Artie Lange - Decorating the Man Cave

Artie Lange: The Stench of Failure Season 1, Ep 101 10/18/2014 Views: 6,412

When Artie Lange and Nick DiPaolo were working at DirecTV, they found it fantastically impossible to offend their bosses. (1:27)

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I workeddoing a sports show for a while.

I loved working for DIRECTV.I did,

because DIRECTV is like real menin this sea of pussies,

like the Bravo networkand stuff.

They're real men.They're like the mafia.

Nick DiPaolo and I workedfor them for a while.

They built us a man cave,and they said,

"What do you want on the wallsof your man cave?"

You know, Dan Patrick hashis favorite jerseys framed

and shit,and Nick and I said,

"Let's see if we could somehowoffend them as a joke."

So Nick said, "Here's what Iwant on the wall of my man cave.

"I want a paintingof Michael Vick

playing poker with dogs."

And we thoughtthat would offend them.

They were like,"[bleep] yeah!"

They pointedto some Korean chick with a pad,

"Draw that, bitch!"

She's all scared and crying.

And I said to myself,"How can I top that?"

So I said,"Here's what I want.

"I want a photoof Peyton Manning

"in his Denver uniform, okay,

"Photoshopped next to a pictureof O.J. Simpson.

"And I want a caption underneathto read,

'O.J. Simpsonand a slow, white Bronco.'"

Again, we thoughtthey were gonna be offended.

They were like, "[bleep] yeah!

You twoare shitting diamonds!"