Ilana's Lil Wayne Plan

  • Season 1 , Ep 1
  • 01/22/2014
  • Views: 15,071

Ilana tries to convince Abbi to ditch her plans for the night and attend a secret Lil Wayne pop-up show. (1:42)

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(whirring)

(music playing)

(computer alert beeping)

Ab, Ab, Ab-- No joke, today is the day

we become Abbi and Ilana, the boss bitches

we are in our minds.

Are you with me?

Yeah, I'm withyou, awesome.

Are you--Is that the whole thing?

Obviously I have a plan.

Tonight we are going to see asecret pop-up Lil Wayne concert

at Bowery Ballroom.

I can't, I'm so broke. No excuses, girl.

I'm getting big ol' balls of mozzarella today.

Chea-- Get it!

Chea-- Harder.

You're gonna have to speakin English for me.

I am getting my paycheck today and I can spot you, bitch!

I wish that I could,

but I am so close to finishingseason one of "Damages,"

and I made, this,like, amazing cashew stir-fry

for the week, so I'mactually pretty booked.

Stir-fry?

Can I talk to the Abbi who stole a van?

Ab, you're so stuck in your little routine.

I bet you schedule when you jack off.

Schedule when I ja--(exhales deeply)

Oh, my God.

Is that Lincoln?

Yep.

Is he inside of you?

Yep.

I'm just keeping him warm.

All right-- Let's just setsome ground rules here

for everybody involved.

I don't want to see you have sex.

Let's try and avoid that.

Lincoln, you seem well.

Thank you-- I've beendoing this no-bread diet

and it's pretty good.

It's been working.

All right--I'm gonna head out, then.

Peace, bye.

That was hot--That was cool.

That was like a threesome,in a way.

Uh, Ilana,what are we doing?

Are we just having sex,hooking up?

Are we dating?

What is this?

This is purelyphysical.

Why does thisalways happen to me?

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