(computer alert beeping)
Ab, Ab, Ab-- No joke, today is the day
we become Abbi and Ilana, the boss bitches
we are in our minds.
Are you with me?
Yeah, I'm withyou, awesome.
Are you--Is that the whole thing?
Obviously I have a plan.
Tonight we are going to see asecret pop-up Lil Wayne concert
at Bowery Ballroom.
I can't, I'm so broke. No excuses, girl.
I'm getting big ol' balls of mozzarella today.
Chea-- Get it!
You're gonna have to speakin English for me.
I am getting my paycheck today and I can spot you, bitch!
I wish that I could,
but I am so close to finishingseason one of "Damages,"
and I made, this,like, amazing cashew stir-fry
for the week, so I'mactually pretty booked.
Can I talk to the Abbi who stole a van?
Ab, you're so stuck in your little routine.
I bet you schedule when you jack off.
Schedule when I ja--(exhales deeply)
Oh, my God.
Is that Lincoln?
Is he inside of you?
I'm just keeping him warm.
All right-- Let's just setsome ground rules here
for everybody involved.
I don't want to see you have sex.
Let's try and avoid that.
Lincoln, you seem well.
Thank you-- I've beendoing this no-bread diet
and it's pretty good.
It's been working.
All right--I'm gonna head out, then.
That was hot--That was cool.
That was like a threesome,in a way.
Uh, Ilana,what are we doing?
Are we just having sex,hooking up?
Are we dating?
What is this?
This is purelyphysical.
Why does thisalways happen to me?