I workeddoing a sports show for a while.
I loved working for DIRECTV.I did,
because DIRECTV is like real menin this sea of pussies,
like the Bravo networkand stuff.
They're real men.They're like the mafia.
Nick DiPaolo and I workedfor them for a while.
They built us a man cave,and they said,
"What do you want on the wallsof your man cave?"
You know, Dan Patrick hashis favorite jerseys framed
and shit,and Nick and I said,
"Let's see if we could somehowoffend them as a joke."
So Nick said, "Here's what Iwant on the wall of my man cave.
"I want a paintingof Michael Vick
playing poker with dogs."
And we thoughtthat would offend them.
They were like,"[bleep] yeah!"
They pointedto some Korean chick with a pad,
"Draw that, bitch!"
She's all scared and crying.
And I said to myself,"How can I top that?"
So I said,"Here's what I want.
"I want a photoof Peyton Manning
"in his Denver uniform, okay,
"Photoshopped next to a pictureof O.J. Simpson.
"And I want a caption underneathto read,
'O.J. Simpsonand a slow, white Bronco.'"
Again, we thoughtthey were gonna be offended.
They were like, "[bleep] yeah!
You twoare shitting diamonds!"