Thank you very much.
This is sweet.
Fuck! This is good.
I can't believe this.
This is fucking great.
Hi, I'm Dave Attell.
Welcome to The Underground.
Give yourselves a hand.
Come on now.
Wow, this isperfect, man.
Here we are in thebasement, right?
This is great.
No one can hearyou laugh or scream.
This is perfect!
Let me check outthis crowd.
Let's see what we got.
And look what wegot over here.
Oh, what a rarity, man.
Neil Diamond meeting theJames Franco character
from Spring Breakers.
Neil Diamond, would youmind being the camera man
for the show?Will you do it?
Yeah, sure.(Dave)What's your name?
Bob.(Dave)There you go.
How about a handfor Bob, everyone?
Take a look around.
Get used to the camerawork.
Back this way, dude.
Side burnsare cool, dude.
Get a shot of yourown sideburns, do it.
Sideburns arethe balls of the face.
I like that.
And calves are thetits of the legs.
That's all I know.
I was homeschooled.
We need a guy to throwout the first filthy,
dirty joke and I knowwho we should get.
Ron Jeremy!Here he is.
The hedgehog,the legend, the icon.
Ron, thanks for coming threefeet away to be on this show.
I appreciate it.
Wait, I gotta makethe mic Jewish.
Wow! Raw dog.
Hey, Ron, do you haveany more jokes for us?
'Cause that waspretty cool.
Well, dick stuff,I guess.You got anotherdick joke?
You guys wanna hear anotherdick joke from Ron?
Yeah, let's do it.
Kick it off, Ron!Let's do it.
Bring it.This farmer'sfucking a donkey.
Now, I'm on the farm, watchingthe farmer fuck a donkey.
And, I go to hisson and say, kid,
your dad is fuckinga donkey.
Kid goes, hee-hawlways does that!
What are youguys? Vegans?
That's a great donkeyfucking bit.
Keep it going forRon Jeremy, everyone.
God bless you.
You are a nationaltreasure.