Neck Tattoos

August 2, 2016 - Climate Change Comedian Season 8, Ep 19 08/02/2016 Views: 7,755

Daniel treats his staff to an assortment of embarrassing neck tattoos, ranging from Smash Mouth lyrics to a portrait of Donald Trump. (2:58)

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- [YELLING]

- [GROANING]

- AHH!

[BLEEP], AH!

- RAY, POM, OHIO, ASS,

DENTIST, MAN.

[LAUGHTER]

- [SCREAMING]

- [YELLING]

- OW! WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!

I CAN'T TAKE IT.

- TONY.

- I'M SORRY. THE PAIN--- HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET.

- UGH!

- SURE TATTOOSARE EXPENSIVE, PAINFUL,

AND HAVE BEEN LINKEDTO CANCER AND HEPATITIS,

BUT IT'S NOTHING COMPARED

TO A LIFETIMEOF LOOKING BADASS.

I'VE ALWAYS WANTEDA NECK TATTOO,

BUT ON WHITE PEOPLE,

THEY TEND TO READA BIT NAZI-ISH.

SO WHEN I DISCOVERED THISWEBSITE CALLED MOMENTARY INK

THAT MAKES EXTREMELY REALISTICCUSTOM TEMPORARY TATTOOS,

I DECIDED TO TOUGHEN UPTHE DORKS ON MY STAFF

WITH SOME SICK NECK TATS!

[DRIVING ROCK MUSIC]

ALL RIGHT, EDDIE,SINCE YOU LIKE

THE MOST BORING-ASSBASKETBALL TEAM,

I GOT YOU THE MOSTBORING-ASS TATTOO.

PRETTY BADASS.

SWISH.

TIM DUNCAN BANK SHOT.

ALL RIGHT, LEIF, YOU LIVE

IN A HIP, UP-AND-COMINGNEIGHBORHOOD,

I.E., BLACK.

THIS TATTOO'S GONNA MAKE ITSO FUN FOR YOU

TO MEET YOUR NEIGHBORS

WHEN YOU'RE HANGING OUTON A STOOP.

IT'S NOT ABOUT HATE;IT'S ABOUT...

- HERITAGE.- HERITAGE, THAT'S RIGHT.

IT'S HARD TO EMBARRASS A MAN

WHO ALREADY HAS A CASSETTE TAPE

PERMANENTLY TATTOOEDTO THEIR ARM

AND GOES TO COACHELLAEVERY SINGLE YEAR,

BUT I THINKTHIS DID THE TRICK.

WHAT WE WENT WITHIS A NECK TAT

OF THE LYRICSOF SMASHED MOUTH'S HIT

FROM THE MOVIE "SHREK""ALL STAR."

ALL: ♪ HEY, NOW,YOU'RE AN ALL STAR ♪

♪ GET YOUR GAME ON

♪ GO, HEY

YOU TWO REDNECKS WENTTO THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA,

SO I'M SUREYOU'RE GONNA APPRECIATE

THESE AUBURN TATTOOS.

GET A GOOD SHOT OF THOSEFOR YOUR STUPID MESSAGE BOARDS,

YOU COUSIN-[BLEEP] HILLBILLIES.

WAR EAGLE!

BOTH: WAR EAGLE!

- [SQUAWKING]

- YOU STILL FEELINGTHE BURN, CHARLIE?

GOOD LUCK EXPLAINING THAT TOYOUR LIBERAL HOLLYWOOD FRIENDS.

ALL RIGHT, NOW IT'S MY TURN.

REMEMBER, I LOVETHE DOLPHIN SURFING

IN CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES.

PLEASE BE RESPECTFUL.

A DICK CHOKER,

DICK AND PUBES,

AND TRIBAL DICK ON MY HEAD?

I LOVE IT.

I LOVE IT!

"TOSH.0" TILL WE [BLEEP] DIE.

NOTHING A LOT OF GASOLINEAND STEEL WOOL

COULDN'T SCRUB OFF,

BUT NOT BEFORE I GOTMY NEW PASSPORT PHOTO.

I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONEI'M GONNA PICK.

SHOWED UP TO A RALLYFOR WOMEN'S RIGHTS,

MET SOME FANS,

AND THEN HIT UPMY FAVORITE GAY COMEDY CLUB.

ONE OF THE BEST SETSI'VE HAD IN A WHILE.

MUST'VE BEEN THE SHIRT.