- GUN ONE, GUN TWO...

- HEY, GRANDPA!

- OH.

WELL, WELL, WELL.

LOOK WHO IT IS.SHORT-WIDE.

- MM, GOOD ONE.

- YOU COME OUTOF THE CLOSET YET?

- [forced laughter]NO.

ONLY CLOSET I'M IN IS THE ONETHAT I'M TRAPPED IN.

WITH R. KELLY,WATCHING A RAP OPERA.

- AH, CUT THE CRAP.I KNOW WHY YOU'RE HERE.

YOU WANT TO WEASELBACK ONTO MY HEALTH INSURANCE,

YOU DAMN FREELOADER.

- I'M NOT A FREELOADER, OKAY?

IT'S JUST I CAN'T AFFORDHEALTH INSURANCE,

AND I EXPECT IT TO BE FREE.

I HAVE TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL.- HOSPITAL?

HOSPITAL DIDN'T HELP MEWHEN I RODE A JEEP

OUT OF A B-52AT 35,000 FEET--

- IT WAS 25,000 LAST TIME.

- 35,000 FEET,

HAD TO PARACHUTEINTO ENEMY TERRITORY,

AND TOOK EIGHT BULLETSUP MY ASS.

- YEAH.

- BUT YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHINGABOUT THAT

BECAUSE YOU'VE NEVER BEENIN A WAR!

- YEAH, I'VE NEVER BEENIN A WAR

'CAUSE THERE'S NEVER BEENANY BIG WARS FOR ME TO SERVE IN!

- OH, JEEZ, YOU KNOW,I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS.

I'VE GOT MY ANNUAL LUAU,

AND I AM IN CHARGEOF THE PIG.

AND I'M NOT TALKINGABOUT YOUR AUNT HOLLY.

- AUNT HOLLYHAS A GLANDULAR DISORDER.

HEY, COULD YOU HOLD THAT DOOR?

I ACTUALLY CAN'T OPEN DOORS!

[door slams]OW! OW!