY.

AND YOU'LL HAVE DIZZY SPELLS.

AND THEN YOU'LL HAVE LACK OF SEX

DRIVE.

YOU'LL HAVE HAIR LOSS.

AND YOU'LL HAVE A LOOSE STOOLS.

AND SLIGHT OILY DISCHARGE."

(LAUGHTER)

"WHAT DID HE JUST SAY?

SLIGHT OILY DISCHARGE.

HOW MUCH WEIGHT DO YOU WANT TO

LOSE?!"

I CAN SEE THAT NOW, "HEY, LENNY.

HOW'S THAT DIET GOING?"

"PRETTY GOOD."

WELL, SIT DOWN.

TELL US ABOUT IT."

"NO, NO, I'M GOOD.

I'M GOOD."

(LAUGHTER)

I MEAN, DRUGS ARE ONE THING BUT

BAD DRUGS WITH SIDE EFFECTS...

STAY AWAY FROM THEM.

I MEAN, I'M NOT CONDONING DRUGS

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