Jimmy Dore - Catholic School Teachers

  • Season 8 , Ep 20
  • 04/08/2004
  • Views: 3,782

Catholic school teachers were willing to take a cut in pay so they could hit kids. (2:19)

Jimmy Dore: SO WE'RE ALL GONNA

DIE.

I CAN'T STOP THINKIN' ABOUT IT.

AND--

[LAUGHTER]

WE'RE JUST--

EVERY ONE OF US, WE'RE ALL GONNA

DIE.

AND I WAS READIN' THIS ARTICLE

ABOUT IT.

AND THIS ARTICLE SAID THAT WE'RE

THE ONLY ANIMAL AWARE OF OUR OWN

DEATH.

SO WE DO A LOT OF THINGS, LIKE

WE INVENT RELIGION AND HEAVEN

TO MAKE IT EASIER TO DIE SO WE

DON'T GO KICKING AND SCREAMING

INTO OUR GRAVES, AND WE HAVE

DIGNITY AT THE END OF LIFE.

AND I WAS LIKE, "YEAH, THAT

MAKES SENSE," YOU KNOW.

'CAUSE I WAS BROUGHT UP

CATHOLIC, RIGHT, SO I HAVE A LOT

OF HATE.

AND--

[LAUGHTER]

MY PARENTS WERE CATHOLIC,

THEY WERE REALLY CATHOLIC,

YOU KNOW?

LIKE THEY ALMOST MOLESTED

SOMEBODY.

AND--

[LAUGHTER]

YEAH.

YEAH.

[APPLAUSE]

CAN'T GET MUCH MORE CATHOLIC

THAN THAT, YOU KNOW.

[LAUGHTER]

THAT'S HARDCORE, YOU KNOW.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

I MEAN, I'LL GO TO CHURCH ON

SUNDAY, BUT THAT'S WHERE I DRAW

THE LINE.

[LAUGHTER]

AND I WENT TO CATHOLIC SCHOOL

FOR 12 YEARS, YOU KNOW.

AND PEOPLE ALWAYS SAY TO ME,

THEY GO, "JIMMY, YOU WENT TO

CATHOLIC SCHOOL FOR 12 YEARS.

HOW COME YOU'RE NOT A CATHOLIC?"

SAY, "'CAUSE I WENT TO CATHOLIC

SCHOOL FOR 12 YEARS.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I HAD IT BEATEN OUT OF ME BY

GOD'S LITTLE HELPERS."

[LAUGHTER]

YEAH.

I WAS TAUGHT BY THE NUNS.

BOY, THEY'RE A HAPPY-GO-LUCKY

BUNCH.

[LAUGHTER]

AND GET THIS, AT MY SCHOOL THEY

HAD THE RELIGIOUS TEACHERS,

RIGHT?

THEY HAD LIKE THE NUNS AND

STUFF.

AND THEY HAD THE NON-RELIGIOUS

TEACHERS, LIKE THE REGULAR

PEOPLE.

AND THEY MADE A LOT LESS MONEY

THAN THE PUBLIC SCHOOL TEACHERS

DID, AND I KNOW THAT BECAUSE

THEY TOLD US EVERY DAMN DAY.

[LAUGHTER]

THEY'D BE LIKE "WE DON'T MAKE

AS MUCH MONEY AS THE PUBLIC

SCHOOL TEACHERS.

WE TEACH HERE BECAUSE WE ENJOY

THE DISCIPLINE THEY ALLOW US!"

[LAUGHTER]

AND I'M THINKIN', "HOLY CRAP,

I'M IN TROUBLE."

[LAUGHTER]

HERE IS SOMEONE WILLING TO TAKE

A CUT IN PAY...

[LAUGHTER]

SO THEY CAN HIT ME!"

HOW SICK IS THAT?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WHAT KIND OF AN INTERVIEW

WAS THAT LIKE?

"AH, WE CAN'T PAY YOU MUCH."

"CAN YA HIT 'EM?"

[LAUGHTER]

"AH, YEAH."

"HOW HARD?"

[LAUGHTER]

"HARD AS YOU WANT, JUST DON'T

BE ANGRY."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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