Jeff Dunham - You Da Ho

Jeff Dunham: Spark of Insanity Season 1, Ep 0101 09/23/2007 Views: 553,831

Sweet Daddy Dee reduces Jeff's job to its essentials and dishes about sports. (2:46)

THE MANAGEMENT PROFESSION.

>> RIGHT.

>> PIMP.

[LAUGHTER]

>> YOU'RE A PIMP?

>> THAT MAKES YOU THE "HO."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

>> I'M NOT A WHORE.

>> WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?

>> MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH.

>> MAKE 'EM FEEL GOOD.

>> RIGHT.

>> YOU THE "HO."

>> THAT'S NOT RIGHT.

>> WHY DO YOU DO WHAT YOU DO?

>> WHY, BECAUSE I ENJOY IT AND

IT'S THE BEST WAY I KNOW TO

MAKE MONEY.

>> YOU THE "HO."

>> WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT IF I SAID

I'D DO IT ONLY BECAUSE

I ENJOY IT?

>> YOU THE DUMB HO.

[LAUGHTER]

HA-HA!

[SUCKS TEETH]

[LAUGHTER]

>> SO WHAT IDEAS DO YOU HAVE FOR

MY CAREER?

>> FIRST THING I GOTTA DO IS

SCHOOL YOU IN STREET.

>> STREET.

>> WORD.

>> WHAT?

>> WORD.

[AUDIENCE CHUCKLES]

>> WHAT WORD?

>> WHAT?

[LAUGHTER]

>> YOU SAID "WORD."

>> WORD.

>> WHAT WORD?

>> OH, SNAP, WHAT THE HELL?

[LAUGHTER]

DOG, WORD IS LIKE,

"I HEARD THAT?"

>> HEARD WHAT?

>> OH [BEEP].

[LAUGHTER]

DOG, YOU'RE NOT WHITE, YOU ARE

NEON WHITE.

[LAUGHTER]

HE'S SO WHITE, YOU MAKE

BARRY MANILOW LOOK LIKE

A BROTHER.

[LAUGHTER]

>> WAIT, I LIKE BARRY MANILOW.

>> WHOO, ARE YOU GAY?

>> NO.

>> [QUIETLY]: I HEARD ABOUT

THE LOTION.

[LAUGHTER]

>> LOOK, SWEET DADDY, WHO ARE

SOME OF YOUR OTHER CLIENTS?

>> OOH, I CAN'T TELL YOU THAT.

>> WHY?

>> I GOTTA PROTECT

THEIR ANONYMITY.

>> WELL GIVE US A HINT.

HOW ABOUT SOME INITIALS?

>> O.J.- OH, [BEEP]!

[LAUGHTER]

>> SO YOU HAVE SOME ATHLETES,

SOME FORMER ATHLETES.

>> OH, SURE ENOUGH.

>> SO YOU LIKE SPORTS.

>> OH, YEAH.

>> I LIKE SPORTS.

LET'S TALK ABOUT SPORTS.

>> UH-HUH.

>> WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT

THE... UH, THE HOCKEY STRIKE WE

HAD NOT LONG AGO?

>> THE WHAT?

[LAUGHTER]

>> YOU KNOW, THE HOCKEY STRIKE?

>> OH, YEAH, ME AND ALL THE

BROTHERS WERE LAYIN' AROUND THE

HOOD THE OTHER DAY GOING,

"OH, LORDY, WHAT'LL WE DO?

THERE'S NO HOCKEY.

[LAUGHTER]

THANK THE LORD WE GOT NASCAR."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

NASCAR- THERE'S ANOTHER DUMB ASS

CRACKER SPORT.

[LAUGHTER]

>> NASCAR'S VERY POPULAR.

>> I KNOW THAT, I JUST DON'T

GET IT.

WATCH A GROWN WHITE MAN GOING

500 MILES IN A CIRCLE?

WHAT THE HELL?

WHAT KIND OF 3-1/2 HOURS

IS THIS?

LOOK, THEY'RE MAKING

A LEFT TURN!

OH, THEY'RE MAKING ANOTHER

LEFT TURN!

OH, THEY'RE MAKING ANOTHER

LEFT TURN!

I WONDER WHAT'S GONNA

HAPPEN NEXT?

[LAUGHTER]