Morgan Murphy - Bad Neighborhood

Allen, Murphy, Seccia, Roulette Season 8, Ep 0805 01/28/2005 Views: 16,917

Morgan Murphy lives in a bad neighborhood. (1:47)

I ACTUALLY LIVE IN A HORRIBLE

NEIGHBORHOOD.

IT IS AN AWFUL NEIGHBORHOOD IN

L.A.

AND HERE'S THE THING: WHEN YOU

LIVE IN A BAD NEIGHBORHOOD,

YOU'VE GOT TO BE IN DENIAL.

YOU JUST HAVE TO DO WHATEVER

YOU CAN TO HAVE FUN, YOU KNOW.

LIKE I WOULD MAKE UP MY OWN

GAMES TO PLAY.

MY FAVORITE GAME THAT I'VE

MADE UP SO FAR, I CALL IT A

MATCH THE APARTMENT WITH THE

WANDERING INFANT.

[LAUGHTER]

IT'S FUN.

IT'S FREE.

IT'S FREE, COMPLETELY.

NO, I KNEW I WAS--

I KNEW I WAS LYING LIKE,

BECAUSE I'D BE GIVING

DIRECTIONS TO MY FRIENDS.

I WAS LYING ABOUT HOW NICE

MY NEIGHBORHOOD WAS, YOU KNOW,

'CAUSE MY DIRECTIONS WOULD

ALWAYS CONCLUDE WITH ME SAYING,

OH YEAH, AND IF YOU CAN'T FIND

A SPOT ON THE STREET, JUST

PARK BEHIND THE WINCHELLS AND

RUN.

BUT DON'T RUN LIKE YOU'RE

SCARED, YOU KNOW.

RUN LIKE YOU'RE JOGGING.

BECAUSE THEY SMELL FEAR.

THEY'RE LIKE BEES WITH CORNROWS.

AND HEY, THAT'S NOT--

THAT'S NOT A RACIAL STATEMENT,

ALL RIGHT.

I THINK WE ALL KNOW--

WE ALL KNOW THAT WHITE PEOPLE

CAN HAVE CORNROWS, RIGHT?

AND I PERSONALLY WOULD BE MUCH

MORE AFRAID OF A WHITE GUY IN

CORNROWS THAN A BLACK GUY IN

CORNROWS, RIGHT?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

RIGHT?

'CAUSE A WHITE GUY IN CORNROWS

IS BASICALLY SAYING TO YOU,

"HEY, I DON'T KNOW THE

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RIGHT AND

WRONG.

I WILL STAB YOU AND GO FINISH

MY BOOK".

YOU GUYS, TH